(Overcoming) Holiday Fears

by tessa8m on April 5, 2012

in Family,Recovery

Well now, you can’t be on my blog and not first read some thoughts from my last post and everyone’s reactions! As usual you all rock! In all seriousness though, thank you for not being “angry” with me, as it was something I feared. I understand that is is my blog, I can talk about whatever the heck I want to and all of that, but that still doesn’t mean I don’t care about your reactions and thoughts!

Anyone that reads my blog, comments or chooses not to, happens to stumble upon it at some random time, etc… you are ALL part of this process, and are going through it with me, whether you are able to relate or not. I am the most honest and open I have ever been in my entire life and this act has allowed me to progress and understand myself more than I thought possible. So course I am going to care how you feel as well, and it’s nice to know that you are all still here for me. Thank you.

I understand what I need to do as far as the eating and exercise thing goes and now it’s just a matter of DOING IT. All of the support I have here, from my family, friends, and therapists are not only beyond helpful but also necessary! When it comes down to it though, it’s my choice whether I want to live with this the rest of my life or not... It’s clear to me what the right choice is and again, now I just have to do it, as painful, uncomfortable and wrong it’s going to feel. Oh.flippen.well.

Alright enough with the profound mushy-gushy stuff! (I wrote this before writing the rest of the post.. more mushy-gushy coming your way!)

I am going home later today for Easter and have plenty of dishes I am excited to conjure up for the holiday! This year I am celebrating with my mom, brother, sister-in-law and her family and it shall be glorious!

As I have mentioned before, I am the most indecisive person ever when I am trying to figure out what I want to make/eat for certain meals- dinners and holidays being the most challenging. So on that note, here are some of the recipes I have saved and will narrow it down tomorrow when it’s actually time to create something! I am planning to cook/bake a side dish (salad) and a dessert….

Savory Options:

Kale and Butternut Squash Salad (I would sub in Kabocha squash here though!)

Spring Salad with Creamy Avocado Dressing (Whole Foods Recipe)

Mediterranean Crunch Salad (Whole Foods Recipe)

Sweet/Dessert Options:

Light Blueberry Cream Pie (from SkinnyTaste)

Homemade Fig-Newton Bars (these were a favorite of mine as a youngin!)


Almond Coconut Bars


Ohhhhh Holidays… such mixed emotions when I think about them. On the one hand, they are fantastic and fun for obvious reasons- a chance to see and catch up with family, play games, celebrate, and enjoy the great spread of food that is available. Right, the FOOD part of all of this- important to everyone, but the meaning of it changes as well depending on the individual. For someone with an eating disorder/disordered eating/whatever, holidays are a tough time.

I know what I am talking about today is something SO MANY people can relate to or have been through before. What I am opening up about here is nothing new at all, but I did want to share my own personal thoughts on the matter :)

With most people, the company and conversation is the main, attractive focus and the tantalizing meal is one that is anticipated and enjoyed. Normally the meal is not the only thought clouding a person’s thoughts. As with all other social events with food involved, this is a different story for me, the meal IS the focus. The dishes I would be consuming IS the anxiety-provoking aspect of the visit. And fears of judgment, my weight and stressful feelings are the aspects that take over my mind throughout a party.

I have experienced holidays during several stages of my recovery:

  • The worst times of my disordered eating
  • At the beginning when I understood my issue but had made no progress
  • When I started to up my calories and physically was better
  • And now Easter is here and technically I am the most “recovered” I have been since the lowest point.

Although each holiday has been different, they do unfortunately have an all-too-familiar theme: I am anxious before, so conscious of the food yet very withdrawn from those around me during, and then miserable after… miserable either because I did not eat and restricted, or ate and then felt guilty. Either way, holidays (for the most part) are quite an emotional experience for myself.

Last Easter I was in a much different (and worse) place than I am now. In fact one year ago, I blogged about how I feared “letting go of the image” meaning letting go of being the healthy, virtuous one who refused to eat any food that I did not deem safe. You know what ended up happening during that Easter? I restricted the whole time and then on the drive back to school, I ended up stuffing my face with my “safe” foods and then felt even more guilty.

Fortunately a year later, I am MUCH better about the whole “image” thing and also have learned through this healing process that (despite what the disorder might believe) one meal of “indulgent” foods will not in fact make me a depressed fatty. Plus, no one is watching me as much as I think they are… in fact they are enjoying their own holiday as I should be doing as well!

