WIAW- Holiday and Challenges Edition

by tessa8m on December 28, 2011

in What I Ate Wednesday

Good Morning and Happy Wednesday!

**Yesterday we experienced a family emergency and as a result, I am not at my dad’s… Everything is okay though, and I shall fill you in at a later date… when I am ready to.

As you may or may not have read from Monday’s post, I talked a whole lot about my thoughts on the weekend, and how my disordered eating played it’s own part. The holidays are a very tough time for me because I am trying to act as normal as I can, but let’s face it, it’s nearly impossible at this point in my life. These special occasions are about family, bonding, joy and relaxing, but of course, food is a major focus as well.

What I left out was all of the delicious food that was consumed (yes reluctantly at times, but I still busted through those ED mentalities) I thought What I Ate Wednesday would be a perfect time to showcase my eats and also share some splendid recipes that were conjured up for the holiday. Thank you Jenn for putting this together :D

This Christmas was a huge improvement from last year, as I actually ate some of the food that was served, and challenged myself as often as I could handle it. A year ago while everyone sat down to lasagna, I sat at the table full of anxiety, dread and guilt, while the eating disorder voice was making a rather compelling argument of every single reason why I should not eat any of this special Christmas dinner.

After my “meal” of a single piece of pasta and a few bites of sauce, I was starving and wolfed down a baked sweet potato in between cleaning up and getting the desserts (secretly I might add) out that I had baked… oh and that I was certainly not planning on eating any of. Umm good times? Hardly.

The eating disorder voice was in full force this weekend, but how I reacted to it is the major difference and improvement that is evident from last year. I was still struggling Friday afternoon and into the evening, but there was a moment that I decided to kick the illogical voices aside, and deal with the discomfort and guilt that would come as soon as I let things go. However, if that meant being able to enjoy the time with my loving family, well than so be it.

Since Christmas Eve Eve eats kind of err…sucked (by my own doing of course) I will focus more on the main event the rather special food that was prepped and consumed on the 24th (with some eats from Friday thrown in)! My grandparents prepared the dinner, while I gladly took on the task of providing dessert. To say I was a baking fiend would be a sincere understatement. Basically I cooked up everything I have been pining to lately… and it was awesome :)

So let’s get to it, WIAW- Holiday Edition!

Breakfast:

Pumpkin Oatmeal topped with a homemade (be me!) dough ball and frozen blueberries.

I do enjoy the different breakfasts I have been making lately, but this bowl of oatmeal is just so delicious and I can’t resist having it regularly!

A year ago I would have skipped breakfast to save calories for the day in order to be somewhat “alright” with eating a Christmas dinner later that day. Well actually my “breakfast” would have included a whole bunch of raw vegetables such as carrots, celery, and green beans. Oh and then I would have stuffed myself silly with fruit in order to feel full… then a massive stomachache would be inevitable, I would be gassy, bloated, uncomfortable, “fat”…. Phew glad that period of my life is past.

Lunch/Snacks/Dinner:

The rest of the was filled with cooking, baking and prepping, so I can’t say that I sat down to an actual lunch or snack. Dinner yes, but the other meals were eaten more on the go, although I did make sure to eat regularly and get the required calories in that are non-negotiable.

So before getting into our Christmas Eve dinner, I want to share with you results of my baking storm and share the recipes :) I also made a promise to myself that whatever I baked I HAD TO try it… a waste if I didn’t and a victory for ED. No thank you.

First up:

Holiday Rice Krispies

Not anything unique… I just made a basic Rice Krispie Treats recipe and added some festive sprinkles. There is just something so perfect about Rice Krispies, you can’t go wrong in my opinion! Plus they are a bit lighter compared to other desserts out there.

Candied Nut Clusters

Ingredients

  • 1.5 cups sugar
  • 2 T butter
  • 3 cups salted mixed nuts

Directions

  1. Cook 1.5 cups sugar over medium heat, swirling pan but not stirring, until dark amber, about 10 minutes.
  2. Off the heat, stir in the butter and the salted mixed nuts.
  3. Pour onto an oiled baking sheet, separate into clusters and let harden.

My gram kept telling me I should not have made this because it was rather addictingly delicious :)

Chocolate Cookies with Mint and White Chocolate Chips

Ingredients

  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 2 cups white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips
  • 2/3 cup mint chocolate chips

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; stir into the creamed mixture. Fold in the white chocolate chips. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
  3. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, until cookies are set. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely

Remember when I discussed the Mint-Chip find during my vlog a few weeks ago? Well they were finally put into use and yeah, these were good. You know I am bat-shit crazy for chocolate-mint right now, and these satisfied that craving quite well!

