WIAW- One Year Later

by tessa8m on March 7, 2012

in Blogging,What I Ate Wednesday

Wow my dear friends, I am (nearly) speechless!

I know I open most of my posts like this, but I honestly could not begin today’s post without first acknowledging your words from Monday. Even though there are times that I feel as if no one could possibly understand what I am thinking and going through, well I am proven wrong. Perhaps I am physically alone all of the time, but emotionally? Not so much, I have all of you out there, and a few readers reminded me of this yesterday. Thank you for reading and taking the time to show how much you care!

Also, JENNY, thank YOU for writing such kind words about me on your blog yesterday! I saw that people were being referred from there and what a delight it was to see what you had written. Made me so very happy :)

I meant to mention what I am about to say on Monday, but that post was going on wayyy too long already, so it was moved to today! March 5th was my One-Year Blogging Anniversary! (capitals are clearly needed ;) ).

Well, what a year it has been and it’s almost hard for me to truly believe that I began Amazing Asset 365 (err 366) days ago! I started it without a clear understanding of where I was even going with the blog. In fact, I found my first few posts to be rather superficial, as i was trying to fit into the “blogging mold” I had come to find through my own experience of reading HLB blogs. All I knew at that point was I loved the community and wanted to become a part of it, beyond a silent reader.

I do want to reflect on well… my life in the past year- the progress, set backs, accomplishments, lessons, challenges, fears, and realizations. But today is not the day for the mental reflection, the emotional side of my existence for the past 366 days. So how about the physical and more specifically, the food component?

Today is Wednesday and thanks to Jenn, we are all able to showcase our eats in anyway we see fit through What I Ate Wednesday!

I have personally found I form my WIAW posts around how I am currently feeling or what I am thinking about. Today I feel it’s appropriate to look at my eats from one year ago and to show myself and all of you the progress I have made, the changes in thought patterns that have occurred, and the overall improvements that are evident.

I started my blog on March 5th 2011 but didn’t actually write a WIAW post until June, as it’s something that took me a few months to catch on to. However, I remember quite clearly what I was eating at that time in my life, like down to every morsel…. thank goodness for the strides I have made with my daily intake of food. Even in the few months between my first POST and first WIAW, there was a vast improvement.

I have talked before about what I used to eat during the darkest days, but what about in the very beginning of my recovery and the creation of the blog? At that time I was very aware that I needed to make changes but just did not have the power in me to do it…yet.

When I started to write this particular entry, I found myself looking at my past posts and noting the food content part of them. There was never a time that I would document my daily eats other than on WIAW, and that did not begin until June. However, I did mention several doubts I was experiencing, rules that could not be broke, and various other food-related issues, all with the underlying theme of anti-weight gain… nooooo, can’t do it!

It’s odd to think that one year ago I was about 15 pounds less than I am now…

For today’s What I Ate Wednesday, I am going to reflect on the way I thought about and consumed food one year ago… and how how, thank goodness, times I have changed, heck I have changed, and am continuing to heal.


When I was home this past weekend, I tried something new on the griddle,

Green Monster Pancakes (such a weird idea I know) inspired (and pretty much the same thing) by Stuft Mama’s recipe! So dang healthy, and honestly… tasty! Into the blender went:

  • Medium banana
  • Handful of greens (I used spinach and kale)
  • 1 tablespoon of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tablespoon chia seeds (you could use an egg or flax)
  • 1/4 cup rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup egg whites
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • Cinnamon to taste- I am obsessed with cinnamon so I poured it in.

Blend it all up, poor on griddle and enjoy!

I managed to get three medium size pancakes and one small one, and layered 2% vanilla Chobani in between each pancake. With a few more dashes of cinnamon and even a squeeze of legit maple syrup, while I had one hearty, nutritious and filling meal.

Now allow me to reflect on this meal. One year ago, I opened up here of my mortal fear of eating breakfast- I would only eat an apple and about a pound of carrot sticks to sustain me until lunch, around 2 or 3 pm. I HAD to save calories… I mean what if I get hungry at night and don’t have enough calories in the bank!? Just eat right? Pshh, no way man.

At that point in May of 2011 I was eating breakfast, yet it was really not until a few WEEKS ago, that I am mostly okay with this meal… the trepidation still lingers to a certain extent. The disorder really ingrained itself in my head on this one, and while their is a hesitation with eating too much too early, I notice that every.single.time I do this, the urge to eat like a mad woman by the end of the day is so much less extreme.

One year ago, I would NEVER had eaten a meal like this, let alone for breakfast! You would have had to strap me down and force fed me. Oh and this was consumed at 9:00 am- 500 or more calories before noon?! Am I crazy?! Nope, I am healing and it’s normal.

I returned to school later that day and enjoyed the rest of my eats there…


No need to go into much detail on this one as it goes along with what I said above. I took in maybe 150 calories from when I woke up (7 am most days) to “lunch” time (2 or 3pm)… there was no way in hell I would have a mid-morning snack. Madness I tell you!

Now though I do! And instead of feeling faint before lunch, I am still hungry, but no longer ready to chew my own arm off. To tie me over…

My most favorite popcorn- Popcorn Indiana (original Kettle Corn to be specific) and a serving of dark chocolate almonds- oh lawd are those tasty. Gosh there really is a story behind every single item in this post! Sugary popcorn that I often can’t control myself around? Not even allowed in the house. Almonds? Just no.

And now I enjoy both of these items on a regular, if not daily basis…


Whether or not it’s related to my eating disorder, I have a salad for lunch pretty much daily. It used to be that I absolutely had to make at least one meal vegetable based because calories from any other kind of food would make me fat. A majority of them had to come from items like spinach, peppers, cucumbers, mushrooms… raw vegetables. Oi vey.

So for the past several years salads have been my go-to, but what is in them has changed… for the better of course.

This was an image from the other day… Spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, cucumbers- the “safe” vegetables, but here is the kicker- a glob of full fat cottage cheese and TWO eggs with the yolks! Oh and then I topped the entire thing with several handfuls of walnuts sans measuring?! Who am I? This kind of salad has actually been the norm for awhile now and it provides so many wonderful health benefits for myself, plus it tastes fantastic.

Now let’s back up.

A year ago, in the beginning of this blog, salads were my thing, but what was added was crucially different. It was either non fat cottage cheese OR egg WHITES, never ever both… oh and the yolk? Forgettaaaaa bout it. How about a fat in there? Back in March of 2011, I understood how important fats were, but actually consuming them was a whole different story. So a year ago, I would put maybe a teaspoon of olive oil, or 5 walnut halves on top and call it a day (thinking this was too much already).

No wonder I am horrible stomach aches all of the time, none of the roughage was being absorbed! A serving or so of wheat crackers I brought with me were also eaten… I was pining for a salty crunch.

Snack #2

My next meal was consumed around 5:00 pm… a time where I used to chug a diet coke, coffee, or tea in order to “fill” me up until dinner. God forbid I eat even more calories before my precious dinner- the meal I have been “saving” up all day for!

Apple + almond butter:

There is so much to this simple combination of nutritious foods… especially Justin’s Maple Almond butter. The very first time I tried almond butter was almost EXACTLY one year ago and it was this kind, from a small to-go package like this (no where ready to buy a whole jar), and it was paired with an apple.

I remember that night so well. I knew I needed the fats, the recovering me was strong that night so I decided to just sample this almond butter that I had seen everyone eating all over the blog world. So why not me? When the flavor finally hit me, I was seriously numbed by how amazing it tasted… so rich, flavorful… almost too good, scary good. I found that I could not stop, I had to keep tasting it, and before I knew it, the small envelope was gone.

