23 Things I Learned in 23 Years

by tessa8m on November 11, 2012

in Serious Stuff

Dearest friends, how I have missed you! I will admit however, that I have not completely cut myself off from all of you these past three ish weeks… aka I have been reading some blogs here and there :) I want to stay caught up to an extent, as the clearly the break I am taking is not a permanent one, just a needed (temporary) hiatus. (**Right now, there is honestly nothing too interesting to update you on regarding the on-goings of my life, but soon I will return for a more detailed check in)

On that note, I will be popping in from time to time when I feel inspired, compelled or simply in the mood too, like today regarding a very important (to me) occurrence that only takes place one time per year…. MY BIRTHDAY! My 23rd to be exact, which was on November 8th!

I wanted to do something interesting on the ole blog to acknowledge my birthday and eventually decided on writing a “lessons” post… 23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 years. There is a whole mix of knowledge going on in this post- profound wise words, humor, sarcasm, truths and honesty… basically whatever thoughts I feel you ought to hear, important personal triumphs and losses, and genuine words that should continue to be taken to heart.

1) Only you are the person who can change your life. It’s scary as hell to change a situation that seems so correct, the only way to be, yet I knew my existence with this suppressing illness was simply not okay. It came down to ME making the choice to do something about it. Easy to do so? Hell no. Worth it? Certainly.

2) I will never have a completely flat stomach, defined abs… there will be parts of my body that are not “perfect” whatever the hell that means. I need to accept this and if I base my life around achieving this, I will forever be trapped in an endless, downward spiral where I am never “okay” and satisfied with myself.

3) Everything is not about ME. When someone is angry, irritated, mean, unfriendly… it is not because of ME (well not necessarily ;) ). I am not the cause of people’s irritation or anger. I don’t always need to walk on egg shells around others, be overly nice or act like a doormat for acceptance.

4) It’s essential to find a balance between selflessness and selfishness. We all know it’s important to help others in need, offer your aid when you can, do favors, give gifts, volunteer your services for the benefit of people in your life. AT the same time though, do not bee too selfless, as validating and expressing your needs is fine too. Declining and saying “no” to a favor is okay, you do not always have to be available or kiss up to others depending on the situation.

But then there’s the other side of the spectrum, selfishness. For years now, the eating disorder has made me a very selfish person, most often spurred by the illness. I can’t do favors for other people because it messes up my “oh-so-perfect-I-can’t-get-away-from” routine. The request might interrupt my special eating time, or delay me getting to the gym, make it necessary that I consume something different that I had planned to. Or how dare someone asks me to go out to dinner with them to a restaurant that has no “safe” options?! Exactly, unacceptable right?! (Notice how this hyper focuses my attention on food?)

My selfishness exacerbates when I turn to the eating disorder because the tighter I held onto it, the smaller my world became and the more I thought about ME ME ME. People simply were in the way of my restrictive, rigid, unrealistic routine, so shaking off those relationships seemed to be the only plausible solution.

So again, have to find that balance between those too two ideals… selfless while maintaining selfishness (to an extent) for yourself.

5) Forgive yourself.  As many attempts as you make to turn yourself into a better person, you will make lots of little mistakes and some very big mistakes. Also, do not forget about your past and what you have been through. It was not my choice to get this horrid eating disorder and while I at times I do blame myself for not being able to completely shake it, I must remember to give myself respect, forgiveness….

6) Thriving (rather than enduring) my life is the only option I will accept.

7) Do your very best to live in the moment. It’s okay to remember the past, or consider the future, but it’s your present life that is the most important… the people that are part of your daily schedule, the work you have now, the memories that are currently being made, the goals that are aiding you at this very moment. Live in the present, focus on that…. wishing away where you currently are sets you up for constant disappointment and dissatisfaction.

8) Baking while listening to an audio book might be my most favorite way to relax and unwind. (Why yes, I am a 90 year old woman at heart).