Holiday Meringues

Ingredients

  • 3 egg whites
  • 1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2/3 cup white sugar
  • Various colored sprinkles for decoration

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Combine egg whites, cream of tartar, and vanilla. Beat until the whites form soft peaks. Slowly add sugar; beat until stiff peaks form, and mixture becomes glossy.
  3. Drop mixture by teaspoonfuls on to two parchment covered cookie sheet. Sprinkle with decorations of choice.
  4.  Place in preheated oven, close door and turn off the oven. Leave cookies undisturbed (don’t open the door) for at least 2 hours so they can dry out.

This was my first time making meringues, but they actually turned out great! Well errr… the bottoms of the first batch were a bit overdone (read: burned), but the next ones came out rather prefect if I do say so myself :) Another light treat for the holidays!

I also made chocolate chip cookies for my grandpa at his request…. I was more than happy to as it was an excuse to bake something else and I felt compelled to sample the dough (a lot!) you know to make sure it is tasty enough ;)

All of my baking creations!

Other eats included my grandfather’s famous (to us at least :) ) Antipasto…

This is a traditional appetizer that we enjoy on Christmas and something I look forward to every year! I used to HATE IT when I was younger and would pick off the salami and cheese from it.. and that was it. But I no longer a picky eater, am recovering of course, so it was time to eat some of this special meal!

I also contributed two vegetable side dishes that were healthier in order to balance out the holiday eats a bit. And let’s be honest here, I also made them because although I did eat some of the food that everyone else was having, I was only comfortable with smaller portions. I wanted to make sure I ate enough, while also cooking up a dish that my family would enjoy as well.

Yes I know I “should” be eating whatever the heck I want to and not worry about the portions and all of that, but alas, not up to that point yet. Better though as I have said, so let’s go from there.

On Friday night I used this recipe as inspiration and cooked up a light side dish to go along with the bit of spaghetti I ate as well. However, instead of adding in chicken sausage, I used mushrooms as we already had plenty of meat coming from the meat sauce over the pasta.

I even had a small piece of pizza (SCARY FEAR FOOD) my mom and gram created… oh my lord was it good.

So many fear foods were overtaken during this meal, and even on a day that I felt crappy about myself. I would say that is a win.

On Christmas Eve I made another dish using Kale….

Kale Salad with Cranberries and Slivered Almonds

Ingredients

  • 2 bunches fresh kale, tough stems and ribs discarded, leaves sliced
  • 1 sweet onion, sliced
  • 2 tablespoons white miso paste
  • 1/2 cup diced fresh cranberries
  • 1/3 cup slivered almonds

Directions

  1. Pour 2 tablespoons of water into a large pot and set over medium-high heat. Add kale a few handfuls at a time, stirring and letting it cook down until all of it fits in the pot. Add onion, lower the heat to medium, cover and cook until onion and kale are tender, 10 to 12 minutes.
  2. Meanwhile, whisk miso and 2 tablespoons boiling water together. Transfer kale and onion to a platter, drizzle with miso mixture and sprinkle with cranberries.
  3. Sprinkle almonds on before serving.

As I discussed last Friday, we were having a rib roast for our Christmas meal and oh yeah… I sure did eat some. There was no way in hell I would turn down such a fabulous piece of meat, screw you ED, this sh*t was good. Oh and some of my Kale dish and a classic white baked potato.

I also tried a very small piece of my grandmother’s Yorkshire pudding! If anyone is familiar with how this “pudding” is made, well it’s one of the more scary things I can think of eating. But again, this was a special meal, and I had already made a decision to put all of my demon voices aside, well as much as I could at least.

This meal was honestly “melt in your mouth” good! Yes, the guilt, I am fat thoughts, and anxiety were there, but I did my very best to forget about that, and I believed I accomplished that to a certain extent.

Here are some more pictures from the weekend…

Errr take 1 of the pic with Ma :)

 

More victories by going out with some friends on Friday night!

Brothers <3

Presents :)

There were certainly some rough moments, set backs, and negative emotions that were felt throughout this weekend. But once I “got my head on straight” and realized how much I was sabotaging my own holiday with my family, I did my best to rally and enjoy this special time. I tasted food I never would have thought possible even just a short time ago, baked up some great dishes, cooked-up fresh side dishes, and enjoyed the most “normal” Christmas I have had in two years.

Woah there is a picture and food overload in this post… I guess that means a successful WIAW :)

Please share!

1) If you suffer with anxiety and illogical thoughts around food, did you overcome any of irrationalities this weekend?

2) Do you have any traditional foods among your family that are always eaten at certain holidays? Antipasto= Christmas :)

3) Did you bake or cook any recipes for the holidays? What was your best creation?

4) On that note, do you prefer to bake or cook? I have always been a baker, but am loving cooking more and more these past few months!

5) And of course, what is the best thing you ate this past weekend?!