I was beyond guilty and after seeing how much fat I had just consumed (18 grams, nooo!) I freaked out, texted my mom, who reminded me how much I needed this essential nutrient. FATS. It did take some time to get used to regular amounts of fats, but now I consume them no problem… although I am not precise, I know I have way over 70 grams per day.


Well you all now know that I eat alone on a regular basis… and of course that means dinner too. What and where I now eat dinner is actually a major change from one year ago. In fact at this time in 2011, I was still eating dinner with my track team, as I was a member then, but I was so limited in the dining hall with what I was willing to eat.

I didn’t want another salad, as I physically could not handle the roughage, and most of the food from the main line was covered in oil and/or butter. No way, I just could not do it. So I would usually eat an entire melon (they always offer spears of honey dew/cantaloupe), dry cereal and err… that’s it. I was still in a place that I desired to be social and maintain my connections, yet I simply refused to eat any sort of normal amount of food there.

And now on most nights I eat alone. I have what I want, when I want to, and in the environment that makes me feel comfortable. I know this is the ED to an extent, but as I talked about on Monday, it’s just the way it is right now, regardless of where it’s stemming from.

This was something I threw together before leaving home, knowing it would be perfect for part of my dinner.

Sort of an overnight oats concoction! Rolled oats, fiber one cereal (always conscious of my fiber intake now because of the iron supplements TMI-yep), peanut flour, peanut BUTTER, pumpkin, vanilla soy milk, and flax seeds. So random, so good, but looks so narsty :)

Now that I reflect on this dinner, well what a random assortment it was! On that note, I had a few slices of deli turkey and grapes that were also brought to school.

Not my picture of course (I forgot to snap one :( ) but this was the basic look!


Ha.ha.ha. what a “funny’ thing dessert used to be. How about 1/2 cup of Kashi or other high fiber cereal? Maybe a fistful of grapes and bang, dessert! Gahhh no. I have since amped it up,

York Peppermint Pretzel Sandwich Dips- woah. A few of these and so many cravings are solved! Chocolate? Check. Salt? Check. Mint- Chocolate (seemingly obsessed)? Check. Sugar? Check. Crunch? Check!

These were pretty much amazing but also difficult for me to have around. These are the types of snack-food that I could definitely binge on and feel awful about it after. While one year ago I had the extreme will-power to resist anything, well that will only last for so long before your body starts to rebel.

Of course though, I am trying to normalize my relationship with food again, and by keeping items like this around, enjoying a serving and putting them away, well I am one step closer to this goal.

It’s pretty extraordinary to really sit down and analyze how much I have gone through, how many changes have been made, challenges that have been overcome…. all in the past year. Although I just looked at the food portion of the last year, my mental attitude has changed as well, otherwise the improvements seen here would never have happened!

I had to be ready to take on the discomfort of changing up my eats, gaining weight and all of that. But it continues to be worth it and that is the thought and realization that I must continue to internalize and reflect on when I am feeling like giving up.

At this moment, I am far from perfect but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop striving to reach that point.

-Have you changed the way you eat in the past year? Gone vegetarian for example? Had to give up gluten? Taken on a more nutritious life-cycle? Share anything, negative or positive!

-Where were you in your life one year ago? Are you content with things now, or are you looking for a change?

-If you have a blog, how long have you been blogging for? Just over a year now :)

-How long did it take you to find your “blogging voice?” Several months for me!

-What products or new recipes have you tried/made lately that are worth noting? Those pretzel dip things… go get some now, I’m tellin ya!

-And of course, what is the very best thing you have eaten in the past week? Seriously, those green monster pancakes are a winner for me.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I look forward to reading all of your lovely blogs today :D

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{ 153 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lyn @ FueledBySalad March 7, 2012 at 4:56 am

Happy anniversary! One year. :D Those spinach pancakes look amazing. Seriously, you should be so proud of yourself for coming so far within a year.
Lyn @ FueledBySalad recently posted..WIAW #7 and a buckwheat breakfast.


2 Vien @ We Dare Food March 7, 2012 at 4:59 am

First off all, HAPPY BLOG-ANNIVERSARY!! Secondly, congratulations on your amazing progress! Congrats to the stronger person you are today! You’re breakfast looks really yummy! and very green!!
My eats have definitely changed since last year. Last year, I was still a vegetarian. I wouldn’t touch chocolate. I wouldn’t touch rice or noodles. And worst of all, I was proud of it because I thought that I was being ‘healthy’. What a difference a year makes! Like you say, I’m not perfect as well but hey! that’s life right? It’s about the progress we make and the journey we take for the better!! :D
Vien @ We Dare Food recently posted..Banana Yogurt Bread


3 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I am thrilled for you Vien and your progress! It always is about the progress :)


4 Heidi @ Idlehide March 7, 2012 at 5:39 am

Congratulations on one year! I just found your blog about a month ago now, but you know I am a faithful reader now:)

Ummm, those pancakes are amazing. I’m going to have to give them a shot! Keep up the great blogging:)
Heidi @ Idlehide recently posted..6 best foods for runners


5 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Aww thanks Heidi! Yes give them a try, quite tasty :)


6 Kat @ a dash of fairydust March 7, 2012 at 5:47 am

Happy belated blogiversary,Tessa! :)
And CONGRATULATIONS to the amazing progress you’ve made since last year – you can honestly be so proud of yourself!
I also changed my eating habits during the past year,and it has definitely been necessary… One year ago,I was eating MUCH too less and MUCH too “controlled” (I know,many people wish for more control when it comes to eating and stuff,but there’s also something like too much control,but I am sure you understand what I mean!) – which made me end up being hospitalized two month later and passing the worst time of my life in the hospital with a stomach tube. I never,never,never want to get back to that point again – really,it was so awful!
After that,I told myself I HAD to change something,but of course,I restricted my eats again pretty soon and yeah… great. Lost some weight again,but as no one was checking my weight anymore,it was “not a problem” for me at all.
Although,I was definitely unhappy and well aware of that what I was doing there was total crap. What really made me change my mind and woke me up was my intership at the hospital because I realized I wanted to become a nurse after school and of course,therefore,I NEEDED to be stronger and healthier – I NEEDED to change my habits and gain weight!
When I was offered an apprenticeship in December then,I almost panicked because I knew I couldn’t procrastinate any longer… The time was too rare for doing so! So I tried to eat more,get out of my habits and bla… I fell down and got up again,and still,it is a hard fight,but I am a bit proud of myself at the moment since I am eating “better” than anytime during the past five years.
Oh my,I am talking too much… Sorry! Anyways,have a great day,lady! :D
Kat @ a dash of fairydust recently posted..Alive.


7 Alexandra March 7, 2012 at 5:53 am

I’m kookoo bananas for your green monster pancakes, they’re making me drool over here heehee and apple+almond butta? You just can’t go wrong ;)
It’s so neat to see what a difference a year can make. You should be so flippin proud of how far you’ve progressed! It’s been quite an adventure with some bumps here and there, but just knowing you’re on the right track to success is so exciting!! Keep up the great work, I can’t even begin to imagine the awesomeness you’ll have achieved this time next year! :D
Have a gorgeous day lovaaaaaaaa <3
Alexandra recently posted..Embracing the cavegirl within!


8 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Weee thanks missy.. your comment never cease to make me smile :)


9 Kaitlyn March 7, 2012 at 6:31 am

The Green Monster Pancakes look amaaaaaazing!!!!! I’ve made a similar recipe before, but I definitely want to try yours!
As you know, I do have a relatively new blog (started January 15, 2012!)….and I think I”m still “searching” for my blogging voice….was that ever frustrating for you? Finding you “blogging” voice? Because i definitely have days where I feel a little “stuck”.

