Impossible To Avoid and Other Ramblings

by tessa8m on May 18, 2012

in Friday Favorites

Happy Friday everyone!

Thank you for all of your well-wishes and good lucks for my interview! It was a success but that is all I am going to say about it for now…I know that is obnoxious and vague, but I want to commit more time to explaining what the interview was about and my plans for well… the future! All good stuff though :)

Oh and it was certainly entertaining hearing about childhood candy favorites- ring pops, baby bottle pops, nerds rope- all ones I indulged in on a regular basis. Seriously no wonder I have so many dang cavities now!

The positive and feeling now that I am home is in full-force and I am certainly not complaining. I do just feel more…. hopeful about everything- school was okay, mainly a negative experience overall though, now it’s behind me and it’s time to move on. As I talked about on Wednesday, it was really easy to embrace the promises of the eating disorder while at school, especially those last few weeks when I was honestly wallowing in self-pity, feeling bad for myself but not making much of an effort to do anything about it.

It felt ‘good’ in a sick way to cause destruction to myself via restrictive habits, because that is what I deserved and more importantly, it was all that I had to offer at the time and be successful at. Of course all attempts at bringing back my old ways backfired as I have come much too far in this recovery process to give in that easily. As a result, I stuffed my face and then felt like crap about it.

Alright so none of that anymore, please and thank you, and I am now MOVING ON- so far so good :) And let me tell you, it feels really nice to be able to say something like that. Yep I am repeating myself a bit here from the other day, but reiterating these promises to myself are necessary and motivation, and continue to give my disordered brain the kick in the pants it needs quite often!

Friday is the day that I like to talk about a bunch of various/random thoughts, events, actions, and so on that I feel are worth bringing attention to! Today is no different and I have a smorgasbord of stuff to tell y’all about… oh and I am aware that word doesn’t make much sense here, but I like how it sounds. Hoookay, let’s get to it!

1) I am sure you have already on the several other blogs who posted about this, but on Wednesday night I met up with some wonderful ladies for an ice cream date!

Tracy, Amy, Sarah, Sara, and Lindsay! I was already familiar with Sarahs, Lindsay and Sara’s blog before the meet up, but Tracy and Amy were newbies for me… now they are officially on my to-read blog list :) I had such a lovely time, being with women that I could (eventually) be comfortable around and not have to worry about being judged or viewed negatively, something I have become increasingly aware of since the disorder really took over.

I will admit, initially it was awkward (Lindsay and Sara described the feelings quite well), because you know so much about these people via their blog, but then what do you actually say to them in person!? After a bit though, it was completely fine and natural :) Plus what I ordered from the J.P.Licks was the cherry on top of the night… yeah I went there!

Hmm this picture make it hard to really see the deliciousness this treat was… I went with Oatmeal cookie frozen yogurt (Lindsay, I am glad you loved it as much as I do!), Peanut Butter soft serve on top, with oreos and chocolate sprinkles… oh and a cone too :) I always want the cone, but never get ice cream actually in it because then I have the issue of having to eat the ice cream quite fast before it melts everywhere #firstworldproblems.

Oh and you had better believe I brought some back with me,

A pint of half Oatmeal Cookie and half Chocolate Chip cookie frozen yogurt for my personal consumption. I know what is for dessert tonight! Oh and last night… and tomorrow too. I am not joking about having this every night... it just feel okay and ‘allowed’ in a weird way to consume this treat for several days in a row. Plus it tastes like rainbows and magic and I want it! Done and done.

Again, so nice to meet you all, and I can’t wait for the next time, which will be happening :)

2) Earlier this week, a reader named Annie sent me a link to an article on Yahoo News, which I actually ended up seeing myself later on that day, and it brought up some frustrated and ragey thoughts for both of us.

Basically it was a short article explaining how Shawn Johnson, the 4’11″ gymnastic gold medalist from 2008, put on some weight from a series of injuries, her Dancing With The Stars bit, and other various life circumstances, but then lost about 25 pounds (all of the gain and then some) because of hurtful comments, and society demands from the people and the media.

Even when she was at the top of the gymnastics world, Johnson battled weight issues. “I was at the Olympic Games winning medals and I still doubted my image,” she said. “I doubted what I looked like. That’s sad. Girls should be taught different than that. I think everyone should be taught different than that.”

I suppose there is not much more to add to Shawn’s explanation of why she lost so much weight, other than like… feckkkkk. I know, such an intelligent response but in all seriousness, this girl has a whole lot to be proud of, I mean she’s an gold medalist for crying out loud! Yet, the media is focusing on what her body looks like, how much weight she has gained, which in turn lead her to feel take (most likely) drastic measures in order to lose weight and be “accepted” once again.

To me (and to Anne as well) this gives me even more reason to continuously make a strong effort to NOT ever listen to what the media says. No matter what, we will never be good, thin, and beautiful enough… according to whoever or whatever decided this. This article and the ideas behind it provide me with an increased sense of motivation to do my best to ignore society “standards” and to do what works for ME, or else I will continue to live a life plagued by the fear of never being an even adequate human being.

Truth.

Let’s move on for now….

3) Yesterday I had my Nursing School orientation and have my schedule all set for the semester! Because I have already taken a bunch of perquisite courses, my first semester really is not that bad, busy yes, but all classes that pertain to nursing… finally! I know the next two years are not going to be a walk in the park, but I am confident in my abilities to take on the course work and any other demands and requirements that are thrown my way.

However, allow me to vent for a second.