So with that understanding, I am attempting to make this holiday an improvement and exceed all of the others, as far as my thoughts and presence there is concerned. I am so exhausted by the incredibly concentration I have on the food during holidays/gatherings and it really distresses me to realize that my entire self is not present when this happens. I mean how can it be when I am focusing so much on something I am so afraid of yet am fascinated by? FOOD.

Plus now with the lack of exercising situation, I am incredibly tempted to be even more hyper-aware of what goes into my mouth. In all honesty though, this is not LIFE, not normal at all and “normal” whatever that means for me, is the goal!

Holidays are a special time, one I must value, enjoy and NOT let the eating disorder play a role. After all of this time, after all of my efforts and understanding, it is simply not allowed in my life and especially when I am around the ones I love. Food is part of Easter and not ALL… note to self, remember my own advice.

I wasn’t planning on doing a post today, and then I started talking about this holiday stuff and went on a tangent…. oh well here you are :)

I would love to hear from you,

-For those understand my feelings, what have holidays been like for you in the past? How about now, have your feelings and thoughts towards them improved… or perhaps worsened?

-How do you NOT concentrate on the food and instead join in and engage with those around you? As I said, I have come a LONG way with this, and what helps me is right from the beginning, changing my mindset… going in with an open attitude and understanding that food is NOT everything. Repeat.Repeat.Repeat.

-Which of the above recipes would you make and then bring? Seriously I need help with this!

-If you celebrate Easter, what are your plans for the holiday on Sunday? Are you planning on making something?

-Do you have any Easter or Passover traditions? Please share, I love hearing these kinds of stories :)

Have a great rest of your Thursday! I will be back tomorrow with some news to share with you all.

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{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Alex April 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I think we all can relate on this one. The thing I remember is that even people who are not recovering have kind of the same mindset. Excited, get lost in the moment, and then guilt. However, the one aspect we have is that it lingers longer. I totally understand that feeling of either eating and feeling guilty or not eating and feeling worse. Such a tough balance.

I love the kale and butternut squash recipe, kind of want to make that myself. Sadly, Easter weekend is exam weekend so I am stuck at school. But my spring break starts in 10 days meaning I get to go home for the firs time since Christmas. Strange to think that will be the last time home because I start my job right after graduation. Ah!

Enjoy the easter holiday!


2 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Yes, the lingering longer issue is definitely something that is prevalent with those suffering with such an illness
I am sorry you are stuck at school Alex :( blehhh not fun at all!


3 Alexandra April 5, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I can totallllyyyyy relate Tessa! The holidays can be stressful for people who’ve had an ED, especially when food is such a big aspect. I fond thanksgiving to be the hardest though oy. :/
I try my best to remember the holiday (whether it be Easter, Christmas, whatever) only comes once a year and that one adventurous meal won’t make me blimp out like a hippo. Hopefully this year you, me, and anyone suffering from ED thoughts can overcome that voice and just let loose and have fun :)
Sidenote—That kale and butternut squash salad sounds amazing, I bet kabocha would take it to infinity and beyond on the taste scale! :D and those almond bars…if you make those, save me one because I’m coming up there for it haha
Have a wonderful Easter with your family, sending strength and hugs your way!!!
Alexandra recently posted..the challenge IS ON…


4 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I am lookign forward to this year being just fine as it should be! You are right, it is once a year, it’s special and we won’t explode… like hippos, I like that one :)
I decided on the squash dish! Not sure about dessert yet though. BUT if the almond things bring your bum to visit me, then I am making them ;)
Have a great weekend yourself!


5 Vien @ We Dare Food April 5, 2012 at 7:09 pm

For me, I see holidays as a benchmark for my progress. My case is slightly odd actually. My ed thoughts completely slip away whenever I’m hanging out and having a meal with my family & relatives during festivals/holidays! I think it’s because I’m only back home twice a year (winter and summer break) and all I want is just to be in the present with my family- not lost in my head! When I’m with my friends though, it’s a completely different story. Yes! I totally need to understand that food isn’t everything as well!

Yummy! All the recipes look amazing but if I had to pick one, I’d go with the salad with avocado dressing and the almond coconut bars!!!
Have a wonderful Easter break! :)
Vien @ We Dare Food recently posted..10 Things You Don’t Know About Me


6 Hannah April 5, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Those almond coconut bars sound really yummy!!! Also I think it’s really awesome that you have such an amazing support system. Both times at IP I had to put together a team before discharging, because it is proven that your success rate for recovery is better when you have a full team that supports you and keeps you accountable! You are so lucky and it seems like using your blog as another outlet for that strength and encouragement is just another step in the right direction. As far as the whole holiday thing…..you hit the nail on the head! I’m actually glad that I spend holidays along because then I don’t have to worry about the anxiety that comes with. How sad, right? Anyways, i hope your easter holiday is one to remember and you enjoy every second of it!