CONGRATS on how far you have come! What an amazing year :)
Kaitlyn recently posted..Dreaming


10 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Yes Kaitlyn it has been frustrating at times, for sure! But for me, I just have always wrote from the heart and with complete honesty, so I guess I accidentally fell into my blogging voice. On that note, I do post randomly sometimes that are not part of the “voice” so it’s really writing whatever you are interested in and enjoy talking about!


11 Khushboo March 7, 2012 at 6:35 am

Happy anniversary Tess! I am so glad you find your blogging voice, and am sure that’s why you’re blog is successful- you are real and relatable too! Congrats on such a remarkable transformation: change is not one big thing, but the sum of many little things and this is just proof! All your eFforts along the way, big or small, have contributed to something huge! I hope you’re proud of yourself, I know I am :)
Khushboo recently posted..Body For Life: The Eats


12 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Well thank you :) That was rather nice for me to read


13 Krystie March 7, 2012 at 7:06 am

Congrats on your one year blogging! I love reading your post keep it up :) Btw those pancakes look awesome I’ve never seen green monster pancakes, thanks for adding the recipe!!
Krystie recently posted..Busy Beautiful day


14 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Let me know if you ever try them!


15 HollieisFueledByLOLZ March 7, 2012 at 7:06 am

Happy 1 year girl. I actually am going to blog about green pancakes as well for zee holidays!

Anyways-you have really made a transformation since this time last year and I love following along! :)
HollieisFueledByLOLZ recently posted..Blogging VS Real Life


16 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I will have to eat them again on st pattys day!


17 crista March 7, 2012 at 7:27 am

Amazing to read!!! Great job – hard work has definitely paid of girl! I can actually “hear” in your words that you’re enjoying and living life so much more then before!!!
crista recently posted..Life


18 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Thank you Crista… it has been hard work that’s for sure!


19 Sarah @ feeedingbrainandbody March 7, 2012 at 7:33 am

Congrats on the one year blogiversary!! I Think mine is coming up soon too haha. This is such a great reflection post on how far you have come. My eating has definitely also changed since I first started blogging. All for the better of course because it led to improvement in mood, concentration, and running! Those pancakes look so amazing, I love green things :)
Sarah @ feeedingbrainandbody recently posted..Plain and Simple


20 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Well that is certainly inspiring to hear Sarah! Great job with your progress as well!


21 Gen March 7, 2012 at 7:42 am

Whohoo!!!! Happy blogiversary and congrats on the progress!!!! I’ve definitely progressed this past year as well…though there are really still tough days!!!
Also, I really, really wish they sold thos york pretzel dipped things here…..holy CRAP they look good! :D
Gen recently posted..Easy, Yummy Onion Rings


22 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Tough days for sure.. but remembering the progress helps to push through those!


23 Amy @ Turtle-speed Runner March 7, 2012 at 7:57 am

You? Speechless? hehehehehe…. never! But I hang on your every word, in hopefully a non-creepy sort of way….
I had to laugh when you mentioned 5 pm and chugging down diet coke / tea / coffee…. I so did that every single day!!
Those pancakes look TO DIE FOR. I was actually going to make green pancakes on the weekend but couldn’t find green dye – duh, why didn’t I use spinach?! I might actually ‘borrow’ this recipe…
Hmm… how have I changed over the year? A better understanding that eating unhealthy sometimes is OK, and isn’t the end of the world.

As for my blogging voice… I’m still looking. I’m still really hesitant and “scared” I suppose of what people think to really say what I want… and terrified of people I know finding it and judging me. The problem is I know saying what I really think will help me get closer to other bloggers and holding back means I feel more distant.

Progress, though – I say what I think in comments on other people’s blogs!
Amy @ Turtle-speed Runner recently posted..Not very green at all…


24 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Borrow the recipe, yes please! I would love to hear what you think about them
You should open up when and if you feel comfortable! It would of course be counter intuitive to reveal information that causes even more anxiety for yourself


25 Healthiful Balance March 7, 2012 at 8:02 am

Yay for you! You have come so so far since you started blogging! <3
Healthiful Balance recently posted..Fitterati Blogger Awards


26 Fran@ Broken Cookies Don't Count March 7, 2012 at 8:09 am

Tessa!! Big Congrats on your one year of blogging!! I felt so accomplished when I reached one year! You should be proud of yourself for that and for so many other things you’ve accomplished during this year. I’m so proud of you! The pancakes look delicious too, I need to try them!
Fran@ Broken Cookies Don’t Count recently posted..WIAW~Getting Into Green


27 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Well Fran thank you :D


28 Lauren @ What Lauren Likes March 7, 2012 at 8:09 am

I need to try those pancakes! Happy One Year girly :)
Lauren @ What Lauren Likes recently posted..BAM!


29 CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com March 7, 2012 at 8:13 am

Congratulations on your blog-iversary!
I am so proud of you for so many reasons. You truly are inspiring because although there was a time when I was doing much better at incorporating things that scared me, increasing my calories, etc. I am sadly kind of falling off that wagon. You really do help, though, showing that a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman, can totally do the “right” things on the path to recovery and be even more awesome because of it.
Thanks for being so honest!
CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com recently posted..WIAW: The Breakfast Challenge


30 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Aww CJ I know you have been struggling recently and all I want to tell you is NOOO stop please! Although we both know that of course it’s soo much easier said than done! Please keep working toward health CJ, what we both know is best for you


31 sasha March 7, 2012 at 8:16 am

I noticed these 2 articles on binging that show that your idea of “binging” is not actual binging…it is REACTIVE eating

- http://www.gwynetholwyn.com/blog/2011/10/4/weight-recovered-and-still-bingeing-now-what.html

- http://www.gwynetholwyn.com/blog/2011/9/14/why-is-bingeing-not-bingeing-when-you-are-recovering-from-re.html

Trust me: I binge. I really binge.. I can’t get comfortable with food (despite desperate to gain weight) because of bad stomach problems and I’m not exercising. How the hell do I become comfortable with gaining with my sit on my bum all the time? And there are girls in blog land who are super duper skinny working out all the time? Makes me mad.


32 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Hi Sasha,
Thank you for posting those links, I will have to check them out. It does feel like a “binge” to me, because I feel like I cannot stop sometimes. Perhaps it is mostly physical, but I know it has to do with emotions as well. Try not to look at other blogs like that.. I know that it’s so easy to compare and get mighty pissed, trust me I have been there. But just stay away for now, and also, who knows what kind of eating issues they are dealing with themselves!


33 Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin March 7, 2012 at 8:39 am

Happy 1 year blog birthday! :D

This was such a great way to look at how far you’ve come – you should be soooo proud of yourself! <3 Over the past year my eating has changed a bit… I find I eat more real food and less processed vegetarian foods than before. I enjoy food a lot more for the flavours and experience now whereas before I just wanted to eat healthily. It's a nice change!
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..WIAW #28: Eating it all up


34 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:35 pm

that does sound like such positive changes Chelsea, great work :)


35 Emma March 7, 2012 at 8:48 am

Such an interesting and thorough post, Tessa! It is always astonishing to compare where we were and where we are now.

I love that you put fiber one in your oats- That was my go-to mixture until I discovered oat bran, haha!