Now I do understand that nursing is HARD WORK, but I swear, if one more person that has already been through it tells me “Congrats, but man oh man, I am SO GLAD I am not you right now and having to go through school!” upon me telling them I am starting in the fall, well then I am going to do something rash! I really just don’t understand why people respond like this, raining on other people’s parades whenever possible, it happens all of the time.

Sorry vent over.

4) After the orientation, I was near the mall and decided to stop in, have a poke around and treat myself if anything caught my attention.

I really don’t like shopping for clothes unless I am with my mom, as I usually become unmotivated to do so as soon as I set my foot in the door. My less than stellar attitude is always stemming from a number of reasons- the ever-persistent feeling of “fatness” being the main one…. but today was odd, I felt inspired, so I went with it and scored a few cute items!

Two tanktops and shorts from American Eagle. Although I am 22 years old, you sure as heck better believe I still shop in American Eagle… yes some of their stuff screams TWEEN to me, but a lot of it is great, and usually on sale! Hence the items I bought today, on sale for 40% off, WIN. The orange tank on the left is a bit different- the back is more open and lacy, plus I love the color.

I didn’t purchase these shoes today (got them a few weeks ago in Northampton) but never showed them here,

My first pair of Toms! I have been eying the canvas version of these for awhile now, and while I initially wanted the coral ones I remember seeing on Pinterest recently, the white really stole the show for me. I could not be more pleased with the choice- so comfortable, summery and they go with everything! When I find a pair of shoes i genuinely love, well a holiday ought to occur. I have ermm… huge feet, so finding shoes can be a challenge.

This process has gotten much better from when I was little- there seems to be larger sizes available, plus I am not embarrassed at my size ELEVEN foot anymore! I mean I am pretty dang tall (5’11″) and tiny feet are just never going to happen. When I used to go into store though, I would have my mom tell the assistant the size because I was so ashamed. Gosh, so many body-image issues, even my poor feet were not spared!

4) You know what else I realized I just love to do when I have time to?

Go into a Yankee Candle store and sniff every.single.item… well that is until I get a raging headache haha. Let me tell you though, before the headache sets in, there are just countless delicious, fruity, fresh smells to test! A few times I was asked by the people working there if I needed help finding anything, nope, just hear to smell.

Ahhh pure bliss :) My all-time favorites include-

  • Pretty much ANY of the ‘fresh’ scents: Clean Cotton, Fluffy Towels, anything beach/spa related… I mean who doesn’t like the oh-so-lovely smell of just washed and dried laundry? Well if you don’t I deem you a bit weird ;)
  • Honeydew melon, Pineapple Cilantro, Sparkling Lime, and Mango Blossom for the fruits
  • Lavender Vanilla, Willow Breeze, and Eucalyptus for the flowers

I am sure there are a crap-ton of others I love too, but those are the first that come to mind. Oh and of course there are the food ones- Buttercream, Pumpkin Pie, Carrot Cake, Dark Chocolate- amazing as well, but I could never have them burning in my house. I would constantly want to 1) eat whatever food it smelled like and 2) tempted to eat the candle. Hrmm no to both :)

5) Since being home, I have cooked/baked something everyday… gosh it’s good to be back with my own supplies and ingredients! I also am challenging myself to use up more of the ingredients in the pantry before buying more. Therefore when I found a few blocks of white chocolate that needed to be used, a blondie-ish recipe was born!

White Chocolate Brownies

  • 1/3 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces (about 5 T, plus a smidgen more!)
  • 6 ounces white chocolate, chopped
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup walnut pieces lightly toasted- I used a microwave, added in 1 tsp of butter with the walnuts and cooked them for 2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute before finishing the time

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
  2. Butter and line a 9-inch square baking pan with parchment.
  3. Over a pot of simmering water, melt butter halfway. Add white chocolate and stir until melted. Allow to cool to room temperature.
  4. In a mixer fitted with the whisk attachment (or with an electric mixer), whip eggs, sugar and vanilla until pale and thick. Reduce speed to medium and add chocolate mixture.
  5. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt and stir into egg mixture, by hand. Stir in dried cranberries and walnuts and spoon into prepared pan.
  6. Bake 45 minutes.

This is me attempting to be photo-savvy with a turn of the camera... so artsy I know ;)

Yes I tried one (and batter too) and YES they were tasty! The toasting of the walnuts really helped to bring the flavor or the nut out which blended nicely with the white chocolate flavor. Even though I am a fan of white chocolate, my mom is not, and she even loved these! Give them a try, I am sure they will be a hit.

6) This particular “thing” for Friday is a bit hard for me to explain, so bear with me.

Basically when the disordered eating business got worse and worse, so did my self/body image… basically it plummeted. If I thought I was self-conscious before the illness really took hold, well it was nothing compared to what is was, and unfortunately continues to be.

As a result, I felt/feel (not as much at least) uncomfortable taking pictures, so when I do, I make every effort to look my very “best” in them- only smiling, hair perfect, the right angle, and correct pose to avoid looking “fat.” I was looking at my Facebook photos the other day and a majority of them are me make every effort to look perfect, whatever the hell that means, I am smiling, back straight, trying to be at the ‘skinny’ angle in all of them.

BORING. I used to take fun and goofy photos because I really didn’t give a crap what they looked like! I was having a good time and that was all that mattered…. I would love to get back to that point one day, or at least a bit more care-free would be nice. I am beginning with this lovely image of my brother and me from last weekend :)

Hahahaaha I love this, and more of this sort of stuff needs to come back into my life… that whole “fun” and happiness thing, it’s been MIA for just too long now.

And that is the image I am finishing this post with hehe.