9) I will never consider myself a “healthy living blogger.” Of course that depends on what your definition of healthy living is and for me, it comes down to those silly moderation and balance concepts. However, the main reason is because my eating habits have always had the underlying goal of “weight loss” rather than nourishment for my body. For a while, I thought of myself as orthorexic because I only ate highly nutritious foods and avoided “unhealthy” ones at all costs. This diet of mine was a perfect way of masking my true intentions of losing weight and I chose such healthy foods because of their low-calorie numbers. Healthy living? not so much.

What about at this point? Well I guarantee you I eat some kind of dessert every.single.night. Fake sugars make appearances throughout the day (Diet Coke, how I love you). I consume plenty of packaged, artificial crap (Lucky Charms, chocolate covered pretzels, I am looking at you!). Sometimes in a 24-hour period I don’t see see a vegetable let alone eat one…. alright you get the idea here. I like nutritious foods but I also really love gummy candy, ice cream and Reddiwhip straight out of a can. Parts of the HLB world shun such tendencies and this drives me batty.

10) The ability to take responsibility for your actions, own up to your mistakes and admit when you are wrong are powerful characteristics to have. Not everyone will achieve this, some people will forever be in denial, hiding from and afraid of the truth… fearful of mistakes they make.

11) Finding a book that allows you to get lost in the pages, to be unable to put it down, is a true treasure. How re-readable the book is= major points too! On that note, the Harry Potter series will forever hold a very special place in my heart, especially when I re-read all seven books each and every summer :)

12) Comparison is and will always be the thief of joy. All that comparing has done for is to (at times) make me an angry, jealous, frustrated person who always looks to herself for internal and external flaws. The ability to love my true self will continuously elude me if comparisons to others is an ever-present action.

13) Unless you have the ability to read minds, you will never know what people are truly thinking or what is going on behind closed doors. This actually goes along with why NOT comparing is essential… you don’t know the full details of other people’s lives. This is a particularly difficult aspect of an eating disorder that I still struggle with.

Yes I am at a healthy weight, no longer am I looking like a half-starving person.. I do not look sick. Yet those (ED) thoughts are still present, I would be lying if I said they weren’t. Plus sadness is an emotion that unfortunately rears its ugly head more often than not. From the outside looking in though, you would never know.

14) Hard times allow you to see the people that are genuine, that you ought to keep around. When I went to college and was the most depressed and homesick I had ever been, I realized how much I loved and needed my mom and the rest of my family. The friends that have stuck by me despite my craziness, flaky tendencies, impulsive decisions and mood swings, are the ones to be remembered.

15) For a time, exercising and running became my best and essential methods for burning calories and along the way, I forget the core values and benefits of such activities. Through injuries, severe over-training, and a process of re-learning, my love for exercising and staying fit is finally (mostly!) belong the drive to lose weight. It’s also been nice to understand that I do not have to go balls-to-the-walls intense during each and every workout I do in order to see results. In fact, I was hindering my body for years and years while maintaining this incorrect mentality.

16) For many of us, or natural instincts are to primarily focus on our weaknesses, the qualities that we are hindered and upset by. But what about the side of the spectrum, our strengths? What would it be like to embrace and internalize those? We all have them and realizing our strengths allows for progression and self-fulfillment.

17) I am not as care-free, spontaneous, wild and crazy and “fun” as I used to be. And you know what? That is just fine. I have been through and continue to experience something that has dramatically changed me. Yes I am now more low-key, serious, and mature, but going through hell and back will change anyone.

18) It truly is alright to ask for help and it’s most certainly not a sign of weakness. With this recovery business, although success ultimately comes down to YOU and your choices, love and support from others is necessary to. I would not have progressed as afar as I have without my family, friends, therapist, doctors and so on. Again, I am not weak.

19) Fakeness, ingenuity is something I can no longer tolerate and be around. I used to act like the person that now irks me so… a gossiper, someone who talks behind “friends” backs, who was too coll for some, but then acted all rainbows and butterflies to their faces.This is complete crap and personal experiences have changed me from this former person I was and being around toxicity like that is in no way helpful.