It’s such a difference in perspective when you’re still conscious of your food intake, but for such different reasons. I wouldn’t go back for anything in the world!
Emma recently posted..Shades of Green


36 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Does oat bran help you with errr digestion just as well? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to though haha :)


37 Emma March 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Haha, I think that it does help, but Fiber One is more intense I think. So going from Fiber One to oat bran probably decreased my daily fiber.
Emma recently posted..Shades of Green

38 Becca March 7, 2012 at 8:52 am

It’s great to see the way that–in just a year–you have made so much progress! This got me thinking about my old habits too, and it does make one feel better to realize there HAS been improvement!

Also, your new mindset is benefiting me as well because you are giving me some great food ideas! :) Green monster pancakes (perfect for St. Pat’s)! York pretzel peppermint thingies? I must try both!


39 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I am so happy that you have made progress with reflection as well! That is just so fantastic Becca


40 Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health March 7, 2012 at 9:09 am

Oh I love you Tessa! Happy blogiversary!! That is so exciting that you’ve been blogging for a year :). I’m so happy that you blog, because well I love reading all of your posts and connecting with you! I would say that I have definitely changed how I’ve eaten over the past year. I branched out a bit more and tried eating healthier foods in new ways – which is good because sometimes I get really bored just eating a salad haha. Hope you have a fantastic day love!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Easy and Healthy Turkey Chili


41 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I am so glad we have connected through blogging Lindsay, and it will be even more glorious when we meet up in MAY! Must do this, no if ands or buts haha :)


42 Amy Lauren March 7, 2012 at 9:13 am

I’ve been blogging since 09, but it’s a personal blog and I go through phases where I write a lot and phases when I don’t. I guess I just started really becoming a part of the blogger community about a year ago. And, I find it ironic that your blog began on my wedding day. LOL.

Those pancakes look so cool! How awesome for St. Pat’s coming up, green pancakes :). I’ve never seen those pretzel things though, but I did get some regular pretzels the other day that are good. I’m not a huge fan of peppermint patties but those look interesting, needless to say…

So glad to see how far you’ve come in the past year :).
Amy Lauren recently posted..One Year Later…


43 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Oh wow I didn’t know you had a blog since then! Your anniversary is a bit cooler if you ask me :)


44 Kat March 7, 2012 at 9:23 am

congrats on the 1 year!!
I have some green monster pancakes that I make too that are SOOO tasty! I just love them. I actually had completely forgot about them until I saw your post so thanks for the reminder lady!
Kat recently posted..First WIAW of March


45 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

The first time I saw green pancakes was on your blog!


46 Lisa ♥ Healthful Sense March 7, 2012 at 9:39 am

Congrats on your 1 year blogiversary Tessa!! You are amazing… the way you sort through your thoughts, your honesty, your writing!! You inspire so many people and you’re only getting started =)
Lisa ♥ Healthful Sense recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday: Apple Pie Pudding (gluten-free + vegan)


47 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Thank you Lisa!!


48 Alex March 7, 2012 at 9:41 am

This is such a beautiful entry, just to see so many of the wonderful changes you have implemented in the past year. Each time I read your blog I get inspired to start my own, I think over my spring break this year I am going to start one. It will be a huge growth step but reading your entries make me realize how much sharing your story and reflecting can be for the better. Keep up the great work and ps your eats look delicious!


49 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Hi Alex, thank you :) If you feel motivated to and that it could enhance your life for the better, I say definitely start a blog!


50 lindsay March 7, 2012 at 9:44 am

you should be MIGHTY proud of how far you’ve come as a woman/blogger/health advocate this past year. Thank you for letting us in on that journey.
lindsay recently posted..Victory in the Land of Long White Cloud


51 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Well Lindsay, on that note, THANK YOU for your blog as well.. never ceases to help me/inspire/motivate me in some way :)


52 Marijke March 7, 2012 at 9:51 am

Your eats all look fantastic today, but those pancakes??? AMAZING! I need some green pancakes in my life!
Marijke recently posted..WIAW #16


53 Dorsa @ Running Thoughts March 7, 2012 at 10:07 am

Wow Tessa, look at the amazing progress you have made in a short years time! I am so incredibly proud and happy for you :) Keep it up!
Dorsa @ Running Thoughts recently posted..Come on Spring!


54 MC March 7, 2012 at 10:08 am

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Although I don’t comment every day, I truly do read your blog daily!!! You and your posts are just so encouraging and inspirational! You truly have made such significant progress, more than most would make in years!!!!!

THe pancakes look fabulous and I just pinned them so that I can try! Like you, breakfast has always been the toughest meal for me to change and challenge myself on– it’s amazing how our ED voices trick us!

I’m curious about your change in exercise habits over the past year too. For me, food has been easier to add and change than my exercise routines. What do yours look like now and how many rest days are you/supposed to be taking? I’m not sure if we’re similar in this regard, but it seems like the weight I’m gaining is more due to inreased food rather than due to decreased exercise (which was always a fear if I took a rest day). Based on your experience, would you agree??

Happy Wednesday!! Congrats again! MC


55 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Thank you MC, it’s been a tough year to say the least, but I see the benefits and that keeps me going :)
I will definitely do a bit more on exercising habits in a later post.. I have a wholeee lot to say on it, but don’t want to go into a major long ramble in the comment section of this one haha. I will be answering your questions though and I appreciate you asking them!


56 Bethany March 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

Green monster pancakes…genius! I’ll be giving those a try soon :)
Bethany recently posted..Green Drinks, Kale Chips, and Homemade Larabars


57 Bethany @ Accidental Intentions March 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

It is so wonderful to see how much progress you’ve made in one year! As I’ve said lots of times before, I really do appreciate your openness and honesty, and I think it really helps put your recovery in perspective. Congratulations on that and your one year blogging anniversary! Exciting stuff :)
Bethany @ Accidental Intentions recently posted..Blown Away


58 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Thank you Bethany! :)


59 Colleen March 7, 2012 at 10:19 am

Happy Blog Anniversary!! I’m so grateful that you are blogging in your “true” voice. It is so beneficial for me to read your posts as well as all the comments. Keep up the good work!! I am eating the EXACT same today as I was a year ago. No changes in anything. Yikes.
I will say that my food allergies get worse and worse every year. Every year since I’ve been 2 the allergies get worse and yet another large food item has to be eliminated from the diet.
No new eats here, but congrats on your major accomplishment!


60 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Do you want to make some changes to the items you eat? I am just curious because if you do, then I CHALLENGE you to try something completely new this weekend! Freak yourself out, and I promise you, you will come out on the other side healthier in every possible way :)


61 Ashley Pomes March 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

Congratulations on the year! Its wonderful to see the changes you have made.

-I have changed the way I eat from last year big time. I used to have a 100 calorie yogurt and call it lunch. Thinking about that scares me. I cannot believe that I used to consider that a good healthy lunch. No I never do that. Lunch is around 300 at least. Also I have become vegetarian and moving more toward becoming Vegan. I feel like this change helped me a lot. It made me look at my eating habits and what I needed for my body to run properly. It also made me look and see that I should add more nutritious foods to my diet not just low calorie “fake” food.

-In a strange way sometimes I am not content with where I am now. I know I am in a better place because I was really hurting myself but at the same time I was so unaware of it that I did not have the same worries I do now. Now I am worried about gaining weight because I am increasing calories for weight maintenance and I worry that I am not treating my body right or things like that. So I am liking the change and I know it is what I need but at the same time I miss some of the less worrysome life I had a year ago but I know I will never go back.

-I have been blogging since November so not a year yet. I feel like since I am new I am still finding my blogging voice. I kind of just let myself write and what comes, comes lol.

-I haven’t really tried any new products really. i am trying to use everything I have in my house because I tend to be a food hoarder and buy lots of things lol. Best recipe though was my green protein oats that I kind of made up this last week lol.