Have a great day everyone! Can’t wait to stalk look at all of your blogs and eats today :D

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{ 104 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Khushboo December 28, 2011 at 5:53 am

I just had lunch an hour ago and am still full yet this post has me drooling! All sounds great, especially the rice krispies! Something about eating them always makes me feel like a kid all over again! We cooked our entire Christmas meal but ‘cheated’ by serving store-bought desserts! It’s all good, they were just as fantastic and in fact the chocolate yule log might have been my favorite part about the whole meal!

On a separate note, I love that you mentioned about skipping breakfast ‘to save calories’…other than being a completely crazy idea, I truly think it’s such a rookie mistake. From past experience, I know that it’s only a way of asking for trouble, i.e. starve now, binge later because you ‘deserve’ it! Errrr no!

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2 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Yes my exact thoughts on the breakfast situation… skipping it has never helped me out!

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3 Natasha December 28, 2011 at 5:59 am

All of those goodies you baked looked amazing – especially the nuts!! And that kale salad – wow I’m making that either today or tomorrow hahah!
Oh yes I definitely indulged over Christmas and it was fine – one meal, one day no big deal! I was super proud of myself for not caring and then picking myself up the next day and just going back to healthy habits! The dessert I had was sooo worth it (super sugary date bars, trifle, and apple crumble cheesecake bars – sugar coma hahah).
I’m also like you, baking is way more fun!!!!!!!
Anyways,
Good for you for conquering some fears this holiday season! You work hard all year long being healthy so why not enjoy some delicious food ONE day of the year, right?
xoxo
Natasha recently posted..My Perfect Imperfections Tag

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4 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Yummm your dessert menu sounds rather fantastic Natasha! And you are right, it is only one day and it’s fine :)

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5 Lyn @ FueledBySalad December 28, 2011 at 6:09 am

I’m so glad you had a great time baking + dinner-ing with the family, and didn’t let the thoughts take over completely. All of those cookies look delicious, and that kale salad looks heavenly. Whenever I contribute dishes, I also try to make them ‘healthy’ to balance out all the richer fare. I’m more of a cook myself, mainly because baking makes SUCH a huge mess and I don’t exactly have the biggest sweet tooth in the world.
Lyn @ FueledBySalad recently posted..Still alive!

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6 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Yes balancing the dishes out is key!

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7 Shannon from Healthiful Balance December 28, 2011 at 6:13 am

Wow, you baked a lot of yummy looking holiday treats! :) Have a great WIAW!
Shannon from Healthiful Balance recently posted..Post Christmas Blues

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8 Fran@ Broken Cookies Don't Count December 28, 2011 at 7:24 am

You are quite the baker! Those two kale recipes definitely caught my eye, being veggie and I’ll have to give them a try. I can never find kale though. Gonna have to go to Whole Foods or Wegman’s I think in order to find it. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job, Tessa. Every curve thrown at you, you are dealing with it and working around it. Keep thinking about what you do and telling yourself that YOU are in charge, because you are! Excellent. I’m very proud of you. (I won’t talk about the 2 pieces of cheese cake I ate over the last 2 days…It got the better of me, but now I’m in charge of it!) Enjoy your family time!!
Fran@ Broken Cookies Don’t Count recently posted..WIAW~~The Merry Christmas Edition!

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9 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Thank you Fran! And from what I read, you stayed in control too, nice work :)

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10 Living, Learning, Eating December 28, 2011 at 7:29 am

I’m glad this Christmas went better and I hope all is okay with your family! :)
Living, Learning, Eating recently posted..A Breakfast Sundae

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11 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Thank you!

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12 Lauren @ What Lauren Likes December 28, 2011 at 7:59 am

Great eats! Woah! Quite the dessert recipes! Hahah happy WIAW :)
Lauren @ What Lauren Likes recently posted..After Christmas

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13 Laura @ LauraLikesDesign December 28, 2011 at 8:03 am

I agree–Rice Krispie bars are so simple yet so delicious! Have you ever put m&m’s on top? Super good!
Laura @ LauraLikesDesign recently posted..Events of Christmas Eve

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14 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:26 pm

I havent… ought to though! I am sure that is a good combo!

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15 Alexandra December 28, 2011 at 8:11 am

I love that pic of you with your baked goods, it looks like you got some tasty homies haha ;) Those rice krispies just made me swoon too, I can’t resist the holidayness!!!
It looks like your Christmas dinner was outta this world too, can I come hide under your table so you can feed me scraps? :D
Hope everything’s okay with the family emergency, I’ll be praying. :)
Happy WIAW!
Alexandra recently posted..P28 Deliciousness

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16 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Hhahahaha I would love that! But you could also have a seat at the table :D

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17 Dorsa @ Running Thoughts December 28, 2011 at 9:01 am

Yummy eats :) I am glad you got to enjoy them with your family.

I prefer to cook, but I bake sometimes.. I am not as good at baking, mainly because I don’t have the correct ingredients most of the time. Seems like a bit of a hassle for me to go out and get the things I need.
Dorsa @ Running Thoughts recently posted..I take it back!

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18 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Ha yes good point Dorsa!