7 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

I could not agree more… support is what makes a major difference! My blog is another fantastic outlet for myself and I am so thankful for it, the community and my family of course :)
I am sorry you have so much stress around the holidays girl.. obviously I get it. Maybe the next one will be better, if you let it! :)


8 Faith @ For the Health of It April 5, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Holidays are tough enough without disordered eating popping up, but I think most people actually have some bad experiences with food on holidays, disordered or otherwise. Like you, I’ve been through them in all different periods, and it’s all posed a unique set of challenges. I think the key is eating a bit of everything you want but honestly focusing on not over-stuffing. There is ZERO shame in having seconds, but the body is great at making shame if you overdo it on the first go’round.


9 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Very true Faith, and I appreciate this reminder!


10 Tt April 5, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Ohhhh. Holidaze….. Love them/hate them. Cant live with them or without them. For special occasion meals my nutritionist and i came up with my own “my plate” diagram- 1/3 “safe” food, 1/3 “not so safe” food, and 1/3 ” holy scary scrap this is amazing delicious and it scares me so badly” food. And i start the meal with a big glass of calm down its just one meal it wont kill you and you will get thru this fine wine.

About your last post i recently read that for anorexics in recovery who restrict as little as 300cal a day below their needs for two weeks showed a significant alteration in brain chemistry, and sparked a pattern of regression that was much much more difficult to correct after that time period to recover previous progress and to rebalance the brain chemistry. This really resonated with me and simultaniously reminded me that i need to not “accidentally” restrict or “conveniently forget” any part of my meal plan.
The only thing that could possibly suck more than recovering from and eating disorder would be having to do it again.


11 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

First, I like your idea with the plate ratio! I shall consider it for Sunday
And goodness that is quite interesting about the brain chemistry business… I have been learning about this a bit in one of my nutrition classes and yep, the chemicals in the brain really do play a part in all of this. Doing it all over again? Oh my, please no


12 HollieisFueledByLOLZ April 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I try and stay postive throughout. I agree with Faith ^, and taking smaller portions and trying more later if that makes sense.

I’m actually going to a wedding this weekend, so it should be interesting!
HollieisFueledByLOLZ recently posted..WEGO: Inspirational Penguins


13 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Gahh I love weddings but again, the anxiety comes up! I hope you have a fabulous time lady


14 Erica @ For the Sake of Cake April 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Focusing on the company & not the food is definitely something I struggle with! I feel like every single holiday, I eat until I’m uncomfortably full just because the food is there & because it’s a once-a-year thing. This year, I really want to focus on the people & spending time with my family instead! :-) On Sunday, we’ll be with my family first, then move onto to Chris’s family celebration.
Erica @ For the Sake of Cake recently posted..Pug X-Ray


15 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

We both have the same goal in mind Erica and I know it can be done! Good luck and have a great Easter :)


16 Amy @ Turtle-speed Runner April 5, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I suppose I am an exception, because both the interaction with family AND the food provide anxiety for me. (I only see extended family twice a year, so I don’t really “know” them and as such the social anxiety surfaces).
The way I usually deal with the food is to take little bits of everything… and with my chocolate eggs and such, I have a little bit each day. That way you’re still eating the “unhealthy” stuff and not feeling horribly guilty either.
I think I like the look of the fig newtons and the kale salad the best :)
I hope you have an awesome break with your family!!
Amy @ Turtle-speed Runner recently posted..Bridges 10k Fun Run


17 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Gahh Amy I am sorry you have some anxiety with the fam as well! That is not a good combination and I am sure is overwhelming at times when you are anxious about two major things. I hope everything is fine though!!


18 StoriesAndSweetPotatoes April 5, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Homemade fig newtons?? Awesome! I have a small family and we don’t do much for the holidays so I’ve never had to juggle those situations with my ED or recovery. It would be very hard for me though. I think you’ll just need to remind yourself of what you already know, that family will always be in your life and food comes and go, quite literally :)
StoriesAndSweetPotatoes recently posted..Things I Might Literally Die Without


19 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Thank you for the reminder love!