-Best thing I have eaten this week was my green protein oats because the green just gave it a different feel haha.
-Happy WIAW. Keep up the great work. :)
Ashley Pomes recently posted..WIAW #18


62 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I am absolutely thrilled to hear how far you have come in the past year! I do believe that it’s “okay” to not be perfectly “okay” with where you are now… with that in mind, you can make the changes or at least reflect on what could make you happier in the future!


63 Michelle {lively kitchen} March 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

Such an inspiration! You’ve come so far and think where you’ll be this time next year if you stay at this pace….

I love your openness and willingness to share. You’ve got a wonderful blog voice – so humble and motivating – and I’m glad you’re in the blog world.
Michelle {lively kitchen} recently posted..WIAW – What I Ate From Other People’s Food Blogs


64 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:21 pm

This is a good way of saying what you did… I will be in an even better place next year if I choose to continue making the effort to improve! So so true


65 Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

i have so much to say about this post i don’t even know where to start! first of all, congrats on one year of blogging! woohoo! and wow girl, you have come SUCH a long way in a year’s time! you’ll be where you want to be in no time. ;) you should be so incredibly proud. my eating habits have definitely changed for the better over the past few years. i can look back to each year within the past 5 years and see some sort of improvement. just in this past year, i’ve really done so much better on just eating REAL foods. i used to focus so much on the low cal and low fat foods that consuming real foods wasn’t even a thought of mine. also, how did you make that “overnight oats concoction”? is it cooked or did you just put everything in a bowl and put in the fridge overnight? sounds delicious to me! have a wonderful day girl! you deserve it! ;)
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..WIAW {What I Ate Wednesday} #24: My Favorite GREEN Meals


66 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Ashley, thank you for your lovely comment! That is great that you have made such an improvement as well and that you are proud, as you should :) And the overnight oats thing was just placed in the fridge overnight! Ha I just put ingredients that I love in a bowl that usually work in oatmeal/cereal, stirred it up with milk and hoped for the best. Turned out great, but looked rather gross :)


67 Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

Woohoo happy blogiversary !!!! You have come so far and have so much to be a proud of Tessa! Don’t ever forget how awesome you are :D
Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile recently posted..WIAW-Small and Frequent


68 Anna @ The Guiltless Life March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

Happy blogiversary! I am super proud of you for how far you’ve come. I didn’t read you back at the very beginning as I hadn’t found you yet (!) but I read the link to your What I (Used to) Eat Wednesday…that was a brave post for you to do for sure. I’m so glad you are on such a great path now, you deserve major kudos for that!
Anna @ The Guiltless Life recently posted..Hot Yoga Survival Tips


69 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Anna, thank you for that.. I should remember the progress, it helps during the difficult times


70 Melissa March 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

Wow. Amazing! I have recently gone into a more structured eating plan: 3 full meals and 2-3 snacks. It’s been tough, as you know. You seem so healthy now! I can definitely relate to limiting myself to 400-500 calories during the day to “save up” for dinner. I still struggle with eating real healthy salads vs. salads that just have fewer calories. But I’m so inspired by everything you’ve done for yourself. The hardest part for me is eating and not feeling guilty. Since I’m doing the structured eating, I find myself thinking about food all.the.time, which completely freaks me out. And I know I’ve gained weight (in part because I can’t run), but it’s not something I’m comfortable with–yet. I know I’ll get there, but right now, I just feel giant! I’m looking forward to getting to a place where I feel more confident with eating normally like you are! This just shows me that I can get there. XOXO
Melissa recently posted..My Little Prodigy


71 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I do understand the guilt issue… I feel it too, like all of the damn time! I love that you put that word in here… yet, so powerful and strong of you! You will be okay with this and still be gorgeous Melissa :)


72 Nikki March 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

Happy happy birthday! I am so happy to see what a wonderful transformation you have been making. And we must be twins because I had the exact same packet of maple almond butter with an apple for a snack last night! Also, those pancakes are awesome! And would be perfect for St. Patrick’s day :)
Nikki recently posted..Lovely Day


73 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm

That almond butter is pretty much unbelievable :) And yes, I will have to recreate them for that holiday!


74 Laura @ LauraLikesDesign March 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Ah, I had the worst nightmare ever when I started iron supplements in January. I was super bloated for a month and finally realized the culprit when I went to the doctor to figure out what was going on!
Laura @ LauraLikesDesign recently posted..Honeymoon Part IV


75 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I am glad you found what the issue was!


76 Laura Agar Wilson (@keephealthstyle) March 7, 2012 at 11:26 am

Happy blogiversary! I’ve been blogging for over two years now which I can hardly believe! I’ve changed so much, I’ve became veggie, and now mostly vegan and most importantly I’ve learned to love my carbs and fats after a long time of being a protein shake junkie. I still love my protein powders but I balance them with whole food sources as well as lots and lots of carbs and fat! Those dark chocolate almonds sound amazing!


77 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I am so glad you have made a number of healthy changes Laura! I know it is hard sometimes, but keep pressing through the challenges :)


78 Liz @ Southern Charm March 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

Happy One year!! Isn’t it amazing how much changes over a year?!

This time last year, I was a pescetarian and eating healthy, yet small meals 3 times a day. Now I eat everything, still try to stay healthy and eat 5 meals a day.

And I’ve been blogging just under 7 months and I still don’t know if I found my voice, but at the same time … that’s what makes things exciting for me :)
Liz @ Southern Charm recently posted..Sharing The Love


79 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I like that way of looking at it… who knows what will come along next? :)


80 Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table March 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

Happy Anniversary!!! I am so impressed by how far you’ve come. You are amazing!

In a little over 2 years of blogging my life has changed so much. I went from a beer-guzzling, burger-eating weekend warrior to living a MUCH healthier lifestyle. I’ve even been eating vegan for over a month and am lifting more weight than ever before! blogging has changed my life for the better and I’m so grateful to have found other awesome bloggers like YOU! :)
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Packable, Healthy Lunches + WIAW


81 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Aww wow Laura thank you for your kind words! How awesome that you have changed for the better as well and are able to reflect on it :)


82 Kianni March 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Around this time last year I was still gaining weight, but basically eating the same as I am now, in terms of types of foods, though I was eating more, and too full, but knew it was necessary as I followed the meal plan I was given in an out patient place to the letter. Eventually, when I felt like I’d “gained enough”, I started cutting back, just to a normal size of proetin, etc. instead of the bigger filling weight gain size, things like that. It was weird for me, becuase, since I’ve been sick, my mom would make me eat beyond fullness, and I equated not being stuffed with not eating enough, which causes(d) anxiety of my mom blowing up and getting mad at me. That is one of the main reasons I am not able to restrict my food, at least, when I’m not traumatized and scared by something; I fear my mom finding out, getting mad, but not JUST that, but makes me anxious and scared becuase I’ve done something “Wrong” and can’t stand it. It’s good and bad in a way 8/. For three months last year I had a job taking care of a man and he paid for lunch and dinner and we ate out practically twice a day, every day. However once I quit, my food went back to how it is now. I can deal with food being different if someone else chooses, but for me to do it of my own voalition does not work. I can’t explain to myself why I’d want to try something else that isn’t “normal” for me. However since I don’t like going out and usually don’t, it doesn’t happen ofter. Not to menetion how guilty I feel about spending money on food, especially to eat out.
As far as life, I am a bit less anxious than I was last year, I think, however I’m still doing the same things..except last year I had classes, this semester I didn’t get any! Gah…
I originally started blogging to chronicle my experience through and IOP program..but then had to leave because insurance wouldn’t pay, and $35 a day was still alot. However I can’t say I didn’t mind, althought I enjoyed the groups, I didn’t like the attitudes and philosophies of most of the staff..which obviously wasn’t gonna work. Now however, I am glad I didn’t stay becuase I think the enviroment was somewhat toxic in it’s own way of keeping you sick..It’s weird, thinking back to how you once were of felt, becuase for me it’s seemingly embarassing, always. My feelings from back then, the sickness…
Kianni recently posted..Me and exercise part 1


83 Rachel @ Eat, Learn, Discover! March 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Happy 1 year bloggiversary! It’s amazing to see how far you’ve come in only one year. Seriously you should be extremely proud of yourself – and use it as motivation to just keep pushing!