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19 Lisa @ Healthful Sense December 28, 2011 at 9:24 am

Looks like an amazing time home with the family!
And some amazing treats!! I’ve always wanted to make meringues but haven’t attempted to do so yet.
Love the pic of your pops… so handsome!
There are many dishes/desserts that I pass up during this time of year. Not for fear of getting fat but because I feel my best when I eat healthy.
Lisa @ Healthful Sense recently posted..Chobani Giveaway Winner + What I Ate Wednesday

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20 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Good point, that is something always to remember… healthy eating makes your body feel good!

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21 Victoria (District Chocoholic) December 28, 2011 at 9:24 am

I have nothing of substance to add, but that blue scarf you are wearing in the picture with all those baked goods looks great on you.
Victoria (District Chocoholic) recently posted..Cranberry Bark: Two Types of Chocolate and Two Types of Cranberry

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22 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Aww well thank you pretty lady

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23 Sarah - Feeeding Brain and Body December 28, 2011 at 9:28 am

That’s so great you got through the challenges, and enjoyed those family goodies during the Holidays. All of the things you made look delicious, I am loving the nut clusters, they look so fabulous! And your grandmother’s Yorkshire pudding looks amazing too!
Sarah – Feeeding Brain and Body recently posted..Pause the Life Train

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24 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Yes it certainly was Sarah!

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25 Emma December 28, 2011 at 9:41 am

I love all your baking creations!!

You make an interesting point that it is possible to separate your emotions from your actions. Although you might be feeling negatively about food at one moment or on one day, you just man up (or woman up) and push through it to get the fuel your body requires to function. Good for you, girlfraynd!
Emma recently posted..Turkeyface

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26 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Thank you for your thoughts Emma!

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27 Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries December 28, 2011 at 10:14 am

i’m so glad you were able to enjoy your Christmas and all of the eats that surrounded it, tessa!! it’s so nice to look back and know you were able to enjoy the holiday season. i’ve definitely had my fair share of those irrational thoughts and feelings around the various holiday meals the past couple years. this year felt much better! i still had some anxious thoughts and such, but it was nice to enjoy the food moreso than i have in the past.

your treats you baked look so delicious! i agree with you about the rice krispie treats – they’re so simple, yet so yummy! i love the sprinkles you added too! i love baking and cooking pretty equally. i used to always prefer baking, but since i got married i’ve really started to love cooking too!
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..WIAW {What I Ate Wednesday} #14: Best Meals To Help Cure A Food Hangover

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28 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:47 pm

I am so so glad that this year was better for you Ashley! And Yes definitely simple but full of flavor :)

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29 Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food December 28, 2011 at 10:29 am

I want some of that antipasto!!

I’m thinking about you and your family and hope everything is okay. xoxo.
Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food recently posted..WIAW: Trying to Get Back on Track Edition

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30 Kelsey December 28, 2011 at 10:39 am

SO GLAD to hear you tried some of your “fear” foods! :) WAY TO GO GIRL!!!

I prefer cooking. For some reason, most of my baked goods just don’t turn out right! haha
Kelsey recently posted..Best of 2011

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31 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Thank you Kelsey :)

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32 Tara December 28, 2011 at 11:22 am

Way to go!!! I think you did awesome this christmas, even if illogical thoughts were there. It seems like you did what you could this year, and knowing you survived this year means you can do even better next time. It’s a process! I couldn’t choose the best thing I ate.. savory would be potato salad just because I love it! I don’t think I could choose a sweet. Probably a chocolate toffee cookie or a chocolate buttercream truffle!
Tara recently posted..WIAW if I could only have 10 foods…

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33 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Potato salad is such a classic and tasty meal…. nice choice

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34 Maria @ Beautiful Busy Bee December 28, 2011 at 11:26 am

I’m so sorry about the family emergency you mentioned. I hope that it will get sorted out.

That’s great that you didn’t let ED thoughts destroy your holiday! Pretty much all I ate on Christmas day was a chai latte while opening presents, eggs and sausage and fruit salad brunch, and peppermint bark, cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels (at least the pretzel part is healthy!) until dinner, when my family too had a rib roast!!! I’m with you, it’s good stuff. :) It’s amazing that you were able to bake that much in one day alone. My mom and I started the Christmas baking a week and a half before the big day!
Maria @ Beautiful Busy Bee recently posted..WIAW + WIRFC

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35 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Well it was two days, but I was in the kitchen for soooo long! Next year I will start a few days earlier haha

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36 Anna @ The Guiltless Life December 28, 2011 at 11:32 am

That pizza looks sooo good! And you are quite the baker, I’m super impressed! Btw love that top you were on Christmas – so sparkly and festive :).
Anna @ The Guiltless Life recently posted..Christmas Recipe Round-Up: Part 2

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37 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Thank you Anna!