20) Looking beyond the present to the future and what I want it to look like, lights a fire under my butt to do everything and anything possible to reach these goals. What is it I hope to achieve? Where do I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years? Do I want to be alone forever, or having my main focus of life be about FOOD and my weight? Heck no, and thinking about the future both frightens and inspires me. (This is separate from living in the moment, it’s a different time and way of looking at my future, just to clarify :) )

21) My physical body knows what’s best for me and is pretty darn smart. Sure my mind is illogical, irrational, and just plain incorrect at times, which leads me to make decisions that are often not the healthiest. On the other hand, my body fights for survival, it understands what needs to be done, and it’s my body that has the ability to suppress the irrational mind,

During the moments I deemed as weakness, those that for example ended in a binge, an uncontrollable desire to eat sweets, chocolate and all of those “forbidden” items I had deprived myself of for oh so long…. I hated myself, hated my body for turning against when I was wanted was to be SKINNY. Now though, I can comprehend that these moments were basic survival. My body was well aware of the restriction, the slow starvation I was putting it through, and it did everything to keep me alive.

I craved and NEEDED the substance that is necessary for survival, food.

22) As much as I would love for this to be true, I am not invincible, I am not he exception and eventually bad habits catch up. Between not having a period for 4 years (initially) because of nutrient/calories deficiencies, the muscles in my legs becoming injured and over-used to a point of horrible exhaustion, hair falling out, bad skin, weak nails… Those not-so-nice habits have a way of leading to sometimes irreversible, dangerous and painful consequences.

23) Do what makes ME happy… not the eating disorder, the person I used to be. At this point, I am not entirely sure who I am, what tickles my fancy, what I truly love to do. But I am figuring it out and embracing the unique person that I am.

Phew, as always this took me a heck of a long time to write, but honestly, I had a genuinely good time sitting down and really thinking about what I have learned, what I now value, and what is a part of me.

-What is the wisdom you have gained at your age?

-What sort of items would you add to a list like this?

-Tell me about your lives, what’s been happening?! Anything of particular note?

Again, I will be back again for more updates on what’s been happening around these parts… hopefully sometime this week! :) Enjoy your Sunday!

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{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Katie @ Peace Love & Oats November 11, 2012 at 11:31 am

I hope you had a great birthday, Tessa! You’ve learned a lot in 23 years!
Katie @ Peace Love & Oats recently posted..Freestylin’


2 Alex @ therunwithin November 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I wish I comment on each and every one of these because honestly I love them all. I think you have found a balance with those have tos and those want tos. I know you were one of the first blogs I read because you were so real and down to earth. heck, I have missed you a whole lot but I know you are living life and that is what I would rather see you doing. In 23 years you have come much further than the average 23 year old so i just hope when I turn 23 this December I can do the same sort of reflection. I hope you had a freaking amazing birthday, thinking of you always!
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted..Who’s There?


3 Khushboo Thadani November 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Ah great to see you back, Tess (even if it’s just temporary)! Wishing you a very happy birthday and hope the next 23 years are filled with even more wisdom! No experience is bad: it’s either a good experience or one that you can learn from…and this post is just proof of that!
Khushboo Thadani recently posted..Few of my favourite things…


4 Tara November 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

These are great Tessa!! I’m definitely saving this. Heck I might print them out and put them on my wall – I completely agree with each and every one!! One that really strikes me is the whole HLB thing. I find that the healthiest thing for me to do at this point in my life is reintroduce foods that I wouldn’t have dared to eat a couple of years ago and not feel like I absolutely have to eat vegetables if I don’t feel like it. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and that’s just what I need to do to feel healthy!
Tara recently posted..Giving it a Tri


5 danielle@Clean Food Creative Fitness November 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Love this post Tessa! I miss your posts! Glad to hear you’re doing well and you had a great birthday!
danielle@Clean Food Creative Fitness recently posted..Homemade Veggie Burgers


6 Antonia @ Health Inspirations November 11, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Happy belated 23rd birthday Tessa!!! Hope you had an amazing day :) This is a great post to commemorate your birthday. Hope all is going well with nursing school!!
Antonia @ Health Inspirations recently posted..Fried Lemon-Ricotta Gnocchi


7 lindsay November 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm

i love all your points tessa. I think the older we get, the wiser we get, thank GOD! I turn 30 this year and couldn’t be more excited. I’m boring, i like wine, and i love my husband.