I have some great stuff to look forward to and all of it involves being with and reconnecting with friends from high school… I am embracing this chance to socialize with open arms because I know deep down it’s what I both want and need. It promises to be a pleasant weekend over all, so bring it on!

-What sort of reaction do you have to the Shawn Johnson article? I feel anger of course and just like… disappoint as well, disappointment on what the reality in our society is.

-When you take a picture, do you try to look ‘perfect’ in it, or are some of yours goofy/doofy looking? Do you feel self-conscious with photos?

-Name one thing you feel the need to VENT about today! Let it out man, feels so great.

-Do you have a favorite Yankee Candle scent? My all time favorite is and will always be Clean Cotton, I just can’t get over the fresh laundry smell.

-Where do you mainly shop for clothes? Are you a fan of clothes shopping?

-Share your plans for the weekend, I would love read about them!

As always, I wish you all a most delightful next few days :) See ya soon!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

{ 100 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Khushboo Thadani May 18, 2012 at 6:24 am

Yesss about the cone ON TOP of the ice cream…genius, especially since I share your melting woes! Those white chocolate brownies look delightful- as much as I love milk & dark chocolate, I equally enjoy the white stuff! Have you tried Toblerone? Hands down the best white chocolate I have eaten till date!

Have a great weekend – hope you have some fun stuff planned! So far my weekend involves the cinema, fro yo, high tea & the comedy club :)!
Khushboo Thadani recently posted..Helping a sista out

Reply

2 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I have only tried the Toblerone milk chocolate… well now I know what is on the shopping list, so worth a ‘splurge’ :) Sounds like you are in for a great weekend lady!

Reply

3 Sarah @ the Brain and Body May 18, 2012 at 7:30 am

First of all those white chocolate brownies look soooo great! Second of all: I love the clothes and Toms that you bought, they are beautiful!

It looks like you had a great blogger meet-up, I have never done one, but I think I would actually be a bit nervous haha :) I completly understand what you means about other people raining on your parade, totally not necessary!

P.S – I never realized Asset was Tessa backwards until today!! :)
Sarah @ the Brain and Body recently posted..WIAW: Edibles after Edibles

Reply

4 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Thank you Sarah! And yessss it is, the day I discovered that was a good day indeed :D

Reply

5 Meg May 18, 2012 at 7:50 am

babe we have the same TOMS! Isn’t that awesome!? :D I have gotten so many compliments on mine. I assure you that you will be addicted just like me now :) I think these are pair number 5 for me??

I love how you eat your ice cream and are so happy with that :) I strive to be more like you
Meg recently posted..High Five Friday #14: School Successes!

Reply

6 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Wahoo great minds think alike Meg :D

Reply

7 lindsay May 18, 2012 at 7:50 am

oh i love blog meet ups, they are odd at first but you just gotta hug and start talking, ya know? Great group of gals.
I’ll have to go read that article, once again, you’ve got me intrigued. I am sure I am with you 100% on this issue. I was a gymnst when i was young, so much pressure… i can’t even imagine the media side!
lindsay recently posted..Sharing is Caring

Reply

8 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Oh I am sure you are going to understand the issues in the article Lindsay!

Reply

9 Cait @ Beyond Bananas May 18, 2012 at 8:19 am

Congrats to a successful interview! I look forward to hearing about it.

I totally think the media has so much to do with female body images.. and I also think HLBs can even skew an individuals perspective of how yourbody should look. It creates a comparison trap…what is that person eating.. how far/how fast are they running.. etc. It can be difficult to ignore these things.. especially if you have a tendency to over exercise or have disordered eating.
Cait @ Beyond Bananas recently posted..Countdown Queen

Reply

10 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Oh yes, the HLB community can be difficult to navigate around. I know I have purged a ton of blogs from my reader because they are just not helpful for to read at all

Reply

11 Alexandra May 18, 2012 at 8:21 am

#1 That article about Shawn Johnson is insane– what the poop, she deserves so much more respect, how many people can say they got a gold medal?! Oy society sucks haha
#2 your ice cream flavor combo with the cone on top made me produce copious amounts of drool
#3 YAY about nursing school and Toms!!!!!!
#4 I hope you have leftovers of those brownies…I’m coming up there for some heehee (my teleporting machine broke down on Wednesday for the blogger meetup, but I think I’ve fixed it hahaha ;))
Have a magnificent weekend sista!!
Alexandra recently posted..Fee Fi Fo Fum Friday

Reply

12 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I am so glad to hear the machine is fixed now, see your hawtt self soon ;)

Reply

13 Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health May 18, 2012 at 8:34 am

Oh I love you! I was sad when I read that Shawn Johnson article about her reason for losing weight…it’s so unfortunate that the media can influence us that much! And I’m so with you on the yankee candle thing! I go in there all the time just to smell stuff and then my nose starts feeling all funny haha. Did you see any “man scents” in there? I was watching the news yesterday and they were talking about how yankee candle now has man scents that are things like – mowed lawn and something about sitting in front of a tv haha…I can only imagine how lovely they smell ;). I love AE. I want to go shopping so bad. I tried to get a pair of TOMS yesterday but they were out of my size. Booooo…I will be trying again this weekend! Hope you have a great Friday Tessa!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Boston Blogger Meet Up and New Strength Workout

Reply

14 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I didn’t see the man scents in there! Either I was completely oblivious to their presence or they haven’t gotten to that store yet, I hope it’s the latter haha
Dohhh I am sorry about the Toms, keep lookin though, they ROCK, as do you :)

Reply

15 Michelle @ Blogitness May 18, 2012 at 9:11 am

The white chocolate brownies look amazing and the blogger meet-up looked like so much fun!
Michelle @ Blogitness recently posted..First Ever Blogitness Giveaway!