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38 Paulina (One Smile Ahead) December 28, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I’m so glad you tried the foods! I did try some things I wouldn’t normal have as well :] So I was pleased with myself. I love all the baking creations you’ve got going one here! Those Rice Krispies are so adorable. I prefer baking too, but I cook a lot more often. My baking also doesn’t quite turn out sometimes, so I can’t consider myself a baker yet haha.
Paulina (One Smile Ahead) recently posted..Traditional

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39 Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie December 28, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I love how you baked all those yummy treats! I’ve only made a few desserts so far this break so I think it’s time to get back in the kitchen :P

I’m glad you didn’t let those ED thoughts consume you this weekend. I didn’t want to let them ruin my Christmas either so I did my best balancing healthy things and things I love to eat. I ended up having pasta dishes two nights in a row, but they were both so delicious and healthy that I didn’t feel any guilt! But the best thing I ate would either have to be chocolate and peppermint froyo topped with raspberries or mini raw pecan pies–I have such a sweet tooth ;)
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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40 Debbie (Accidently Delish) December 28, 2011 at 12:26 pm

keep pushing yourself hun, i know you can beat this! i found that baking really helped me this year. because as i get more healthy, i am losing my restricting abilities. scary and good at the same time. but after baking (and sticking my finger into every batter) i woke up the next morning and guess what. didn’t gain a pound. please remember to tell yourself that those negative thoughts are NOT REAL. they are ED trying to make you miserable and he can not succeed!

I am very proud of your progress and hope you continue to move forward. i can tell you it was so refreshing to eat my plate of stuffing and mashed potatoes, and i enjoyed every single bite! but you are right, it’s about family too. and remember your family loves and supports you regardless!
Debbie (Accidently Delish) recently posted..By: Debbie

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41 Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile December 28, 2011 at 12:30 pm

You are such a little chef / baker!!! Everything looks amazing! I am so glad that you enjoyed yourself and tried a bit of everything. You are getting there girl :D

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42 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Thank you Brittany! Getting there, slowly but surely :)

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43 Allie December 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I like baking better than cooking :) mostly because I like to eat the dough haha.

I love seeing everything you bake, it all looks so great!

My favorite Christmas treat was chocolate coconut cream pie :)
Allie recently posted..Christmas eats

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44 Michelle @ Blogitness December 28, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Your holiday treats look amazing — I’m excited to try the meringue recipe!
Michelle @ Blogitness recently posted..Antibiotics are Heaven Sent!

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45 Cait's Plate December 28, 2011 at 1:34 pm

All of your Christmas goodies look AMAZING! I would’ve been all over those candied nut clusters!
Cait’s Plate recently posted..Gym –> Breakfast –> Work

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46 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Yes they were certainly a hit!

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47 Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table December 28, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Congrats on a more “normal” Christmas! Everything looks so tasty – I’m glad you enjoyed it all. :)
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Strip Mall Chinese + WIAW

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48 Chelsea @ The Nut Butter Runner December 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I hope you work everything out with your family emergency! I know how much that sucks, having had one major and one minor in the past month. Great eats though! I’m glad you could say SCREW YOU to the ED and enjoy your meat. :) Your cookies look suuuuper delicious.. I’m going to try that meringue recipe soon because they’re naturally GF. Yay! I love to bake.
Chelsea @ The Nut Butter Runner recently posted..WIAW Numbah TWO!

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49 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Oh yes Chelsea I know you understand… thank you for your support!

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50 Kiah December 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm

You are a baking queen! Hope everything is okay with the fam.
Kiah recently posted..a merry merry merry merry Christmas

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51 Alaina December 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm

One of my absolute favorite meals for Christmas growing up was my aunt’s tourtiere. It was a recipe from my great Aunt Gil; minced pork pie with a seasoning of cloves in a flaky crust. Served with a side of…potato chips. :-P The best.
Alaina recently posted..Half at the Hamptons – Week 4 (and a Virtual 10k)

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52 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:54 pm

AHh that sounds like the quite the comfort meal :D

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53 Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse December 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm

It sounds like you did so, so well… don’t underestimate how far you’ve some because although you might not think it’s perfect, it’s a million miles from where you were last year and you’re well on the way!
And you were a baking fiend, it all looks so good! My mum made some nut clusters like that this year and I made the most of them :-) A traditional meal for us is my mum’s Christmas Eve fish pie; it’s out of this world!
Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse recently posted..Christmas Eve

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54 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm

You are right Eleanor, it is important to remember that I have come a long way and to count those victories as well :)
That pie sounds veryyy interesting miss!

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55 CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com/ December 28, 2011 at 3:53 pm

the white beans dish looks so good!! and i am really glad, even though your christmas wasnt perfectly free of anxiety (really, whos is?!) that you enjoyed yourself and did try to reframe your thoughts. You are amazing at showing the true road to recovery and how difficult it can be.
have a wonderful new years hun!

