I know the “blog rules’ (whatever the heck that means) we aren’t supposed to talk about the weather, as it’s an overused backdrop for a topic. But oh well. I mean goodness this week has been remarkably gorgeous so far, and it only going to get better! I even busted out the flip flops on Monday, read outside when I could, and am simply enjoying the spring-like weather as much as possible.
This week has also been a “breath of fresh air” in terms of my mood. Well, I have been in a rather good one these past few days and what a nice change that is. In all honesty, that last few weeks have been rough and this “new and improved” mood is a welcome change. You had better believe I am embracing the feelings as much as I can
Besides the influence of the lovely weather, my research is going well, I am keeping up with my work, I have been feeling slightly less fatigued lately, and as a result enjoyed a rather fabulous and refreshing run on Monday. I am still feeling the high... basking in it as a matter of fact.
And most importantly, Spring Break starts on Friday! I am not venturing anywhere except my glorious hometown, something that of course always makes me happy. However, when people have asked me what I’m doing for break and I respond with “home” well I generally receive a “WHAT?! But it’s your senior year, last chance, you had better live it up!” Now I understand people are not doing this with malicious intent but it is starting to bug the begeezus out of me.
It is true, I am not going anywhere, but honestly, I have no money, we all know about the isolation issue and lack of friends, and yeah, maybe I am a bit bitter too! In this situation I will revert back to the idea I discussed on Monday, a legit spring break is not what I need or can do right now, and that is OKAY.
Anyway sorry about the tangent, but just wanted to fill you in on certain aspects of my life with some venting thrown in there!
Now, as it is halfway through the work week after all, it’s time to showcase some recent eats (from yesterday) for What I Ate Wednesday! Dearest Jenn, thank you for hosting this once again, as it’s something I always look forward to participating in
I am constantly conscious of the food choices I am making, how I am eating, how I feel about it, what it is doing to my body, etc. As I said a few days ago, it is essential for me to maintain such a focus in order to keep myself in check with the whole recovery business. I have said this once and shall say it again, I desire to have a normal view and relationship/attitude with food and my body, and this can be achieved with practice, effort and determination.
As a result of the focus, I have been noticing some rather annoying, undesirable, or unfavorable habits, actions and choices that involve food/eating, that simply have go to go. I stick to these “habits” because (depending on what they are) allow me to have a sense of control over certain aspects of my meal… and yet they tend to backfire at times.
Okay so that was fairly vague, so allow me to explain myself through a What I Ate Wednesday post, habits, actions, and choices that provide nothing beneficial and even prolong the normalization of eating.
Typical bowl of cereal/yogurt with fruit to begin the day:
In the bowl: 2% Plain Chobani, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Oat Bran (switched it up at Emma’s suggestion!), raspberries, with vanilla soy milk mixed in to thin it out.
A perfect cup of Dunkin Donuts original coffee brewed in my room… half and half mixed in there as well.
Habit #1- I use artificial sweeteners… often. There I said it! Please do not lecture me on how horribly bad they are for you, I have heard this over and over. And yet, I still use them. During breakfast for example, I put a sweet & low pack (the worst one supposedly, yep), and another pack in my coffee- alright dang 1.5 packs in my coffee! They are also used in the sometimes-ice coffee in the afternoon as well, any time I have tea…
It’s something I am conscious of but find it VERY hard to break away from, I love my stuff sweet and don’t want to use sugar instead! I am aware of how much disordered eating plays a role in this, I desire to save calories from the sugar. Phew, felt good to admit that one. I am aware of this and plan to at least cut back. I really do not think I could go cold turkey on the artificial awesomeness.
Well I was PLANNING on having a mix of Kashi cereal and almonds… but then this happened,
Dang. I was running late to class that morning and didn’t have time to clean this up before rushing out the door… although I did manage a picture haha. So instead I went with a new-for-me energy bar that I picked up a few days ago at CVS for a buck:
Although not quite a Snickers bar, this was a particularly tasty choice! Not as “healthy” as other bars out there, so I would probably consume these less often than some more wholesome ones out there.
Habit #2- This has to go with the more mindful/intuitive eating thing I am continuously striving for… I eat bars like this way too fast. The above one for example, gone in maybe 2 bites. I used to fear energy bars, the calorie count and the nagging feeling of “wasting my calories” on them… and I suppose that fear still lingers to a certain extent. I can’t eat just a bite of one, put it down, wait, take another bite, wait, and so on. NOPE, scarf time.
I believe that it can be okay to eat as fast/slow as you want to, but this is something I personally want to work on. I can’t focus until that energy/protein bar is consumed, and well it’s annoying.
You are never going to guess! SALAD.
Never, ever will get sick of this combo. Well for now In this mix: spinach, mixed greens, red peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, cucumbers, one whole egg, two egg whites, a hearty dollop of cottage cheese… and olive oil mixed with lemon juice for my healthy fat source. No ketchup or nuts today, wasn’t feeling them.