Reply

16 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:06 pm

It certainly was Michelle :D

Reply

17 Sara @ The Foodie Diaries May 18, 2012 at 10:37 am

I had SUCH a great time at our froyo date :) I’m so glad you’re home because we’ll definitely have to do it again. And not just froyo, I’m going to show you a night out in Boston you won’t forget (it may or may not involve drinking and dancing… :)) ! You’re so sweet and fun, I can’t wait for the next blogger meetup!
Sara @ The Foodie Diaries recently posted..Oldies But Goodies

Reply

18 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Please dooooo, dancing is my favorite thing to do when I go out! I get so bored just standing around at a bar, so yes please to the offer :)

Reply

19 Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries May 18, 2012 at 10:39 am

i’m so glad you gals all had a great time! your ice cream combo sounds perrrfect! :)
i love your new clothes too! i totally agree about american eagle… sometimes stuff is a little too “tweeny” for my taste, but i still find things i love there every so often.
and gosh, those white chocolate brownies?! holy yum. i need to make those. i’m so glad you’ve been enjoying baking and cooking! i think i need to do some baking today actually… ;)
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..The Perfect Overnight Oats Combo

Reply

20 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I hope if you baked today that it was a roaring success Ashley :) Have a lovely weekend!

Reply

21 Laurie @ Love, Laugh, Laurie May 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

Still so jealous of the blogger meet up :) And those brownies look amazing!

This weekend I have my sister’s bachelorette party and I’m planning on doing some shopping of my own. It’s been forever! Hopefully I can find some cute stuff like you did!! (ps, I feel your pain with shoes having grown up with what my sister refers to as “clown feet.”)
Laurie @ Love, Laugh, Laurie recently posted..Quick Treadmill Interval

Reply

22 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Have soooo much fun this weekend Laurie! I am glad you share my shoe/big feet woes haha. Well not glad, but you know, it’s nice I am not alone!

Reply

23 chelcie @ chelcie's Food files May 18, 2012 at 11:22 am

I’m jealous i missed out on the blogger fro yo meet up! maybe we’ll have to plan another one this summer when I am back in Mass:)
I love those shorts you got at American Eagle..and the Toms are SO cute!
chelcie @ chelcie’s Food files recently posted..Crab Cakes and Dogs

Reply

24 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Yes for sure, let me know when you are around these parts!

Reply

25 Sarah @Blonde Bostonian May 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

Oh my god give me those TOMS! I don’t have a pair, but want one. I feel like the canvas ones don’t look so great but your white lace ones are adorable! I must find them! The whole thing about Shawn Johnson is insane. She’s in a sport that has some body image issues anyway (gymnasts have to be really strong, but also small) and it’s unfortunate that someone like her falls into the trap of the media that all of us fall into. I imagine some of her weight loss had to do with the fact that she was training for the olympics and gained some weight from being sidelined with injuries, so of course some pounds are going to shed off when you get back into heavy training, but the fact that she also felt like she had to do it for the media’s sake is really unfortunate. I wish we’d all just stop with the idealizing of women’s bodies. No one looks like that!
Sarah @Blonde Bostonian recently posted..Five Thoughts Friday

Reply

26 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Gymnasts are definitely part of a vulnerable sport.. they are supposed to maintain such lean bodies in order to do the crazy moves that they do. No wonder she feels pressure and then when other people’s criticisms are thrown in? No good at all.

Reply

27 CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com May 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm

no shame in shopping at american eagle! I am nearly 25 and still frequent stores like abercrombie and AE. some of their stuff is amazingly comfortable and the sales are awesome!
I am glad you are enjoying being home. You deserve a wonderful summer and honestly, dont let anyone ruin your perception of nursing school. my husband is a nurse and although there are bad days at work, he does love his job and only works 3 days a week!
you can do anything you put your mind to, so I KNOW you will be successful with whatever you chose in the future :-)
PS my favorite yankee candle scent is Christmas cookie! whenever the outlet has it on sale (because they are a freakin’ fortune normally) i snatch them all up :-)
have a great weekend!!!
CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com recently posted..Another Five Things Friday!

Reply

28 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Thank you for the encouragement CJ, I do refuse to let anyone bring me down! Your husband does have a great schedule, that is what I am hoping for someday! OH and YEP those candles are sooo expensive, best to get them on sale, you know whats up ;)

Reply

29 Allie May 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I hadn’t heard about Johnson, but wow–her “big” picture in that article?? She looks GREAT! How was anyone insulting that/saying there was something wrong? And I’m 25 and a good 70% of my wardrobe is from ae, haha. Yeaah, it gets a little tweeny, but their basics are so nice, fit well, and really last. Plus I HATE shopping, so I can just buy a bunch of stuff from them online, I basically know my size, and I can easily return stuff to the store–which only involves a quick pop in and out the door. I’m a bit like you in malls, I walk in one store, suddenly get overwhelmed and depressed, and then walk right back out. But every once in a great while–I’ll actually be in the mood/ready to shop.
Allie recently posted..Factual Friday

Reply

30 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Mhmm yes the basics are great, I have a ton of their tanktops, and shirts. Shopping online is the way to go if you can!

Reply

31 Maren May 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Oh my goodness those Toms are so cute! I haven’t seen them anywhere. And I’m 24 (almost 25) and I still shop at Hollister, American Eagle, Forever 21 and Old Navy. Just do it. I figure once I’m 30 maybe I’ll reevaluate.

I’m loving how positive you are. You are really inspiring me!!!