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56 Julia December 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I have everything is okay with the family!!

Wow look at you! You’re quite the baker! I would have never been able to bake all that..looks way too difficult haha..but kudos for you being able to do so :) Next time, I am coming over for some of those glazed nut thingies..they look delicious!
Julia recently posted..workout wednesday #3

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57 Julia December 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm

*hope
Julia recently posted..workout wednesday #3

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58 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Thank you for your kind words Julia! Everything is better now… well to an extent!

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59 Laura @ LauraLivesLife December 28, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I really appreciate your honesty – I always struggle with any eating occassion – whether it’s a restaurant or just a family meal, and still either feel deprived or over-indulged! It’s a daily struggle for me, and one I think that I might always struggle with! Glad this holiday was so much better for you!
Laura @ LauraLivesLife recently posted..It’s Wednesday Already?

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60 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Nooo I refuse to always struggle with it… we can get through it :)
Thank you for stopping by Laura!

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61 Jessica December 28, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I love the holiday rice krispies….they are so cute and festive! Everything looks delicious!
Jessica recently posted..WIAW: The Post-Christmas Edition

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62 She Rocks Fitness December 28, 2011 at 6:06 pm

This is the first time I’ve read your blog and despite your negative thoughts, I’m glad that you were able to enjoy the time with your friends in family, because in the end that is what matters. We women can be so hard on ourselves. Sometimes you just need to let go, enjoy life, enjoy good food, and be thankful! I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday evening! :)
She Rocks Fitness recently posted..WIAW + Burning It Off

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63 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Thank you for stopping by and your encouraging comments :D

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64 Ty December 28, 2011 at 7:34 pm

1) I’ve never suffered from an ED, but I definitely have those typical “guilty” feelings after eating lots of rich foods. No fun. I am very impressed with you for challenging yourself!

2) I don’t celebrate holidays, but we do take advantage of all of the great food sales going on! Prime rib is my absolute FAVORITE and we had that this weekend. Mmmm soooo good.

3) I am having family over this weekend and very excited to make lemon cheesecake, blackberry pie bars, soft gingersnap cookies, giant double chocolate cookies and chubby hubby truffles. Maybe more things if I have time.

4) I love both, but I think I am more successful at baking.

5) Can’t choose between prime rib, pozole and flan!

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65 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Hi thankyou for stopping by! Wow you are making such great stuff! Seriously all of those dishes sound fabulous… care to share any of the recipes? :)

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66 Turtle-speed Runner December 28, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Hope your dad is doing OK now!
Well done on a successful Christmas :)
Some delicious eats there too… I like the look of the meringue cookies.
Yorkshire pudding… yeah, I haven’t touched that in a long time!
Love the photo of you and your mum!!
I didn’t really make huge headway this Christmas… but I did eat a chocolate truffle, and I had a tablespoon of chocolate mousse. Lol. But last Christmas I binged on like 1000 calories of chocolate and purged it, so it’s definitely a better year this year!!! Especially as that same chocolate was available again…
Turtle-speed Runner recently posted..Merry Christmas!!

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67 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Thank you for your well-wishes lady!

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68 caloricandcrazy December 28, 2011 at 8:52 pm

I love the random dough ball in your oats! :)
caloricandcrazy recently posted..WIAW #3

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69 Chels December 28, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Most of the holiday food around us this weekend was somewhat healthy…crab legs, chicken breast, fruit, roast beef, veggie trays. There were some dessert trays, but lucky enough I am not a huge sweets person..now if it was a big bowl of cereal or chex mix, I would have had my hands in it the entire time. I love oats in the morning, I never get sick of them!

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70 Amy Lauren December 28, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Those Rice Krispies Treats with the holiday sprinkles look especially delish! I may have to make some of those, hehe. I definitely prefer baking over cooking, in fact I rarely cook at all but I love to bake. The only thing I’ve baked lately was pumpkin white chocolate chip muffins, though, that was before Christmas… looks like you had a great time celebrating and lots of great eats too, I hope everything is okay with the family emergency <3.
Amy Lauren recently posted..Merry Christmas- From our home to yours!

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71 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Well those muffins sound rather ideal, so works for me :)

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72 Lena @Fit on the Rocks December 28, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Wow! You were a baking fiend! I much prefer to cook because I can be less precise with it. Thank goodness I have friends who enjoy baking ;) Glad you go to enjoy bits of some amazing food!
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73 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Good point cooking is more about taste and adding this and that :)

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74 Kristabel December 28, 2011 at 10:03 pm

I can’t believe that I haven’t tried putting pumpkin in my oatmeal yet. It seems like something that I would die for, but it just hasn’t appealed to me haha.
I am so so so proud of you for fighting the ED voices and dealing with the discomfort, better days ahead!