I also had a hefty bowl of fresh fruit:
Honeydew, cantaloupe, and pineapple topped with Raisin Bran and some Quaker granola. I have said this before but yumm I love when the cereal gets softened by the fruit, but also when it sticks to the pieces! A nice additional flavor, texture and crunch.
Habit #3- Alright here is a major one for me, and actually applies to all meals of the day, and slightly hard to describe. Basically after each time I eat, I feel like I cannot conclude the meal until I have had a hard candy, quickly followed by gum, a habit at it’s very best! For one thing, I cannot stand to have food stuck in my teeth, so the hard candy (sugar-free/artificial sweeteners ugh) helps to absolve that issue… then I just have automatically have gum right after because I am expecting that mint flavor.
It helps me to stop eating once I am done with my food, and now I have set myself up that I feel very uncomfortable if I don’t have the candy right after! Obviously I do NOT want to rely on something like this, and plus it is a bit disordered as I feel I don’t’ have the will power to stop eating on my own…
Habit #4- I can’t not mention this one after what I just wrote- gum addiction. Yep sure am guilty of this one. It goes along with the stopping me from eating thing, well yes, that is exactly what it does. Part of this is also I feel the need to constantly have my mouth stimulating, as if i can’t just sit with my satiety, my fullness or my hunger and gum helps to distract. This actually has gotten MUCH better though- I used to go through at least a pack a day! (gosh it sounds like cigarettes ha)
My dear friends, time to get pumped for the product I found in Whole Foods the other day,
Earth Balance Coconut and Peanut Spread- Oh… oh yes! This is as good as you would imagine. The peanut flavor is there as is this coconut one and they mesh rather perfectly together! I paired a nice-sized spoonful of this with an apple for dipping (not pictured) great combination to say the least!
Habit #5- I always go back to the nut butter jar RIGHT after I am “finished” with my snack/meal. I have the serving size, enjoy it but then find myself sticking my spoon or errr finger back in for another scoop (or 2, 3, 4?!) Physically I should not care… as I know my body needs the extra calories, fat and all of that good stuff.
But it’s the habit part of this, the mentality behind the action that I am not a fan of. Goes right along with establishing normal eating, and all this does is make me very uncomfortable and that terrifying lack-of-control feeling. I am getting better and better at eating the number of calories I need, yet that *slight* binge/stuff myself feeling remains. I would like that to go away, please and thank you.
A plate of some various favorites,
Six-inch sub on wheat bread with turkey, provolone cheese (new found love +conquering a fear food= win), cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce and honey mustard. Baked chips placed within the sandwich of course, and randomly half an avocado on the side. I debated putting slices of the avocado on the sandwich, but I felt like enjoying this nutritious food all by itself…. well coated in salt and pepper that is
Habit #6- Now this is not a “bad” one necessarily, but I do feel a need to end the day with something sweet. Again, I am not saying this is wrong, but another habit I did want to mention. It’s a further example of some decisions I make that I feel very helpless to stop, and that is the feeling I am not a enjoying.
On that note, here is how I ended the day,
Gosh do I love this stuff, Trader Joe’s has so many products I enjoy, this is of course just one of the few. WF was out of the Popcorn Indiana I usually buy, so this was my next choice.
Habit #7- I just thought of one more that doesn’t have to do with today’s eats but happens A LOT. Sometimes I don’t feeling like making the physical and mental commitment to having a whole meal and so I snack instead as a way to avoid eating it… Oh and then I eat the meal after, therefore end up consuming much more than I had originally planned. Just throwing that last one in there, drives me nuts.
*For the record, I am not saying these are “bad” necessarily, I just don’t like feeling the compulsive need to engage in some of them, they control me sometimes, and some are used to eat less, stop eating and just all have to do with food. This annoys me!
And with that, this concludes What I Ate Wednesday… with some rather unfavorable habits I am hoping to break. At this point I don’t have an answer to them, or how exactly to ebb away from the ones I pointed out. However, I am conscious and am revealing what has been on my ind in regards to these. I always say this, recognition is the first step to making a change and although I am at the preliminary stages, I will continue to work toward what I want… in this case, free of the habits!
-Can you relate to any of the habits/actions I have here? If so, do they bother you as they do for me?
-What (if any) are some habits around food/eating/meals you want to change? What about ones beyond food?
-Do you use artificial sweeteners? Did you used to… how did you ebb away from them if you were able to?
-Have you tried that almond butter? If not, do so (well if you like coconut )
-When eating a certain snack like nut butter in my case, do you have trouble stopping yourself from going back for more? Where do you think this stems from, or what is the reason?
-Of course, tell me the best thing you ate/made/tasted in the past 7 days!
Thank you for sharing and have a great rest of your Wednesday! Half way folks