Reply

32 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Haha well maybe I will reevaluate around that age too… good we got some time then! And thank you Maren :)

Reply

33 Brittany May 18, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I love this post, I don’t even know where to begin!! The blogger meet up sounds AWESOME!! I seriously craveee something like this. No one lives near me..booo. Heck yes for taking the ice cream home, you are a smart cookie!!

Those shorts with the lace..OMGAAHHH I WANT THOSE SO BADD!!! Seriously, cutest shorts I have seen in forever, AND those Toms!! LOVEE.

BROWNIES. Your post has seriously gotten me so excited, please try to hear the excitement in my voice.

Ignore those nursing school bad moody judy’s!! They are whack. You will be fine.

I feel more comfortable making goofy faces in pictures than I do smiling. WEird I know.
Brittany recently posted..My Boyfriend is a Wilderness Nerd

Reply

34 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Hahahahaaa I was quite literally LOLing at “bad moody judy’s” you never cease to make me smile Brittany! Not weird at all, that is the way to be!

Reply

35 Alex @ therunwithin May 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

This all makes me so happy, I feel like sometimes we the same person. Don’t let people rain on your parade, I am so glad you get to do what YOU want to do in the Fall which is honestly all that matters. Jealous of that delicious ice cream, honestly JP Licks is one of the best place around in Boston. I know where I will be going next time I am home. The weight issue thing really bothers me too, here we are successful young women yet beating ourselves up over our bodies. What doesn’t help anything is while we all mentally judge ourselves, people get judgment from others as well. That is the hardest, I have been so conscious this year about stopping ANYONE who comments about if a person lost weight, gained weight, etc because it isn’t our bodies. It is time we all claim our own bodies and stop bashing others. Whoa, soap box off. Anyways, I feel ya on a lot of fronts. Your posts are seriously my favorite. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted..A Day of Lasts

Reply

36 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:30 pm

We really are soo similar and I love it! ha. JP licks is certainly the shit, I am glad you agree and hopefully when you come home we can visit together?! Don’t worry about venting and getting your words out there, you know I 100% agree!!

Reply

37 Sara @my less serioius life May 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

girl i absolutely LOVE those Toms!

Reply

38 Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie May 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I want those shorts you got from American Eagle! I love that store, along with Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch/Forever 21…yeah, basically all those high schooler stores but I just love all the clothes they have there so I don’t care! Their stuff always fits me and I know I can always find something there that I love, plus I look young anyway so I think I can get away with it until I’m 30 ;)

My mom just got a pineapple-scented candle from Bath & Body Works and it smells delicious! I love most of the fruity, tropical candle scents especially the lime vanilla…mmm so good.
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..WIAW: Salads and…Snow?

Reply

39 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Yep those clothes are awesome, I am glad you agree :) Lime vanilla sounds like a scent I would enjoy for sure!

Reply

40 Faith @ For the Health of It May 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

It’s sad to think that no matter what our bodies do for us/enable us to do, we can still find ways to hate them.

On the other end of the spectrum, I love those lace Toms!

Reply

41 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Yep unfortunately that is quite true!

Reply

42 Amy Lauren May 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I’m 26 and I love AE. They have the best jeans there. I have some tops from there that I really like too, but I also like hollister and really anything that fits and looks cute. I’ve been wearing a lot of cute cardigans lately.

I do find it really sad that Shawn doubted herself so much, but unfortunately it’s like that with many athletes. I coach track and cross country and I don’t coach a whole lot of girls, but I know a lot of our kids are unsure of themselves and their body image. We try to be positive role models (myself included, talk about some recovery motivation- there is none better than 9-10 year old girls) but it’s hard when girls have society gnawing at them with body issues. I think Shawn’s body looks fine in either pic but her smile in the after pic looks a little fake and forced. She looked genuinely happy in the before pic (we have a little girl on the team and it’s truly our goal to make sure she keeps a big smile on her face and enjoys running).

I am a little stickler about looking good in pics… ;).
Amy Lauren recently posted..It’s Okay Thursday- May 17

Reply

43 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Yes soo true about the athletes Amy. Like you said with the people you coach, bad body image all over the place! That happened on my XC team, which was one of the many reasons I decided to not do it my senior year of college

Reply

44 Amy Lauren May 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Sad thing is, I coach kids and tweens, not college XC. I can only imagine how it must be in college.

45 StoriesAndSweetPotatoes May 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

They just came out with these Yankee candles for men that are fresh cut grass, sawdust and stuff like that. Did you see them? I kind of love the sawdust smell, lol
Love seeing your goofy faces!! ;)
StoriesAndSweetPotatoes recently posted..A Gluten Free Giveaway

Reply

46 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:38 pm

How did I miss those?! They must have not been in the store yet… I feel like I would have been all over fresh cut grass haha

Reply

47 Kat @ a dash of fairydust May 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Hahaha,when you said you would be tempted to eat the candle I had to think of my sister who once bit into a candle because she thought it lookes like an apple… Obviously,she was about four years old though back then as the candle was purple,lol! :D
I like vanilla- or cinamon-scented candles the most. :)
Anyhow,I’m glad you’ve had a nice time yesterday! Oatmeal cookie fro-yo sounds to die for,oh my…
Kat @ a dash of fairydust recently posted..WIAW [#5] – Creepy Carbs.

Reply

48 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Haha they really can be so tempting though, they smell so dang good!

Reply

49 Kelly@Shape Daily May 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

It’s so hard these days to feel confident in pictures with social media sites like Facebook, where I feel like almost all of my “tagged” pictures are horrible, while other girls have the (over-)confidence to take pictures of themselves all dolled up to use on their profile. I also hate that it’s turned into a bragging and ranting forum for everyone who wants to show off or complain about something. I hate most pictures of myself and usually untag almost all of them. It’s hard to get the perfect pose in when someone snaps a candid without you seeing, and then its online for everyone to judge! Hmph.