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75 Corinne December 28, 2011 at 10:25 pm

That antipasto salad looks amazing, I think I’ll try it out this weekend!
You were a baking fiend this Christmas – good for you! Hope you can try out the biscotti some time and let me know how it goes!
Great job on pushing those disordered thoughts out – i had a tough time too but enjoyed all the eats in the end!

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76 tessa8m December 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm

I am glad that you enjoyed your holiday despite some of the thoughts, good job Corinne :)

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77 Ashley Pomes December 28, 2011 at 10:33 pm

I love pumpkin oatmeal. It is my favorite way to have oatmeal and that Kale salad looks amazing. I need to make that soon.
It is great that you were able to overcome your thoughts. This weekend I was not as lucky. I did enjoy all the food I made but felt guilty so I didn’t enjoy it as much as I would have liked. I did eat desert this weekend so I consider that to be an accomplishment.

For Holidays pancakes are a tradition and struffoli. I love helping my mother makes those. Being Vegan though I made my own version of pancakes and did not attempt the struffoli.

For the holidays I baked Black Bean Brownies and Butter Bean Cookies, which were like chocolate chip cookies. The best things were the brownies. so good.

My baking was a success but I prefer cooking. I get anixety with baking afraid I will mess up because withing baking you need to be careful with the ingredients but baking is growing on me.

Best thing I ate this past weekend was hands down the brownies. So good and I had left overs :)
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78 Hollie@lolzthatswim December 28, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I’m glad you were feeling this Holiday. You did really well. I really think you are on the way to improving so much Tessa! I love the kale idea. I have been eating more kale than necessary lately so I’m always looking for new ways to try it.
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79 Sarah December 28, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Looks like you had a wonderful Christmas! And way to go on ignoring ED (to the best of your abilities) and challenging yourself!
Sarah recently posted..I’d go fat for that

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80 Rachel @ Eat, Learn, Discover! December 29, 2011 at 12:39 am

I’m so glad you had a good christmas! So many good eats and recipes for one post, i love it all.
While I do eat what one would consider normally, it puts me in a really bad mood when I don’t get enough green or veggies. The eating in secret thing was really bad for a while, but this year was better already.
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81 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Yes that puts me in a bad mood too Rachel!

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82 Qi Ting @ A Dessert Diet December 29, 2011 at 5:54 am

So happy to hear that you managed through Christmas well, by countering your negative thoughts!!! :D Hopefully, those monsters will be gone before next Christmas!
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83 Stephanie December 29, 2011 at 7:47 am

A few days ago I was so full that I thought I’d never want to look at a Christmas treat again. Except…now that i’ve read this post, I’m totally craving a rice krispie treat. Ha! I’m glad you enjoyed your Christmas feast!

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84 Kate @ Chasing It December 29, 2011 at 10:07 am

Once again, SO happy you were able to say “suck it, ED” and enjoy this amazing feast!! I bet your family noticed and were all super proud of you (regardless of whether they told you or not). I hear ya on needing the veggie dishes to balance out the pasta though – I mean, that’s a balanced meal! lol. I insisted on making a salad to go with our ravioli on christmas day, but definitely enjoyed a small portion of the good stuff! And oh gosh those cookies. no duh you had to try some, those all look delicious! especially the meringues and the minty chocolate ones!! I made it a point over the weekend to 1. enjoy a mug of one of the hot cocoa packets I got in my stocking and 2. eat a cookie every day. Such a terrible life I live hahaha. Hope everything’s ok with your family too btw!
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85 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Hhahaa terrible life indeed ;) Enjoy your blogging break too girl, I am thinking about taking one… I am just not feeling it right now

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86 Liz @ Southern Charm December 29, 2011 at 10:38 am

My favorite traditional foods for Christmas: my mawmaw’s twice baked potatoes (same as Thanksgiving) and her divinity. Slurp. I want to rewind and enjoy some more!!

I just to LOVE to cook, but lately I find more joy in baking. There is something about the mindlessness of measuring things and throwing them into a bowl that calms me.
Liz @ Southern Charm recently posted..Flourless Fudge Chocolate Chip Cookies

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87 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I know what you mean Liz! And if you do the ingredients correctly, it always turns out right :)

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88 alyssa - fashion fitness foodie December 29, 2011 at 10:52 am

Looks like you had a wonderful Christmas…. You made so many goodies!!
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89 Allie December 29, 2011 at 11:10 am

Oh wow everything you made–and others made–looks so amazingly good, genius to put the xmas sprinkles on the rice krispie treats, makes a simple dessert seem fancy (your grandpa is adorable, by the way–he looks exactly like the sort of grandfather that would have a family-famous antipasto :) ). So glad you could put most of your fears aside and do your best to enjoy it!
Allie recently posted..Growing Up Over a Year

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90 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Thank you Allie! He will appreciate such a nice comment :)

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91 Sarah (Every Day's a Picnic) December 29, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I can answer one of those questions straight away – I definitely prefer to cook than bake. Baking scares me a bit and I lose patience, but I can spend hours lovingly cooking something savoury. I love sweet treats, but I would much rather that someone else cooks them for me!
I really like the look of that antipesto – that’s a great tradition! We don’t really have a special dish that we have every year, although we usually have the traditional turkey and Christmas pudding for dessert.
Sarah (Every Day’s a Picnic) recently posted..Silencing My Inner Scrooge

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92 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Well those sound like lovely traditions to me :)

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93 Lauren December 29, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I definitely am a baker. All of your baked goods look awesome! I never made meringues either, I’m nervous about them because of the egg whites. Plus, I have a hard time keeping the oven door shut. I’m so impatient!