Happy Belated!
lindsay recently posted..Soul Muscles


8 Bec November 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Happy belated birthday Tessa! Great to see another November baby out there (I’ve always been the youngest in my grade because of it). You sure seem like you’ve learned a lot in 23 years – that’s great! :) can’t wait to read an update xx
Bec recently posted..Veal Scallopini


9 Amy @ Living N Learning November 11, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Happy Belated Birthday!!
Amy @ Living N Learning recently posted..Getting Back To It


10 Lisa November 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I miss seeing your blog posts coming up but I’m glad you are doing well! Happy belated birthday, you are so wise for you age! And hope your day was superb!
Lisa recently posted..Comment on Friday Fun Facts by Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin


11 Kaitlin @4loveofcarrots November 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Happy Birthday!! Amen to number 8 and number 12 is sooo very true!! I love this, miss you in the blog world!!


12 Ben November 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I would have to add that 12 years ago today, I had a bleed in my (right) brain and was flown to the hospital for a 4-1/2 hour emergency craniotomy. This was followed by 6-weeks in a coma, with a HORRIFIC full-body rash that kept me alert almost continuously. I have come to realize that, that rash is the main reason that I came out of the coma after 6 weeks, finished High School on time, got my Associate’s degree, am doing my Bachelor’s (MGT/Entrepreneurship), can see my AMAZING future ahead, andn am just kickin-ass. All that has been accomplished with only ONE FUNCTIONAL arm and half a field of vision (nothing to the left!)!

So, I would have to say that the biggest piece of wisdom that I’ve learned in my 27 years is that:

1) EVEARYTHING happens for a reason (remember the email? Another is comin at you tmrw!)
2) Tough times never last, but tough ppl do! Trust me, Tessa, you are one of the toughest individuals most people will encounter in the ENTIRE lives!

Take care,


13 Kristin November 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

You go ben! I’m a neuro ICU nurse, and i feel like a cheerleader for any of you who push through these horrific incidents and come out on top. i took care of an 18 year-old today who is currently going through more than i ever had to at that age, so when i saw your comment i just had to say congratulations on your success and your amazing attitude


14 Ben November 15, 2012 at 8:30 am

Why thank you! As Tessa says frequently, I am motivated, encouraged, and inspired, by comments like yours!

15 Vien November 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Happy belated birthday Tessa!!!! Missing your inspirational posts and absolutely enjoyed reading this one!! :) X
Vien recently posted..Mango with Sticky Rice


16 Sam @ Better With Sprinkles November 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I’m pretty sure I let out an audible squeal when you popped up on my blog reader!

Glad to see that you’re doing well Tess! It definitely looks like you’re learning a lot. I have trouble with the HLB label too, considering that my love of chocolate, cookies and the fact that I have no problem with eating fast food on occasion. But in my mind, that is healthy!

And happy belated birthday!! Hope it was absolutely fabulous. <3
Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted..Wanna Eat Some Cookies?


17 Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries November 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Yay! I’ve missed you! Happy Birthday pretty lady! I hope it’s been a special day for you! xoxo
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..It Kinda Feels Like Christmas Morning…


18 Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin November 11, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Big yes to all of these! Especially #1. There are so many times in my life when I let myself become depressed (when I was overweight in high school, during my ED, when I was unhappy in my previous degree…) but each time I learned that the only person who could get me out of those situations was ME! Sometimes my mood still gets down, but now that I’ve realized I have the power to change it, I never let myself stay unhappy for too long!

And you know my thoughts on the HLB label. ;)

Can’t wait to hear about your birthday! I hope it was fabulous! xoxo
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..Apples to applesauce


19 Hollie November 11, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I loved to see you blogging today. I also (as always) really love this post. So much of it is so relatable. I think I am one of the least “fun and exciting” people come weekend nights. I’d rather just curl up and relax versus going out to some big shindig. It’s all good and happy belated birthday!
Hollie recently posted..Working it


20 Alexandra November 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

This post gave me the biggest smile, Tessa! You have absolutely NO IDEA how proud of you I am–just reading these words makes me realize just how far you’ve come mentally over the years. It’s awe-inspiring to say the least!
Here’s to many more amazing life lessons and many more amazing birthdays!! :) Sending a HUGE belated b-day hug your way!!
Alexandra recently posted..Where do you get your carbs?