When I started my blog in June, I had almost *no* intention of talking about my struggles with food. In fact, it took starting a blog and reading lots of recovery blogs (yours included!) to get me to realize that I had a near-obsessive, unhealthy relationship with food. So for that, I owe a LOT to the blog world :-)
Rachel @ Eat, Learn, Discover! recently posted..WIAW – Green Me Up!


84 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Oh wow Rachel, that is wonderful how much the blog world has helped you out in understanding your own habits that needed a change :) May I ask, was there something in particular that triggered you to understand this, or was it just through the reading of other blogs over time?


85 MassachusEATS March 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Congrats on 1 year of blogging! :)
Delicious looking eats, as usual!
MassachusEATS recently posted..WIAW #8


86 Michelle (Peachy Palate) March 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Oh my god happy one year blogging anniversary! Massive milestone! :) Green monster pancakes…seriously possibly my favourite breakfast. I have a vegan version over at mine! :)
Michelle (Peachy Palate) recently posted..Green and Vegan


87 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Yumm I will have to check that recipe out Michelle!


88 Michelle (Peachy Palate) March 8, 2012 at 1:20 am

Here’s the link…not sure if it will allow me to post it…:) here goes… http://peachypalate.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6010771
Michelle (Peachy Palate) recently posted..A New Bean

89 kaila @ healthyhelper March 7, 2012 at 1:30 pm

“Am I crazy?! Nope, I am healing and it’s normal.” LOVE THIS!!! Amazing progress girl! Seriously! I can tell not only through your change in eating but your writing voice and words how far you’ve come! You are an incredible individual! I am so impressed by your abilities for self reflection….something i definitely lack! You are always able to think out negative or counter intuitive thoughts before acting on them…I applaud you for being able to do that and self evaluate before giving in to the ED. Keep it up Tessa!
kaila @ healthyhelper recently posted..Hey its WIAW!


90 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Wow Kaila thank you!!! Such kind words girl :)


91 Margarita March 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Oh my goodness, those healthilicous green pancakes would be so perfect for St. Patrick’s! Wholesome and delish without food coloring. I love eating oatmeal, granola, or cereal after dinners too. I think it’s the best dessert… never any guilt feelings afterwards!
Margarita recently posted..Homemade Paneer Tikka Masala and Some Stories


92 Rach March 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Like you, my eating has changed incredibly this year. I am almost at my one year vegan-iversary! I originally made the switch in the deepest part of my ED in an effort to disguise my restrictions with a “healthier” and more “conscious” way of life. It’s funny because I feel like making this switch ultimately began the process of me digging myself out of my disordered habits. I started reading blogs- especially yours- and doing research about the vegan lifestyle. I learned how food really effects my body and became more conscious of all the things it needed that I wasn’t giving it.
Rach recently posted..WIAW #5


93 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:51 pm

That is great you are getting to a healthier state through research and such! It’s interesting, when I went “vegetarian” it allowed me to get even more sick because like you, I could disguise it. When I stopped doing this, I got much better! Whatever works to get better is great of course :)


94 sarah March 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

You are one fabulous, inspiring , strong and beautiful young woman Tessa!

I hardly ever comment , but I ALWAYS read and take in your posts, and I’m always left with food for thought. I particularly appreciated your last post- glad to know I’m not the only one who prefers alone time.
I hope you continue to fight against ED with gusto and share it with your readers, because I relate to a lot of what you’re going through and hearing your musings , thoughts & findings is fascinating to me:).

Happy birthday!


95 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Well Sarah I am so glad you did comment today, thank you for taking the time to read my blog, it really does mean a whole lot to me! You are so not alone with the “alone” thing! Me and several others out there are right along with ya girl


96 sarah@spinach and spice March 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

No, I have never met you (though it feels like we should know each other by person in now ha!) but yes I will always remember your blog after many many many years have gone by. You really were one of my saving graces in my deepest ED days Tessa, and I’m so glad you and Amazing Asset came into my life :D Happy one year anniversary, darling!

I just read this article http://www.marksdailyapple.com/do-perfect-foods-exist/#axzz1oNCSWCVC
and thought you might like to read it too :) it’s about the impossible search for the “perfect foods”.. some things we used to talk about all the time! Even healthy foods have flaws, that’s why no food should be completely off limits! Eat that almond butter girl, and enjoy those healthy fats ;) you’ve come such a long way in the past year, you have lots to be proud of!
sarah@spinach and spice recently posted..Lemony, Buttery.. Like Entenmann’s


97 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Thank you for posting that link! I am going to check it out right after I respond to your lovely self :) I am beyond honored to have helped you out, especially in your darkest ED days… wow Sarah, I am so so happy for you and that you are better! Thank goodness girl


98 Steph @ StephSnacks March 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Happy Blog-o-versary! Mine is coming up in May.. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Anyhow, I am always astounded of how honest you are in your blog. I don’t think, during my ED, I could have ever been this honest. I can now fully write open and honest feelings on StephSnacks, but it’s not while I am in recovery. You need to celebrate your forth-coming and how many people admire you! Way to go :)
Steph @ StephSnacks recently posted..WIAW


99 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Thank you Steph and I am so glad to hear you are now better too :)


100 Kaitlin @4loveofcarrots March 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Happy Blogaverary! Mine is in a few days March 16th!

Tessa, I truly hope that after you write your blog posts you walk away feeling proud of yourself! You have come so far and are able to talk about such tough times it is really something that takes a lot of courage and a truly admire you for this!

I don’t like pancakes but I am thinking I would like those! and I need to find those pretzels stat, I have a feeling they would last 2.5 seconds in my house!


101 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Woo yours is so so soon too! Yes get the pretzels, too good to not try :)


102 Alyssa March 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I never comment but just wanted to say… YOU ARE AMAZING, TESSA!


103 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Aww thank you Alyssa!!


104 Carrie @ MyHealthyAddictions March 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm

a little over a year ago I had am exam for life insurance. When the lady weighed me with my clothes on, I weighed 99 lbs. Wow, I was obviously needing to change. Since then I have gained 15 lbs and hoping to gain more (all muscle of course) . It wasn’t easy because I eat super clean, which meant I just had to eat A LOT of food. I was always eating, but I am sooo much healthier and happier now! :)
Carrie @ MyHealthyAddictions recently posted..Banana Poppyseed Pancakes


105 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Carrie, that is great to hear how far you have come and the healthy changes you are making and are continuing to make :) Keep it please!


106 Devyn March 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

wow what a powerful post. over the past year i have also gained a good ten pounds that i needed. when you mentioned the first packet of almond butter you ate, i remembered the night i decided to have peanut butter. this was after months of living off less than 900 calories a day and definitely not fat. i brought the jar to my room, i also like to eat alone, and completely pigged out on it because i was so amazed at how good it was and how badly i needed it!