20 Kate @ Chasing It April 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

aaah yep. totally can relate to this!! I’ve gotten a LOT better in recent years, but the holidays are always a bit of a mindfuck for me. Especially when my sister has her own ED, I think we feed off each others’ anxiety and that makes it all the worse, ugh. Thanksgiving and Christmas are by far the worst! I love this post though, I can tell how determined you are to make this Easter your best yet. I definitely know you’ve got all the tools to do it!! I’m not really doing anything for easter – it’s never really been a big deal holiday in my house. Clearly we are the most failurous sicilian catholic family EVER hahahaha.


21 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Mindfuck… I just really enjoy that term :) Goodness that must be tough with your sister…. how is she doing at this point? Feel free to NOT answer that Kate!


22 Kate @ Chasing It April 7, 2012 at 9:14 am

haha it is a great word indeed :-P And my sister’s doing pretty well! She’s back at school till June and I think its a LOT easier for her there – she’s got friends and work and activities to occupy her etc. I think us being together at home can get tense at times but its sooo much less than it used to be thank goodness!

23 Amy Lauren April 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Holidays make me anxious too. My grandma died around Christmas, and my other grandma died around new year’s. I also had an aunt pass away on Memorial Day. And yeah, being around family AND food doesn’t help, especially when the family food isn’t always the healthiest or they don’t understand the issues. I have all the ingredients for that blueberry pie and am honestly debating making it now, haha. It looks delicious!
Amy Lauren recently posted..Hump Day Happenings


24 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Aww Amy I am sorry you have had so many losses… and around the holidays? Even tougher! I wish I had something more useful to say, but I am sorry for your losses!


25 Khushboo Thadani April 6, 2012 at 1:32 am

Holidays are tough for sure, especially when you’ve had a disordered relationship with food in the past! I remember a couple of Christamases ago, 5-6 days leading up I ran my heart out just to build up a ‘calorie bank’…come Christmas lunch, I still barely ate and while I wish I could say it was because I was enjoying the company that was hardly why! I was scared that a single morsel of anything deemed ‘unhealthy’ would make me gain a billion pounds. It’s only now when I look back that I realise how ridiculous that mindset it! Now that food is not as much of an issue, I doubly enjoy the holidays: great food and as I am spending less time focusing on what I “can’t” eat, I have more time to bask in the company of others! Love the sound of that kale & butternut squash salad- so lovely for the warm weather!
Khushboo Thadani recently posted..Getting comfortable


26 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I am glad that we are both able to look back on such occasions and realize how ridiculous it was! I have done something similar to this and just…ugh… to say the least
I think I am going with the kale dish :)


27 Kelly April 6, 2012 at 3:11 am

Holidays aren’t that hard for me… well, not harder than other visits to friends’ homes. I kind of have an anxiety about food that isn’t in my own kitchen, and it’s a rather greedy habit, but I just want to try everything that other households have. Before my ACTUAL eating disorder, the huge binges were usually during visits.
Yes, holidays definitely have conflicted feelings. I don’t care for the social interaction (slightly too much anxiety over appearance/mannerisms and I never want to contribute anything to the topics at hand), but I like the general “feel” of holidays; the weather and the smell of the house and the liveliness of everyone around, and food kind of goes with that type of energy. Thinking about it now, I don’t feel so anxious about how much control I would have at a holiday meal, but I still think I would, technically, overeat. I have yet to experience a holiday disorder-free, and I don’t celebrate Easter, but I have a feeling it wouldn’t be hard to control myself if I needed to during the upcoming weekend. The hardest part for me is that at the table, I’m pretty much required to sit through the whole thing, and since I don’t talk much (even though I do anticipate it equally as much as the food), I pick at everything, slowly inhaling maybe 1000 more calories than I would have consumed if I could have gotten up when I was finished.


28 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Hi Kelly,
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts on this and adding a different perspective! I didn’t even consider holidays being anxious for those that have a hard time being completely comfortable around others… huh, you gave me something to think about! I do hope you have a nice weekend girl


29 Sophie @ Love Live & Learn April 6, 2012 at 8:11 am

Oh hun I hope you’re okay. It is difficult, it will always be difficult, but I know that you can do it! I know that you want to be happy and healthy and that you will find your way and recover Tessa :-)

I have similar issues with food around the holidays. I find that I watch what everyone else eats like a hawk because I “need” to eat less, I focus on the food way to much and always have feelings of guilt for overeating. It’s not an easy time so I can completely appreciate that! Just dress up nicely, remember that you are absolutely gorgeous and enjoy the time with your family :-) <3


30 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Oh yes you articulate this so well here… you need to eat less compared to others for…what?! I don’t exactly know the answer to that, but I know I do it! Not anymore though


