I honestly cannot believe that it’s already June! Seriously, things need to slow down. Not going to lie, the rate at which time seems to be speeding by is quite alarming, anyone feel this way?
Oh and did everyone remember to say “Rabbit, Rabbit” as soon as they woke up? If you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, when I was a kid I heard that if the first words you say before anything else on the first day of the month, then you have good luck the rest of that month! Yes, a silly superstition but one I try to remember to do 12 times per year… 12 chances for extra good luck Don’t worry if you missed it this morning or forgot to, as I did (what date it is occurred to me after my alarm went off and I had already exclaimed out loud how “tired I am!” therefore missing saying ‘rabbit, rabbit’ before anything else) July will be here before we know it!
The beginning of every month, week, year, day, has often been thought of as the perfect time to “start over,” try and commit to something, or reach a goal, etc. That is of course why the whole concept of New Year’s Resolutions exist. They give people a beginning point where they have the opportunity to make some goals in whatever area they feel is necessary, and that is the date in which it will begin. Dieting is often associated with New Year’s Resolutions or the start of a fresh week, when individuals make claims that as soon for example as soon Monday rolls around, no more treats, sugar, fat, whatever. However, we all know that goals like this are not long-lasting because they are all about deprivation, negative thoughts, and the continuous use of the word “no.”
NO. When you hear that word, what do you think of, how does it make you feel?
NO. It’s a pretty negative sounding word if you ask me. It means something you are not allowed to do, have, be, engage in… no, not allowed. Saying no can be both beneficial and negative for an individual depending on the situation. If for example, a drug addict is choosing to say no and stop their drug use, this is obviously a good thing. On the flip side for example, if you are someone who is saying no to something you truly need or want and this is actually a positive thing for yourself, than “no” is only causing you unneeded distress.
No matter the circumstances however, continuously saying NO causes distress, angst, anger, fatigue, confusion, sadness, and depression. It completely makes sense, you’re going to get mad if you are deprived of something you want. When a child is not allowed to have the toy they so desperately “need” they will most likely throw a temper tantrum. The teenager who asks his parents for a later curfew but is denied this request, is going to be in a bad mood and become angry. If you are someone with disordered eating who constantly says no to the foods they want, the activities they hope to engage in, and the life they so want to be comfortable living, well that person is going to be pretty pissed off.
Last summer I was pretty damn good at saying no. No to an increasing number of foods that I fooled myself into believing I no longer liked. No to going out with friends. No to taking a rest day. No to even slightly breaking from my routine. No to traveling or visiting others and leaving my place of comfort. No to gaining weight. No wonder I was always in a foul, depressed mood last summer. I was convinced that by depriving myself of certain things, then I would eventually become happier with my choices and eventually be glad I made the decisions that I did. I was making myself believe I no longer even liked the foods I had cut out, ice cream, nut butters, cereal, meats, baked goods, pizza, and pretty much any carbohydrate source (besides fruit).
I would make every effort and excuse to say no to any sort of social event that involved food I was “not allowed” or it was too late in the evening and would corrupt my precious sleep patter for the night. No, I would not go out to dinner and have drinks with friends, ‘I mean it’s not fun anyways!’ Nope, definitely will not travel anywhere and leave my sheltered home with the food I need to have to keep me functioning and “happy.” No, I will most certainly not take a day off of exercise. My body is fine, it can take it, and it will only improve my overall fitness level. Why would you take a rest day? No, I will no do something so silly like that, no matter what experts and every single person in my life advices for me.
NO to (what I consider) junk foods. NO to the occasional indulgence. NO to gaining weight. NO to a life that is fun, spontaneous, filled with adventure, different, changing… NO!
Did just reading that kind of put you in a bad mood, or think negatively? Because it sure did for me. When you lead a life that is full of deprivation, no matter how much you convince yourself that you don’t want whatever you are not allowing yourself to have, it’s going to reflect on your mood. It is simply not fun to never say YES.
YES. YES. YES. I am saying this word out loud right now and it just feels better. Try it yourself, speak NO and then YES out loud. Which one do you prefer? Which one is lighter sounding? When I pronounce yes, I can feel my voice becoming a bit elevated and it allows me to stop dwelling on whatever negatives are occurring.
I am going to try something new for the month of June and it’s this crazy idea to much more often than not, say “yes” to the things that I want. It can be anything. Food, being spontaneous, taking a chance, resting, lounging all day in my pajamas, standing up for myself, going out with friends… Yes to all of these, oh and guilt is not allowed! The goal is to start a month full of YES, allowing myself to have what I have been saying no to for so long. I understand at this point that the repeated NOs really add up and make me a miserable bitch.
Why yes, I think I will have that extra tablespoon of almond butter with breakfast. Of course I am going to have ice cream for dessert a few days in a row. Why wouldn’t I go out to dinner to a place that has “scary” foods on the menu and order something that makes me uncomfortable? Yes to having something for lunch other than a salad. Certainly it’s fine to travel for a few days without complete access and control of what I am going to eat or when I am going to exercise. It’s completely okay to not get at least 9 hours of sleep every so often. Yes, everything will be alright.
The repeated fear is what’s going to happen if I start saying “yes” much more often than “no.” Not only will I gain weight, but how much?! Will I be able to exercise enough to burn off what I ate? How will the weight gain make me feel? What if I don’t have fun with the chance I am taking? Well I do know one thing, the world will not end if I put on a few more pounds, it will not kill me to miss a few days of exercising. So what if I am out of my comfort zone for a few hours or day, at least I am making memories.
For me that’s what it comes down to. What will I remember 1, 2, 5, 10, 25 years from now? I do not wish to have memories that are filled with all of the NOs I have clung onto and answered with. Their is not adventure in living a life like this. My memories should be ones that are about that crazy vacation I took, or the most amazing, indulgent dessert I ever had. The relationships and friendships I have formed with people. None of these will occur if I keep saying NO.
YES, is the goal for June. YES to living a life that is free of irrational, disordered, illogical thoughts about food and my body. No one deserves this.
I have been reading so many blogs lately where each of the lovey author’s have been challenging themselves or have conquered something important in their lives that have benefitet them in the long run.
Corey said YES to taking a week off of running after being in a bit of a funk lately. She tried running again and had positive results.
Even though it was initially uncomfortable, Tina said NO to binging and YES to releasing her emotions through a powerful, tiring run and workout.
Melissa is saying YES to acknowledging her feelings, and understanding that she needs them rather than suppressing them or pretending they do not exist.
Try saying YES to just a few things you have been depriving yourself of or have been reluctant to engage in. Maybe not all at once if it’s too frightening, start slow if you need to. That’s what I am planning on doing. Tonight for example, I am saying YES to going out to dinner at a restaurant for a friend’s birthday that has a menu chalk-full of NO foods. Although I will not take such a hefty plunge and order something that is deep fried or smothered in butter, I will answer YES to tasting something that I truly want to try. Megan just did this the other night, and she inspired me to branch out a bit for once The only thing I am allowing myself to say NO to is Guilt, it is not allowed, forbidden… sorry about that Guilt.
What are some of your goals for June?
Do you like this idea of choosing to throw in a few YES’s in the mix?
What is something you will say YES to today and allow yourself to do or have?