107 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Ahh seriously I know that feeling Devyn… so scary when you need it and want it so badly, but ED is screaming NO!


108 Allie March 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

What a positive post–and awesome way to celebrate your blog-i-versary by seeing just how far you’ve come! It’s inspiring to me–and I’m sure to you as well!–to see how the little changes add up. And yummm, if there’s a better way to get healthy fats than Justin’s maple almond butter (or chocolate hazelnut butter), then I simply don’t want to know about it!
Allie recently posted..WIAW: Easy Being Green


109 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Okay so I have yet to try the hazelnut one…. clearly THAT needs to change!


110 Allie March 8, 2012 at 8:16 am

Oh my gosh, it DOES! You will have a new favorite, trust me :) Plus I think it comes in the little single-serve packs too, so you can sample without having to buy a whole (fairly expensive) jar first.
Allie recently posted..WIAW: Easy Being Green

111 Laura @ LauraLivesLife March 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Congratulations on your one-year anniversary! I know that in a year you’ll look back to see even more progress, and I am so glad you are sharing your journey with us!
Laura @ LauraLivesLife recently posted..Running, Reading, & Training Course Survey


112 Sarah @ Every Day's a Picnic March 7, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Congratulations on reaching your one year blogging milestone! Your blog is one of my favourites because you are so honest and I always come away with something to think about.
This post shows how far you’ve come. Although you are still recovering, your meals are so different to how they were a year ago and so much more nutritious and enjoyable.
I hope that you carry on blogging for many years to come :-)
Sarah @ Every Day’s a Picnic recently posted..Shopping, Clothes & Body Image


113 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Thank you Sarah :) Your blog is among my favorite as well…you are always honest and that is something I appreciate reading, especially because I am like that as well


114 Katherine March 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Happy blogiversary Tessa! :D I love this post because it makes me think about the point I was at last year too. How far we’ve both come!
Over the course of the past year, I’ve gone vegetarian for a couple of reasons. For one, after eating farm-fresh foods while I was studying abroad, I couldn’t go back to eating factory-farmed, super processed meats once I got home because of the taste. On that note, I despise the US agricultural system, primarily for the amounts of greenhouse gases and pollution it produces. Surprisingly enough, I eat a lot more food now that I’m not eating meat!
I’m much happier with where I am right now compared to where I was last year, but I know I still have a long way to go. The best thing I’ve eaten recently is a slice of peanut butter cheesecake, and man, there is a story behind that one. I’m not gonna share it here, but it was a very long struggle.


115 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I am sure an experience like that would change anyone’s eating habits! It’s good that you are making and continuing the changes in a healthy way
Umm pb cheesecake?! That needs to make an appearance in my life… on that note, I know there would be some serious emotions for me if I ate something like that. Emotions that I want to experience and overcome


116 Jentry Nielsen March 7, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Wahoo congrats on one year! What an accomplishment! Not only on the blog, but in your life as well :) Your blog is not only helping you to get your feelings and emotions out, but you are inspiring so many out there with similar ED thoughts as yourself! So I sure hope you do not stop anytime soon!!! :)

and p.s. those pancakes look delicious, so perfect for St. Patrick’s day!


117 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Thank you Jentry! I hope to keep blogging… I guess until I run out of things to say! Not sure when that will happen ha


118 billiejean March 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Congrats on one year and making improvements in your life! I never had any issues such as an ED, and this doesn’t have anything to do with it, but for about 6 months I was vegan, transitioning from vegetarian, and now, I am transitioning back to vegetarian for basic training in May, and it’s actually pretty difficult to mentally get myself to eat different foods because I haven’t had them in such a long time and the tastes, like some eggs or fish, (I know fish isn’t vegetarian, but, I use to like it). So to hear about how well you have improved with an ED, I know I can comfortably reintroduce “new” old time foods :)


119 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 8:06 pm

It is something to me as well! Making any sort of changes is always hard!


120 billiejean March 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

P.S I know that what I’m doing is nothing to what you have had to deal with, your a good example for me to follow! New foods won’t hurt me!


121 Julia @ girl with a stethoscope March 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Happy one year Tessa! Wow how far your blog has come! Your blog was actually the first blog I came across before getting totally caught up with the “blog world.” Your blog was the blog to inspire me to start my own. I thought “wow she is so open and honest, I bet I can be.” Although I lack the bravery that you do to be SO open about my struggles, I give you MAJOR props for being so open. I am glad that your blog exists bc whether you realize this or not, you are an inspiration young lady. Keep writing :)
Julia @ girl with a stethoscope recently posted..taking a stand against pro-ED websites


122 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Awww wow Julia thank you for telling this to me! I am honored to have inspired you to start your won marvelous blog!


123 Cinnamon Girl March 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Hey! Congratulations for one year plus 2 days of blogging. And for your progress in recovery. I can look back to two years ago or three and see the same thing, disordered eating. I, too, had salad-without-enough-other-things issues and snacks? I laughed when I read your comment about a morning snack. I felt the same way- like eating 6 times a day? Pshh! Now its just habit :) I’m glad you shared this because I can really relate. The best thing I’ve had in the past week..probably the latte I made for myself at work!
Cinnamon Girl recently posted..Review of Maggie Goes on a Diet


124 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Yess yay for both of us getting into such a healthy habit! I need to start making my own coffee drinks.. so much money is wastedddd with that minor addiction :)


125 ~Jessica~ March 7, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Happy ‘anniversary’ :)

I read your first WIAW post and I do see such a great deal of progress from then to now. And really, 15lbs in a year when you were coming from such a restrictive place isn’t a lot. I ended up putting on over 30, which I seriously cannot come to terms with. This is probably reflected in the lack of progress from my first WIAW, which this post made me take a look at. I’m still in exactly the same loop as I was then – not needing to eat more, but to eat less, and I’m still making (and complaining about) the same mistakes!

I’ve been blogging for three years now in various incarnations (yikes!) but it’s taken me over two of them to find my ‘voice.’ I censored myself a lot in the early days, which may or may not have been a good thing…

Love those green pancakes! Do you think it’s possible to make them without the egg whites?

~Jessica~ recently posted..WIAW – WIAAW


126 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:49 am

Hi Jess, I know you are struggling a bit now, but you are so aware of this… and we both know the importance of that!
You could probably make the pancakes with a chia or flax egg substitute!


127 Jen @ Whittle My Middle March 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Wow it’s always interesting to reflect on how far you have come in a year. It’s hard to see the changes day by day. You have done a great job!

I also just saved that Green Monster Pancake recipe. Looks fantastic!
Jen @ Whittle My Middle recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday: Green and Paleo Style


128 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Wooo I am glad you saved it! let me know if you ever give it a try!


129 Amy B @ Second City Randomness March 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Congrats on your one year! I’ve had mine for 3(ish) now, and it took a few months/breaks to find where I wanted to take it. However, even now I see how much it has changed since two years ago. It’s kind of nice to have something to go back to from time to time… :)
Amy B @ Second City Randomness recently posted..A Little Help From My Friends


130 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am

It really is nice to know that a blog and the community is always there for you!


131 chelcie @ chelcie's food files March 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm

happy 1 year!! I seriously love your blog and your posts are always so inspirational to read! My eating habits a year ago were definitely different than they are now..I am still really concerned with my food intake but last year I would never let myself slack off on counting calories or anything..like you said its a slow process but I’m not going to stop trying to make progress!
chelcie @ chelcie’s food files recently posted..WIAW-Raw Cookie Dough..and its healthy!