Glad you conquered all of your fears and didn’t let your bad day ruin the rest of the Holiday season! ED thoughts are almost inevitable but taming them is what matters, so proud of you!

Unfortunately, I’m at your “bad stage” with not eating what the rest of the family eats. Oh well..
Lauren recently posted..Highlight of Christmas…

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94 tessa8m December 29, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Ha they can be a challenge but if they turn out right…so so good! And light :)
I am sorry you are at this stage… I shall be emailing you back soon girl <3

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95 Michelle@Peachy Palate December 29, 2011 at 6:57 pm

I’ve suffered from all of the same anxieties and so far this has been the best year yet. I was always in to baking and never ate anything I created…I now love both cooking and baking and make sure to eat a portion of whatever I make. Well done on overcoming so many anxieties and fighting through the holiday season, it ain’t easy. It’s the knock to the routine that’s the hardest part!
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96 Sophie @ LoveLiveAndLearn December 29, 2011 at 7:17 pm

You’re amazing.
That is pretty much all I can say Tessa!
Go you for battling so hard and I really think you triumphed!!
All of your eats look amazing and I’m glad you were able to enjoy a lot of the food :-)
Christmas is definitely one of those times when I struggle most, I’m really not a fan of the photo I put up of me because all I can focus on is my arm looking fat, but I don’t let it get in the way of the lovely time I had with my family!
Much love to you <3
Sophie @ LoveLiveAndLearn recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday No.21 – Christmas Edition

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97 Michelle @ Oats n' Bows December 29, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Wow you were a beast in the kitchen! Look at all of those baked goods! I’m so glad that you were able to have a great Christmas!

I’m totally a baker. Not that I don’t love to cook, but the oven is more my place.
Michelle @ Oats n’ Bows recently posted..Books on Food Writing, Food Photography and Blogging

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98 Vanessa December 29, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Glad everything is ok. I saw your tweet and I prayed for ya. Anyways, all the food looks yummy and great job on drowning out the fat thoughts. You are so beautiful!! I have aquestion. I have been wanting to get a perm bad!!! Is your hair naturally curly? I’m asking cause I notice it’s straight some and curly some days. It’s so pretty. I have super straight extremely blond hair and I’m wanting to begin 2012 with curly hair. :) I hope 2012 is a yr you kick ed to the curve!!

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99 tessa8m December 30, 2011 at 7:19 am

Hi Vanessa! Thank you for your thoughts :)
And I am blessed with some good hair because I can wear it both curly and straight! it is naturally curly and when I scrunch it with mousse and some gel, it keeps it shape very nicely. But then I can also straighten it too! That is one thing I can say I have always loved about myself, my hair haha. At least there is something! I don’t know much about perms, but I have had some girl friends who have gotten them and looked great after! Let me know what you decide, I am interested in hearing! :)

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100 Haley @ Health Freak College Girl December 29, 2011 at 11:28 pm

i hope all is okay with your family!
Haley @ Health Freak College Girl recently posted..it’s a new year

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101 Corrie Anne December 30, 2011 at 12:07 am

That is a LOT of good food to look at!!!! I love all the cookies!!! We have this white chocolate cherry pie that we have EVERY Christmas. And eggnog. I baked a ton! Now I’m sugared out for a while!
Corrie Anne recently posted..Turkey, Stuffing, & Cranberry Paninis + The Answers to the Questions

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102 tessa8m December 30, 2011 at 7:17 am

Mmm that pie sounds wonderful! I am on sugar overload too!

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103 Kat December 30, 2011 at 9:48 am

this week was NOT good for me in terms of food. That old ED reared its ugly head, and I must say it beat me up pretty good. BUT, Im back home now and ready for a fresh start. Im starting today with lots of fresh juices to flush out all the junk I consumed, along with all the worry, stress and anxiety! I’m looking forward to a solid workout with lots of sweat.
P.S. all those goodies look amazing!
Kat recently posted..Home Again

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104 Steph @ StephSnacks December 30, 2011 at 10:28 am

What a fantastic Christmas! I baked up a storm, too. It’s so good to be a place where you don’t have to ‘save’ all of your calories for a certain meal in the day. I used to do that and would wind up getting severe headaches and become incredibly lethargic. It’s just not worth it.
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