31 Kat April 6, 2012 at 9:33 am

oh holidays and binge eating. Thats what they tend to be for me. I still havent quite reigned in that part of the ED. Some holidays are better than others. Valentines this year was better. Easter should be ok, but its also girl time for me, which means chocolate cravings are EXTREME lol. BUT, im just trying to focus on what Easter REALLY means to me, which is Jesus sying and rising again for ME. I just need that to be my main focus and not be selfish and only think about my ED. Easter means SO MUCH MORE!
Kat recently posted..Gluten Free Strawberry Topped Chocolate Cake


32 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I know that changing out mindset around all of this will be sooo so helpful! Good luck Kat, you deserve a care-free and enjoyrable holiday :)


33 Allie April 6, 2012 at 9:48 am

I like that note–to remember that of course food is part of any holiday, but it ISN’T the holiday–the holiday is family and friends and all being together! That said, if that being together involves homemade fig newtons, well, that just sounds even better to me.

I usually celebrate Easter, but my family is going to be around on Saturday instead, so I think we’re going to celebrate with some Ethiopian food out. That’s…sort of Eastery?
Allie recently posted..Future


34 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

haha it certainly is ;) have a great weekend Allie!


35 Sally Anne @ PaleoRunnerGirl April 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

Darlin, I just got caught up on the posts I missed and I think you are AMAZING, Tessa! I am so inspired by you! Your honesty and insights are truly incredible. Thank you for sharing–you are SO not alone! I cannot imagine how hard it has been to take a break from running (and silencing those negative voices in your head). I also LOVE what you said about the whole Thinspiration/Fitspiration trend. For some reason I have a huge problem with those pins. They make me feel so negative about my own body as they perpetuate such impossible standards–I keep thinking what about what is INSIDE these people. I feel like the emphasis really needs to shift away from superficial aspects.
Sally Anne @ PaleoRunnerGirl recently posted..New York Adventure


36 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Well thank you girl, it means a lot that you said such nice things to me abou tall of this! Oh and I am glad to hear you can understand my anger with the pinterest thing.. it was like, all of a sudden it hit me how much those images were hindering me!


37 Jen April 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

I have more torn feelings over Good Friday than Easter; I LOVE breakfast and brunch, so Easter is one of my absolute favorite eating holidays. But I’m Catholic, so on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, I’m supposed to fast: one small, meatless meal and two snacks that do not add up to the equivalent of a full meal. When I was in high school, I had a much more embattled relationship to food and my body, and I actually looked forward to these days as challenges for myself to not eat and fell into these pretty destructive patterns of thinking that if I could do it for one day, then I could keep going and fast more often and lose weight. One year I actually fasted every Friday as my thing to give up for Lent, and I’ll be honest, I did it in an attempt to lose weight. I don’t fall into those same thought patterns that I did a few years ago, but I’m still hesitant to fully participate in the fast, but then that provokes the good old Catholic guilt that I’m being a bad and selfish person.


38 Jen April 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

For the record, I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I think a lot of girls have a messed up relationship with food and body image, even if they don’t develop a disorder, and for a few years, I definitely fell into that category. I’m at a place now where I’m comfortable with myself and don’t want to lose weight, but sometimes that temptation to see how little I can eat resurfaces around Lent and especially on Good Friday.


39 Brittany April 6, 2012 at 10:56 am

This is indeed one topic I can relate with you 100% on. Holiday dinners make me nervous…very nervous. I worry about overeating with the rest of the people around me, I worry the foods are going to be carb based and lacking in vegetables, and I worry that my workout for the day wont be enough to compensate for the food.

This year, instead of accepting the meal my mom offered (really I just would have hated it) I offered to make a meal myself. This way I can incorporate a shit load of vegetables, and get my protein too. Perhaps this is avoiding the problem, but it makes me feel better. Plus I don’t want to break my vegan streak just for Easter dinner. The candy will go untouched (unfortuantely.)

Other than this, I will focus on family and just stop when I am full. Thanksgiving was a good test for me..I ate until I was full (I also made a big chunk of that dinner.) Just have fun and bring that kale squash salad!!
Brittany recently posted..Lundberg Rice Chips


40 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Well it sounds like you have a plan in action Brittany.. and although it does sound like it is avoiding the problem a bit (no criticism from me here, I have done this before) I think it’s fine.. you are aware and it will help you to have a good time!