132 tessa8m March 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Persistence is the way to conquer this… keep up the great work Chelcie :)


133 Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie March 7, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Congrats on one year! I really really love this post, isn’t it so mind-blowing to look back on how far we’ve come?

Last year, I was pretty much vegetarian at school, because I hated the dining hall food, so I just ate whatever I could fit into my fridge and my room, which is the same as now. But at home, I still ate chicken and seafood on occasion. Now I’m mostly vegan and I’ve discovered so many new foods since then that have become staples, like almond peanut cashew butter, rolled oats and peanut flour! To be honest though, since I was keeping track of calories last year (and still am this year, sadly), I was eating more this time last year, maybe around 300-400 more per day than I am now. I haven’t opened up to this on my blog but I really think I need to, to show a more honest picture of myself (like I admire you for doing!) and to get advice for how to pull myself out of this slip. I don’t really fear ‘worse’ than I did last year when I was eating more but I do know it’s not a good thing. Anyways, don’t want to write a novel here, just wanted to share how things have changed within a year. I’ve definitely broadened my eats since last year, but I really need to work on the amount I’m eating.
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..WIAW: What I Want to Make Over Spring Break


134 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:51 am

I hope you do open up more on your blog, I really think it could benefit you!! And plus I would love to read and add support in anyway I can


135 Chelsea @ The Nut Butter Runner March 7, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Awesome post girl! Seriously, it is amazing how far you’ve come, and I know in another year you’ll go soooo much further! Happy one year blogiversary! I’m so glad you’re in such a great mental place right now. You are such a trooper! I am seriously going to try those green monster pancakes, but with oat flour. Within the last year, I had to give up gluten, apples, and peanut butter.. But I feel sooo awesome without them, and no hives! I’ve also been able to reintroduce some dairy, as my lactose sensitivity went down. I’m still trying to find my blog voice, but I think I’m working towards something. :)
Chelsea @ The Nut Butter Runner recently posted..Spring is here on WIAW!


136 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

I haven’t used oat flour before, but I want to give it a try! that is great that those changes have helped your health out so much!


137 Josie @ happycorredora March 8, 2012 at 4:52 am

Wow… your blog has grown so much for one year! Happy Blog-a-versary! I think you help a lot of people with your honest posts :)

I have been blogging for 4-5 months but I still feel I am finding my voice… kind of running/ healthy blog… but also personal stuff too. Still working it out!
Josie @ happycorredora recently posted..Scenes from a Japanese Wedding


138 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I am sure you will find what works for you… and also to remember that it is your blog and you can talk about whatever the heck you want to :)


139 Sara March 8, 2012 at 6:17 am

I’ve been looking for an easy pancake recipe and your Green Monster Pancakes sounds just delicious! I can’t wait to try this! :)
Sara recently posted..3D


140 erin @ Livelifeactive.com March 8, 2012 at 8:21 am

Happy one year! That’s a huge accomplishment! Keep up the great work! Also..those green monster pancakes look like they should be eaten on St. Patty’s day!


141 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 10:23 am

I will have to recreate them again for the holiday :)


142 Natasha March 8, 2012 at 9:38 am

Oh man what an awesome post Tessa! My diet has been all over the place in the past year – from eating hardly anything at all, to upping my food intake, then decreasing it again, then having some horrible binge episodes, to now giving up being a vegetarian. The part that I hate about diet is that there is so much info out there and so many conflicting points about what is and isn’t healthy to eat; sometimes I get so annoyed because apparently every food has something bad it in.
Foods I always thought were healthy, are deemed unhealthy by people (fruit is a big one – too high in sugar!).
Even vegetables in some cases – carrots (high carb), starchy veggies are a no no. And don’t even get me started on eating the WHOLE egg…hahah. It just can be some overwhelming at times.
One year ago, I didn’t know and/or give a sh** about any of this junk. I was finishing up my freshman year of college (well getting there) and I was eating healthy – salads WITH legumes (but now apparently those are bad too), whole grains, no meat, and fruits.
I was happy, but I was struggling with a five pound weight gain from winter, so I was just trying to get myself back in check to be healthy, but I was doing so in a completely normal way (the restriction didn’t start until the summer).
So basically, I can FOR SURE say I was happier a year ago than I am today! I went out more, was more social, less stressed, less confused, and more happy!
Looking into the future, I am trying to optimistic, but there are still really hard days, but that is just part of life! This summer I look forward to being happy, healthy, and whole again!
I hope you are feeling the same way as well and keep on rocking :)
Natasha recently posted..Follow up: Is vegetarianism a mask?


143 Kate @ Chasing It March 8, 2012 at 10:10 am

WOW this is incredible!! And so cool to see how far you’ve come from the very beginning of your recovery – I bet it makes you proud for sure. I myself often look back on what I was eating around this time last year (during a relapse) and what I ate my senior year of high school, when 400 calories a day seemed like too much….and its just insane!! You and I both are SO much better for the changes though – and regardless of how much work is left to be done, its so important to know and appreciate exactly where you’ve come from. CONGRATULATIONS on your “blogiversary” and on all this progress!! :-D
Kate @ Chasing It recently posted..Teaching Myself Perspective


144 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:59 am

We both really are much better… thank goodness! Thank you lovely lady :)


145 Yum Yucky March 8, 2012 at 11:07 am

happy bloggaversaryfication!! (spelling?? haha). The monstah pancakes look divine.
Yum Yucky recently posted..Not Doing These 8 Things? Your Fitness Will Suffer (warning: eye bleach not included)


146 tessa8m March 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Thank you!!


147 Christina @ The Athletarian March 8, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Happy blogiversary, Tessa!! I have so much catching up to do. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I have been following you for almost a year now and have witnessed you grow and conquer ED with so much power and determination. You are inspiring so many people out there and you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for being so awesome!

I hooe you are having a fabulous day and week!! I am totally making those pancakes, by the way!
Christina @ The Athletarian recently posted..I challenge YOU!


148 Simply Life March 8, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I think that’s a great pancake idea!


149 Sophie @ Love Live & Learn March 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Wow, a whole year, congratulations Tessa! I’m sure it has taken a lot of commitment and dedication.

You know waht? I am so so proud of you you gorgeous girl!!! You have cam so far and it really is amazing to look at the change :-) You deserve very much for things to well for you! I know you will continue to fight for recovery and that is so inspirational :-D

I am definitely looking for a big change, one I will announce quite soon on the blog! I started blogging about 8 months ago (can’t believe it’s already been that long!) and I still feel like I am finding my voice. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made though and I really love blogging! :-)


150 Katie March 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Happy 1 year birthday to your blog!

Wow, I am so proud of you for how far you have come eating wise in a year, you should be so proud of yourself too! Fats are good!! I always ate fats , but not enough as I found out the hard way, but I am working on that!!!

Love ya girl! Ahhhhhh I love your blog and how “real” it is! Never change it!
Katie recently posted..Diva ~ Approved


151 Brittany March 8, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Yay for one year!! I will be at a year in April! I found my voice pretty quickly, I wanted to make a point to really be myself on the blog to ensure that people were reading for me and not for someone I was trying to be. It took maybe a few weeks.

I need those york mint pretzel salty things.
Brittany recently posted..My Day With Manfriend


152 Zinedine March 9, 2012 at 5:03 am

Congratulations on your first year. Now you’re into unknown!!
Zinedine recently posted..You Cant Have Everything – Compromise


153 Maria @ Beautiful Busy Bee March 9, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Those pancakes are a good idea! You could also add some peppermint extract for a minty green pancake, maybe with some chocolate chips.
Maria @ Beautiful Busy Bee recently posted..Fancy recipes + Runway-inspired sets


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