Reply

50 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Facebook can be a rather obnoxious place… I have actually de-friended a number of people with your kind of thinking in mind!

Reply

51 Chelsea @ Chelsea Runs May 18, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I think that it’s incredible how much the media sucks these days. SERIOUSLY, Shawn Johnson is an amazing athlete and I’m sure that at either weight, she could kick some serious ass in gymnastics. She is/was by NO MEANS “fat”, especially compared to the general population in America. Like, why are celebrities criticized so much? “Fat” celebrities are almost always considered “thin” by real-world standards. It’s stupid. Rant of the day completed! I’m glad you’re feeling back to your old self with the photos and stuff and enjoyed your froyo adventure! I love those Toms and your new clothes! AE is awesome, no joke.
Chelsea @ Chelsea Runs recently posted..Meet Koda

Reply

52 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I sooo hear you here Chelsea… incredibly irritating and yeah, just freakin sad! I am glad you agree on my wardrobe choices :)

Reply

53 Liz @ Southern Charm May 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Um … I feel you with the school thing!! I had that happen first for law school and then when I went back an extra year to specialize in tax law. It really upset me at the time, but now, I’m SO happy with my career … and the funny thing is, those who gave me a hard time aren’t happy with their jobs at all! It’s what you want to do, so I think it’s amazing you are going for it!!
And I’m so excited you are reconnecting with your high school friends! I will be thinking of you this coming week!
The Shawn Johnson article … it breaks my heart. It really does. And I think the media is sending the wrong message.
And I love shopping anywhere and everywhere :) I have a clothes problem :)
Now I’m off to find something that resembles your frozen yogurt! It looks amazing!!
Liz @ Southern Charm recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday {On Tuesday}

Reply

54 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Haha well bully on them, and good for you for doing what you wanted, even if it was a harder path to take! I have a clothes problem too, and I like it muaha

Reply

55 Anna @ The Guiltless Life May 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Ooh white choc brownies! And your blogger meetup looked so fun – I can’t believe so many of you live in the same area!
Anna @ The Guiltless Life recently posted..Banana Nut Protein Muffins

Reply

56 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I know, it was such a lovely surprise!

Reply

57 Jocelyn @ Peace Love Nutrition May 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

That’s the first pair of Tom’s I’ve ever seen that I actually think are cute! And I kinda want them : )
Jocelyn @ Peace Love Nutrition recently posted..My Healthy Green Smoothie..

Reply

58 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Not a fan of Toms eh? Yeah these look a bit different than the normal ones

Reply

59 Lisa May 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I love candles that smell like fall and winter, you know the pumpkin ones, the peppermint/pine smelling ones. My favourite! Ick, media sucks so much. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be in the media all the time and have your weight criticized by SO many people, honestly that would make me view my body different. Having so many people tell you “you’re fat” would probably make me pretty depressed. Those brownies look absolutely delicious, I’ve been baking lots too this week! :) Love the new summer clothes you picked up! Have a great weekend, getting together with your high school friends should be great for you!xo
Lisa recently posted..Giveaway Time

Reply

60 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

So true Lisa, if you are being critiqued 100% of the time? No wonder she fell pray to all of this
Thank you and I hope you have a nice weekend as well!

Reply

61 Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse May 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I’m glad the interview went well :-)
I love the orange top and those shoes, both gorgeous and an ice cream date sounds perfect to me, glad you had a good time.
It sounds to me like leaving school and physically moving on might be a great thing for mentally moving on from the ED too? But yeah, you don’t need to keep hearing that about the nursing course!
Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse recently posted..A diamond in the rough

Reply

62 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Yes Eleanor I really do feel that way too… like I am still focusing on it, but right now, it’s not bothering me as much. I am going with this positive feeling for now!

Reply

63 Kristen @ notsodomesticated May 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Looks like you guys had a nice time! :) Your ice cream combo sounds deeeelicious! I always like to get my ice cream in a dish and then add the cone on top, too! Great minds think alike! ;)
Kristen @ notsodomesticated recently posted..What I’ve learned since being married.

Reply

64 tessa8m May 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm

It really is the way to go… not stress when consuming the oh-so-delicious treat :)

Reply

65 Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin May 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm

The more and more I hear about stuff like the Shawn Johnson article, the more and more I just don’t understand WHY appearance is such a huge deal in the media. Like, what the heck does a person’s weight/looks say about their talent or personality? NOTHING, that’s what! So why is it talked about?! It drives me nuts!

I’m almost 23 and I still totally shop at AE too. ;) They usually have some really cute stuff and I always get 40% off coupons mailed to me!

Have a great weekend!!!
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..Fingers ‘n dip

Reply

66 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I hear ya Chelsea… I guess it’s talked about because in a twisted way people like to read about it… among many other reasons but I know that is all a part of it.
Oh and I am glad you agree on AE shopping :)

Reply

67 Jen H. May 18, 2012 at 11:01 pm

So jealous! That ice cream looks so good :) I can’t say I’ve been through nursing school but just because a program is challenging and stressful doesn’t automatically mean it’s bad. I found the program that I did this year to be incredibly more stressful than anything I’ve ever done before, but it was definitely worth it and I will basically be doing it again in my further studies. So, yay for nursing school! I know it’s kind of cliche but good things for the most part do not come easily. I also definitely agree that society is messed up when it comes to judging people based on weight. I just try to do my own thing and honestly I’m usually too busy to worry about what the media has to say about basically anything, haha. I guess I see myself in the academia/professional world and I see what goes on in Hollywood/entertainment, etc. as not really having much substance or anything that is worth paying attention to. Maybe getting more deeply involved in academic circles will help, like when you start nursing school :)

Reply

68 Jen H. May 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm

And also – I’m done with school so let me know if you ever want to hang out! Red Mango is my new obsession – mmmm to frozen yogurt.