21 Amanda @ .running with spoons. November 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Awwr Happy Birthday Tessa! Hope it was an awesome one :D Loved reading about all of the things you learned – I can definitely relate to a lot of them. I’m actually having a really hard time finding my own niche in the whole HLB community because I don’t exactly adopt the typical HLB lifestyle or diet. But heck, the most important thing is to do what works for you, right? Labels are pretty darn useless when it comes to things like that.

Hope you’re doing well, hun! <3
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted... laughter is the best medicine .


22 Laura @ LauraLivesLife November 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Happy Birthday lady. It’s great to see a post – take care of yourself!
Laura @ LauraLivesLife recently posted..Five Things Friday: Someecards Edition


23 Ben November 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

OMG, I almost forgot to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Well, there you go!…;-)


24 Sarah November 11, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Aw, I’m glad you had a good birthday and it seems like you’re doing well! Can’t wait for the next post so we can see what you’ve been up to in the past couple weeks :)
Sarah recently posted..Training Recap: REGIONALS!


25 Jess November 12, 2012 at 4:04 am

Happy Birthday! Number 3 on your list I have learnt the hard way big time! I wish I had learnt it at 23! Stick by these values and you will be so much happier. My biggest life lessons enjoy the present and where you are at now. Spend time with those you love often, as you never have enough time. And toxic people are just that, keep away and don’t look back.
Jess recently posted..Working out with small children


26 Natasha November 12, 2012 at 8:27 am

Tessa I really enjoyed this post. It is just amazing to see how far you have come along!

This school year I have come to quite a few realizations especially in regards to my physical health….

My body is pretty happy at the weight I am currently. If i gained a couple of pounds it would be fine, but I’m actually doing alright and I need to get rid of the desire to lose weight.

I can’t eat the way I used to. If I skip a meal, I will pay for it later. Always. Plus, I get these really nasty headaches now if I skip meals, which I never had before. I guess my body knows whats up ;)

I don’t need to exercise every singe day, or even every other day. It detracts from my school work and my social life. If I’m sick, I also won’t workout, whereas I used to before. I have also shortened my workouts along with the intensity. Sometimes, I’ll just go for a walk, and that is fine by me. I don’t need to be a slave to exercise.

Also, be true to myself. I am a social person, but I’m not a night person and I hate to be cold. So my ideal Friday night is not braving the cold in a miniskirt to go to a house party. Instead, I’d rather stay home with a few friends and hang out, or I will even go to bed early. I like sleep :)

Nowadays, I don’t care at all about what others think of me. Anything I do, I will do for myself without the pressure of the outside world. People love me for who I am and not my pant size. I mean, I had more fun and friends when I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am today….strange how that works.

I hope to see some of your blog posts again soon, but I’m glad you took a break. Sometimes it is nice to distract your mind from blogging and focus on real life :)

Natasha recently posted..WIAW


27 Natasha November 12, 2012 at 8:28 am

How could I forget…

Go eat a slice of much deserved cake and have a blast. You are only 23 once :)
Natasha recently posted..WIAW


28 Ben November 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

One more thing I must add. I’ve learned in my almost 27 years, that experience is a hard teacher, because she gives you the test fiirst and the lesson later. Hope youre birthday was fantiastic!


29 Nikki November 12, 2012 at 10:07 am

You are wise beyond your years, my dear! Also, I really need to jump on the audio book train! Hope you had a great birthday!
Nikki recently posted..December Dreaming


30 Ashley Mammel November 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

Happy Belated Birthday Beautiful! What a wonderful post, I am smiling from ear to ear, it seems like you have learned SO much in the past 23 years! Thank you for sharing all your nuggets of wisdom with us!