41 Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries April 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

i can completely relate to anxiety revolving around the holidays! i particularly feel anxious around christmas time as that is the holiday that revolves around ALL of my favorite foods and desserts. my anxiety has definitely decreased as time has gone on, thank goodness, but it’s still there at times. because my diet lately has become a lot more laxed, i’m not feeling nearly as anxious as i think i normally would with easter being in a few days. i’m looking forward to some ham and cheesy potato casserole! ;)
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..What You May Not Know


42 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Gahh i would look forward to that too! Have a great holiday Ashley.. both of us can relax and feel A-OK about it!


43 Lisa April 6, 2012 at 11:49 am

Yep, I can totally relate to this. I think most people who have or have had an ED can. Holiday’s can be very stressful. Especially when food is a big focus. I try and relax more than normal because its just once a year, but it is still difficult. I usually like to bring a dish myself so it makes me a little more relaxed about things. All that food you listed looks delicious!! Oh and I’m getting back to your e-mail today, this week has been a little crazy! Have a great friday girl!xo
Lisa recently posted..Crazy Toned All Over Workout


44 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

No worries Lisa… get back to me whenever you can :)


45 Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health April 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

In the past when I’ve had more disordered stuff going on, I think I always saw holidays as a chance for me to just indulge and eat what I wanted. I would look forward to it and stuff myself with things I wanted. Then of course, I would always feel incredibly guilty afterward! Now I try to still let myself indulge, but not go overboard…that doesn’t always happen haha but it’s a work in progress. I’d make those almond coconut bars! Those babies look fabulous :D. Hope you have an awesome Easter weekend!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Fitness Loves of the Week #10


46 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

It all comes down to the same thing… balance!! We both can do it Lindsay, it can be figured out!


47 Anna @ The Guiltless Life April 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I LOVE your round up of recipes! The salads look super interesting and the homemade fig newtons are genius and definitely calling my name!
Anna @ The Guiltless Life recently posted..Double Chocolate Protein Muffins


48 Cait's Plate April 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I think you’re just amazing Tessa. And just remember that even when it sometimes feels like you’re going backwards, it’s all really a part of your recovery. You’re so strong and brave to face this and work towards recovery – it’s not an easy thing to do and I really admire you for it!
Cait’s Plate recently posted..My Secrets Are Out


49 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Thank you Cait!!


50 Laura @ LauraLivesLife April 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Holidays are hard for me – even restaurants are hard for me sometimes; right now, I’m just trying to focus on how much I miss out on when I refuse to eat at a restaurant or go to a BBQ and not eat! I totally understand your struggles and I wish there was a magic pill we could take – I guess for me it’s just taking things one day, one meal out at a time, and allowing myself to recognize and validate the feelings I’m having so I can hopefully overcome! Have a wonderful weekend lady!
Laura @ LauraLivesLife recently posted..Five Things Friday (Running Edition)


51 tessa8m April 6, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Oh yes… wouldn’t it be awesome to just snap your fingers/take a pill and have all of this go away?! I hope you have a great weekend too Laura!


52 Sarah - Feeeding Brain and Body April 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

These are all great recipes you posted. I hope the holidays turn out well and that you are able to enjoy the company :)
Sarah – Feeeding Brain and Body recently posted..Wax On, Wax Off: Spreadable Cheese


53 Julia @ girl with a stethoscope April 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Holidays are tough – with thanksgiving being the worst of the worst. I often feel guilty for spending so much time thinking about foods and avoiding certain foods and not enough time enjoying my family. It’s all a process and it will get better. One step at a time.

Have a fabulous weekend Tessa, you deserve it!
Julia @ girl with a stethoscope recently posted..Chi-Town 1/2 Marathon Recap {Workout Wednesday}


54 Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie April 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Holidays can be hard but since I usually only celebrate them with my mom, dad and sister it makes them a lot easier! I’ve been around my extended family when I was first recovering 3 summers ago and it was so hard because they didn’t know about my eating disorder and my new eating preferences–one side of my family is really into red meat and they didn’t understand why I refused to eat it, even before I went vegetarian. Now that I am veg, I’m worried about seeing them again this summer possibly and having to explain my eating habits but really, it’s none of their business! Celebrating with just my immediate family makes me feel more at ease because they understand why I want to eat healthy and vegan and I can cook for myself! So I actually enjoy holidays because they’re pretty low key.
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..Best of…March!


55 Kathleen @ KatsHealthCorner April 8, 2012 at 10:15 pm

You are so strong Tessa. You can do this. I believe in you. :)
Kathleen @ KatsHealthCorner recently posted..Turkish Inspired Hummus!


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