Reply

69 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Yes yes so true hard work really does pay off… cliche? perhaps but yep, TRUTH. Sounds great to me Jen! We will have to pick a date next week perhaps?

Reply

70 Jen H. May 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Woot! Does Friday work for you?

71 Jen H. May 21, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I got an e-mail about your comment about Thursday (even though I don’t see it here) and Thursday is good :) We can talk about details later! It has been SO long, lol.

72 Eryn May 19, 2012 at 12:27 am

Firstly, congrats on your interview! I’m sure it went well and can’t wait to hear about it! Secondly, don’t let people bring you down about nursing school..everyone I know who does it loves it!! And it is such a rewarding and worthwhile career:) Also your new shorts are adorable! Have a great weekend!
Eryn recently posted..More survey fun

Reply

73 Kate @ Work in Progress May 19, 2012 at 12:31 am

AMERICAN EAGLE FTW!!! seriously though, almost half my clothes are AE haha. And I have the all-access pass. yeaaaah. I guess the laid-back look is just more my style! I looove all the clothes you bought, and TOMS!! omg those are adorable! Also yes to putting the cone on TOP of the ice cream, to oatmeal cookie froyo (my fave flavor ever!) and smelling candles!! I totally do that whenever I see candles in a store. even if it’s Target hahaha. And yeah…that Shawn Johnson story pisses me off. when an athlete takes time off and gains weight, its seen as like…shameful almost. But I mean COME ON, 1. the girl is injured aka she can’t train, so…duh. weight gain isn’t exactly abnormal in that situation. and 2. who cares?? why so much focus on something that’s so temporary and can fluctuate so much? like, why pick apart a skinny person or a larger person, they might not look like that forever. And you don’t know anyone’s story – an “overweight” girl that I’m judging might not be a normal “overweight” girl, she might be an athlete who’s struggling with an injury and/or her body image. and obviously, 3. why talk about her appearance – which again, isn’t permanent – rather than all the cool stuff she’s done? who cares if she’s put on a few pounds, the girl is a multi-medalist at the olympics and I’m sure she could kick everyone in the media’s ass at an athletic event. It’s not what your body looks like that matters, its what it can DO! Hopefully someday more people will realize this and the media trend will reverse….anyway, rant over. i hope you have an AWESOME weekend getting back together with your high school friends!! :-D
Kate @ Work in Progress recently posted..range of (e)motions

Reply

74 Cara May 19, 2012 at 2:17 am

I’m so happy for you and your new insights on recovery and school! And I’m jealous of all the blogger meet-ups you’ve been doing, AND that delicious ice cream! And I AGREE big time on the nursing vent (I get that a lot too with AP classes). And yay for shopping! I love shopping, but am always sort of hesitant to actually try on clothes and stuff, especially when I’m in weight-restoration mode. I don’t want what I see in the mirror to play out into my actions, and I don’t want a little “snug-ness” in the clothing to trigger irrational thoughts. But, I know that I have come far and I am allowed to have those fears and irrational thoughts, I just don’t want to act out on them.

And I love looking goofy in photos!
Cara recently posted..Are You Someone’s Favorite Person?

Reply

75 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Yeah I hear you on your views with shopping, it can be dangerous and negative either way, but thankfully I was feeling ‘okay’ about myself that time

Reply

76 Daybelis martinez May 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

I am so proud of you! I have been so bus that I haven’t had the time to comment on your past blog posts but believe me I read them every time you do post them because it’s like my ‘thought’ of the day. I can identify with you in s many ways and it alleviates me to know I’m the only one in this struggle. I am sure you will do great in nursing school because your perseverance and hard work are two qualities that can surpass anything. Also I love your choice of clothes, I used t hate shopping because of my ‘ fat ‘ feelings but now I am happy to see a woman with curves, to see myself glow, to live and laugh without worrying about my weight. You are beautiful and believe me only good things are in store for your future as long as you continue working towards a better you:)

Reply

77 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:34 pm

No worries of course lady, read and comment when you can and that is fineee :) Thank you as well for the lovely words

Reply

78 Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile May 19, 2012 at 10:08 am

Ahhh soo lucky you guys all got to meet up! MEeting bloggers is definitely a one of a kind experience :D I hope I get to meet you someday!
Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile recently posted..Catching Up

Reply

79 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm

That would be most wonderful Brittany, I would love to meet you!

Reply

80 Erica @ For the Sake of Cake May 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

I MUST try that brownie recipe!!!

As for this weekend… I have a family birthday get-together today, then tomorrow will be filled with usual weekend chores… grocery shopping, laundry, etc.
Erica @ For the Sake of Cake recently posted..Semi-Homemade Hot Pockets

Reply

81 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Sounds like a nice weekend to me, I hope the birthday get-together was enjoyable :)

Reply

82 Erin May 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

Hi :) This is my first comment on your blog but I’ve been reading it for the past few days and just have to say how well you have done with recovering from your eating disorder!
I’m only 15 and have been recovering since October 2010 and finally feel that it’s coming to an end and reading stories like yours helps so much :) Obviously you still have your struggles but I’m so glad to hear that you’re much happier now you’ve finished school (congratulations for graduating too!) I know that I find school an easy way to continue listening to my eating disorder so I cannot wait to finish next week!
I don’t know if you’re familiar with author and ED survivor Jenni Schaefer? If not then I highly recommend reading her books and also, she wrote a post for the Huffington Post a couple of days ago about todays society and body image that is so inspiring.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenni-schaefer/body-image-love-how-i-look-in-a-world-that-doesnt_b_1524282.html

I hate the way bodies are so criticised like Shawn Johnson- I mean come on- she is an incredibly talented, beautiful woman. Why should her talent be forgotten about because of a few extra pounds?