31 Kat @ a dash of fairydust November 12, 2012 at 11:48 am

First of all,Tessa,I HAVE MISSED YOU,TOO! I thought about you so much,wondered how you’re doing and everything… BUT in the end,it sounds like the “break” you took from the blogosphere was good for you and that is all that counts! :) Also,if you don’t post as often,it will become more special and therefore something to really really look Forward to every time – only to remind myself of the positiv aspect,you know? ;)
Reading your post,it’s hard to believe you’re only 23 because you’ve so much experience already and your advice sounds quite wise. I especially love how you underline it’s OKAY to not be as care-free and light-hearted as others maybe; it’s OKAY to be more mature. After all,what would a fake laugh give ourselves? Nothing,really… And as Long as you’re still able to laugh from time to time and be happy and stuff,who cares? You are you,and being mature doesn’t mean you can’t have fun! :D


32 caloricandcrazy November 12, 2012 at 5:55 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Glad you posted again ^^
caloricandcrazy recently posted..Athena, Bella & Me


33 gram November 12, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Hi, my Tessa,
I really enjoyed your 23 lessons learned. We are very much alike. We should have a nice quiet chat alone, or, maybe Mom can join us. It would be interesting to have a generational gab fest. I love you and am so proud to have you as my Granddaughter. You are beautiful inside and out.
Hugs & kisses from Gram


34 Alix November 12, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Dear Tessa,
Wow. All I can say is… Wow. I’ve read your blog over the past few months and have commented I think only once, when a post especially resonated with me. However, this post is overwhelming in how wise, mature, and FRICKIN AWESOME you are!

Reading this, so much resonated with me. Particularly the part about how you are no longer as spontaneous as you once were, but that’s OK because you’ve been through hell and back with your eating disorder and struggles with depression. I think it is beyond amazing that you can look at yourself so objectively, see that you’ve changed, and accept that change.

I read your blog because I can relate in so many ways, as being roughly your age, finishing up college, and having really struggled throughout to learn more about myself. I’ve been through the ED crap and, more powerfully, the depression crap, and I feel like I’m finally coming out on the other end. Reading your last couple posts makes me think that you’ve reached a new “level” in your life, as well. Obviously, I can’t know that as an outsider looking in (as you yourself point out!) but I can’t help but think that you are seriously on the right track.

Anyway, thank you so much for this beautiful, insightful post. I hope you are able to see what a strong and incredibly intelligent woman you are!

- Alix


35 Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance November 12, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Eeee! I was so excited to see that you posted :D

I’m so glad to hear that all is going well and that you had a good birthday. I especially love #1. Making the decision to change your circumstance is the first and most important step towards healing, but is SO hard to actually conquer!
Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance recently posted..Cinnamon Smashed Sweet Potatoes


36 Rachel @ Eat, Learn, Discover! November 13, 2012 at 1:03 pm

So great to see a post from you! And happy (belated) birthday! These are all *such* valuable lessons – especially #23, 1 (and 11!). It always makes me happy to see others settle into themselves, and of course I wish you well in everything! I hope nursing school isn’t being too hard on you.
<3 R


37 Kailey November 13, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Oh dear gosh I really need to realize that 99% of the time it is NOT about me. Just because someone is mad/upset it had NOTHING to do with me. I’ll admit that I am oversensitive in so many ways.

I’d laugh if someone called me a HLB – if only they new my true love for Poptarts & Little Debbie Brownies ;) Sometimes I feel like such a fake in my major, but girls gotta fuel haha
Kailey recently posted..Lose, Win


38 Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table November 13, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Happy, Happy Birthday! I love all of these lessons. you are an amazing person, and I can’t wait to see what you continue to accomplish.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Work It Out 1.5


39 Brittany November 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! YAAYAYA! These words of wisdom are great! I can agree with SO many of these! I must say something I have recently learned is that I always need to forgive myself and grow from my mistakes. I can’t beat myself up over things that I can’t change!


40 Stellina @ My Yogurt Addiction November 14, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Happy belated birthday girl!! Love this post!
Stellina @ My Yogurt Addiction recently posted..Pumpkin Whoopie Pies with Marshmallow Filling


41 Karla November 15, 2012 at 6:53 am

Love this! You are so wise! I have learned that if I continue to look to the world to tell me who to be, I will continue to have Ed. The world tells me I need to eat less, workout more, avoid ‘bad’ foods, weigh as little as possible, eat clean… Blah blah blah. I have learned that I know what I want and I know how to be healthy and free… I just need to embrace my inner wisdom and listen and TRUST that!
Karla recently posted..Purging thoughts


42 Kelly@ShapeDaily November 15, 2012 at 9:40 am

I was so glad to look at your page and see a new post! Glad everything is going well, and Happy 23rd Birthday! I seriously love #12. It is such a hard thing to truly wrap your head around and not let yourself think about, but I completely agree and have really been trying hard to be the best “me” possible rather than comparing myself to others- which can never lead to anything good. Also, #23 is awesome too :)
Kelly@ShapeDaily recently posted..10 Tips for Reducing Anxiety


43 Rach November 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

This is such a great list, girl! I definitely had to learn most of these lessons for myself as well as I grew into my 20s. Happy birthday, friend!
Rach recently posted..Talking about that Precious Pup


44 Sophie @ Love Live & Learn November 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I’ve missed you too Tessa!! I ended up taking a little blogging break too, I’m hoping to be able to blog a little more regularly again now.

I hope you had a fantastic birthday :-)

This is such a wonderful post, you really have some great messages for us :-) I need to learn to live by numbers 5,7 and 12 more, and 11 is definitely something I believe in! Thank you for writing this lovely!

My life has been pretty tough over the last year and a half and I’ve been particularly ill for the past few weeks – struggling this much always reminds me how important it is not to take your health for granted when things are good! Also that you can make yourself happy with very little, even when things seem dark and bleak there is always a little ray of hope and joy somewhere :-)
Sophie @ Love Live & Learn recently posted..Look Who’s Back!


45 laura November 15, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Happy Belated Birthday Tessa!
I’ve missed your posts, and hearing from you so thanks for the little update . Your wisdom is so inspiring and I can truly relate, as can so many others.
laura recently posted..Restore


46 Devon @ Health in Equilibrium November 17, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Oh I’m glad you’re back! A few of these things really resonated with me. #4 is a big one for me. I became so obsessed with my ED that I would resent anyone who threatened to come in the way of the structure I had set up for myself. I was grumpy if something or someone got in the way of a meal-time or workout or even generously gave me some type of food that I deemed scary. I hurt other people because I actually felt they were there to sabotage ME; so self-centred.

I also wanted you to know that I have been following your blog for a long time and you were one of the first people who made me take a look at my life and admit I had a problem. You were also a big inspiration for me to start my own recovery and (new today) my own blog!! Please check it out, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Devon @ Health in Equilibrium recently posted..New to This


47 Madison @ Pilates Makes You Happy November 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Tessa! I am so glad you are back! Your wisdom is outstanding, thanks for sharing.. I appreciate it!
Madison @ Pilates Makes You Happy recently posted..The Best Laid Plans


48 Kathleen @ Kat's Health Corner November 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

One thing I’ve learned (or really just realized) how much my mom has done for me for the past 17 years of my life. She has always been there for me, she has worked to pay for my schooling, taught me, encouraged me to be my best self, and has never given up on me. She has given me the tools to become independent, taught me to be a hard worker, and to remember the Lord in everything I do. I don’t know what I would do without her in my life.

Happy 23rd Birthday, Tessa. :)
Kathleen @ Kat’s Health Corner recently posted..Free Viewing of “Food Matters” + Workouts + Thankfulness


49 WOWU December 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

Hi there! This post was fantastic! I write for a company called WOWU (Work Out With Us) and I have been browsing other blogs to get involved with the community, but this post has been one of the few that touched me. Great thoughts, great wisdom, and 23 things we all should remember. Thank you for your words. Check us out if you’d like!



50 Jackie Benitez January 7, 2013 at 1:25 am

I´m 21 and the wisdom I have gained is that you must stay with the people who encourage you to be a better version of yourself, there´s one activity in life (for me running) that changes your life forever it is important to know which one it is and feed our soul and that sometimes it is okay to change your mind and shake up your life a little bit :)
Jackie Benitez recently posted..Tus primeros 10k


51 tessa8m January 8, 2013 at 10:58 am

Thank you for your thoughts on this Jackie! Shake up life a bit… absolutely true and something I continue to work on :)


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