Thank you for all your posts anyway! They always make me smile and think about how much better life can be when not all consumed with ED :)
Erin recently posted..Amen!

Reply

83 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Hi Erin, Thank you so much for stopping by an taking the time to read my blog! It means a lot lady :) I am soooo dang happy for you that your recovery is going quite well! We of course know how incredibly hard this is and it’s great that both of us are persevering :) Also, thanks for the reading recommendations! I haven’t heard of her but I swill certainly look into her book and the article you sent as well
Thanks again Erin and good luck with everything!

Reply

84 Simply Life May 19, 2012 at 11:51 am

that combo from JP Licks sounds incredible!

Reply

85 Haley @ Health Freak College Girl May 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

that shawn johnson article made me so frustrated! she looks just as good in the before picture in my opinion. and then i scrolled down to the comments section (because that is sometimes the most entertaining) and everybody agreed that she looked just fine.
Haley @ Health Freak College Girl recently posted..honey lavender scones

Reply

86 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Oh I agree, comment sections of some articles I have read out there… well a whole range of material haha

Reply

87 Kelly @ Foodie Fiasco May 19, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I WANT THOSE BROWNIES NOW. They look soooo good.

There is so much good stuff in this post! The ice cream looks fabulous, I’m so glad you got a deal on some high fashion wear (go American Eagle!), and I would love a yankee candle!

Reply

88 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Mmm they really were good Kelly!

Reply

89 Ellie@Fit for the Soul May 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

omgoshness that’s oatmeal cookie ice cream?!!!! I bet it’s heavenly….:) And it’s so good to read about what’s been going on! I shout an amen to that truth. We need to accept ourselves the way God made us inside and out, b/c only then can we be real, vulnerable, and start a process of healing in whatever area we may need it in. And I was going to say very purty clothes you purchased!! And I’m in love with your outfit in that pic with the girls….the white pants+white shoes. I’ve been in love with my white shoes I got in Kauai :P Have a blessed day, love!
Ellie@Fit for the Soul recently posted..Cajun Spice Tuna Steak Recipe [A Trio of Dishes]

Reply

90 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:28 pm

It was soo heavenly :) And thanks for the compliments as well Ellie!

Reply

91 Kailey May 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

that makes me sick to think that shawn johnson – who has accomplished SO much felt like she wasn’t good enough body wise. This is a sick & twisted world…

Reply

92 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Mhmm I could not agree more Kailey, and helps to put things into perspective about what our society really is like!

Reply

93 Laura@keepinghealthy May 19, 2012 at 2:34 pm

So glad that the blog meet up went well! I love them it’s great to meet people in person. Love those shoes and I’m just the same with the Yankee candles! Hope your having a great weekend!

Reply

94 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Thank you Laura and I hope your weekend is going well too!

Reply

95 Paige @ Running Around Normal May 19, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Society does suck sometimes in that aspect.
On another note – I LOVE those shorts – esp with your new TOMS. Purrrty :)

Reply

96 Errign May 20, 2012 at 7:17 am

It’s funny – I am super short & my feet are really small and people always comment on how small they are…I’m like, they’re proportionate!
Errign recently posted..Graduation Things.

Reply

97 Sophie @ Love Live & Learn May 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I am so pleased to read a post with such a positive and hopeful vibe running through it! Yes you have little rants but if anything I’m happy that you feel you can rant, it’s your blog and therefore your space to do so. It sounds like you had a brilliant meet up :-) and I am hugely jealous of your tub of fro yo! It’s so hard to find in the UK grrr.

I love the new clothes you bought, shorts like that are the one item of clothing I still can’t convince myself to wear, I really admire people with the confidence to wear them and I know you will look fabulous girl! I loved shopping as a young teenager but since about the age of 15 it has been a massively stressful experience and I avoid it now, I love online shopping for that reason haha. I tend to prefer shopping for beauty products now :-)

Your blondies look so delicious, want to send me a tray? :-P I love scented candles, I just wish they weren’t so expensive. I find them so relaxing :-)

I hope you have a fantastic week Tessa, enjoy being home again!!
Sophie @ Love Live & Learn recently posted..Home Again.

Reply

98 tessa8m May 21, 2012 at 8:22 am

You always say just the nicest stuff to me Sophie, thank you so so much for that and I always treasure your wonderful words! I am sorry you had such negative experiences shopping :( but online shopping is a great substitute! I hope you had a nice weekend as well love!

Reply

99 tessa8m May 19, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Let me tell you, it was quite bad at times

Reply

100 tessa8m May 21, 2012 at 8:20 am

Friday is tough actually, I have an appt for something at such an awkward time. What about Thursday?

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge
Note: Commenter is allowed to use '@User+blank' to automatically notify your reply to other commenter. e.g, if ABC is one of commenter of this post, then write '@ABC '(exclude ') will automatically send your comment to ABC. Using '@all ' to notify all previous commenters. Be sure that the value of User should exactly match with commenter's name (case sensitive).

Previous post:

Next post: