Readers, Friends, anyone that happens to come stumble upon my blog, hello! It’s safe to say I have missed you 
A new post is actually coming out much later than I hoped it would, but you know how things go around this time especially…busy busy busy! Whether you are in school right now and are experiencing finals (a joyous occasion am I right?!), are doing the holiday scramble, bombarded with work and so on, it is the time of year that we stretch ourselves just a bit thinner than we would prefer.
Long story short, I have been busy, making my blog less and less of a priority, my creativity/will to write dwindles, and I have to keep staying far away from these parts. I find that if I even start dwelling on blogging and all that goes into it, I feel exasperated by all that “must” be done (commenting on other people’s sites, responding to emails/comments, writing posts that take me MUCH longer than they ought to) and once again, the excitement of it all diminishes. Refusing for this to happen has been difficult, aka taking a legit break has been odd!
I’m not saying anything new here and with that, I realize those first two paragraphs were quite unnecessary…. ahh well today is a perfect day for rambles, nonsense really. I need to get some THOUGHTS and whatever else out of my head, the need to journal is an activity that is taking precedence in my mind at this time. Hence today is perfect for a Thursday Thoughts post, one that has no cohesive flow, poor writing, numbered points… the best kind at times like these
***I will be back commenting and catching up on everyone’s blog this weekend, just to let ya know (Well when I want a break from studying!)
1) Relating to what I stated above, the busy time of year business, my brain does in fact resemble mush at this point, and silly silly things like this entertain me to no end.
How great is this?! I was giggling about it for several minutes, although it could be the mushy brain/easily entertained thing.
2) In my last post I talked a bit about participating in Tina’s Best Body Bootcamp and I have continued to sincerely love her program! My thoughts are the same as last time, having a workout schedule has allowed me to work my body hard, yet not go balls-to-the walls nuts/Tabata/HIIT style workouts day in and day out. There is a balance in the routines and how they are spread out, something I have been seeking for so long now, yet seemingly unable to attain for myself.
This was the reason I started BBB, because I knew what my goals were, to stay fit, healthy, without going over the top in either direction, and the program helped me to both understand and achieve this. Guess what? You can see and feel results with just a few hard workouts per day as opposed to 7 days/90 or so minutes per session. And you know what else happens (or doesn’t in this case), you don’t gain 10, 15, 20 pounds from letting your body rest when it needs and ought to.
I am planning to sign up for the next round, beginning in January, and I can’t wait for it to start once again!
3) My Google reader has never been higher with unread posts that it is today. I haven’t looked at in weeks now, though I do continue to read certain blogs that are bookmarked, and we are talking in the 1000s here… had to click all as read 
If I missed anything of crucial importance, I must know (please ha), or else I will probably find out when I read your blog again
4) To follow up with the workout chit-chat, as much as I would like to say I am at ease with the balance needed between fitness, relaxing, eating, a LIFE, etc, errr I’m not. Well duhh I suppose then I would be technically “recovered…” I guess?. This is something I have opened up about before, but sitting for extended periods of time, propels me into a mental downward spiral. The longer I sit with no activity- walking, workouts, standing to break it up, the more my anxiety, restlessness and angst rises. It’s as if I can feel the weight coming up, my butt getting flat, the endurance and strength simply leaving my body.
Logically I understand that these things are NOT in fact happening and that, while nobody should sit for too long (as it’s simply not good for you overall), it is fine to when you lead an otherwise active, (working on) balanced lifestyle! But then again, when has the logical side of my mind ever been the dominant factor in my life in the past 6 years or so? The illogical, “eating disorder” voice is the one that too-often takes over, lessening in intensity at times, yet still a prevalent aspect.
Today for example, I happen to be sitting much of the time, and I can feel the annoying antsy feelings arising within me. Yes it’s my choice right now to be sitting on my badonk and not moving, but I really could do without the relentless, knocking side of me, telling me to move my fat ass and do some activity. NO damn it, I want to finish this!
I told you this post was a perfect “Thursday Thoughts” one, this is all going on inside me right now.
5) While typing out the sentence with the word “prevalent”in there, I now realize I say the word quite incorrectly, pree-vale-ent. Wrong. Prev-a-lent. Tangent.
6) I meant to vacuum my car before it got dark out today. Somehow I managed to forget that it now gets dark before 4:30. <– Evidence of brain fart, or perhaps I am simply lazy. The latter fo sho.
7) Soo uhh I am aware Thanksgiving was about 3 weeks ago, but I never talked about mine! Well it was a delight and by now I don’t feel like going into details and I’m sure you are also quite over reading about Turkey Day. So instead, how about some pictures to showcase the day,
8) Classes ended last Wednesday. Tomorrow is my last day of my current clinical rotation. Monday the 17th at 8:30 am, my cumulative final begins and by 11 am it will be over. I AM ALMOST DONE with my first semester of nursing school! It’s difficult to express the sincere joy that saying this allows me to feel, take my word for it, pretty gosh-darn awesome (Harsh language, sorry about that 
)
Let me just say, it’s been a very tumultuous and difficult last few months… in more ways than one, yet school playing the starring role in this show. I knew there was going to be a lot of work, that I would be essentially “selling my soul” to the program, having no life, no fun, blah blah blah.
But was not expected though was the tenacious, constant negativity from those who had no business acting in such a way, something I have talked about several times over. Additionally, just because I studied my ass off for an exam, did NOT mean I would receive what I consider to be a decent grade. For anyone that is/was a nursing student, knows exactly what I am talking about here. The questions on tests are partly asking what you know about whatever the topic is, yet you must find the right answer in the question that applies what is being asked. Perhaps this sounds easier than I am making it, and for some it likely is. For me though, I continue to struggle with these exams… again it’s not the material, but in the manner it’s be asked. It basically comes down to this:
My knowledge certainly hasn’t been reflecting my exam grades (for the record, I am not failing or close to it), and it has been beyond frustrating. Practice practice practice these questions is what I must continue to do, especially in preparation for next semester, maternity! I hope those few NCLEXX books I dished out the billzzz for help out!
9) Now you would think after all of my lamenting about school I would be in fact studying for the final exam… nope. Today I have decided blogging is a great idea instead as is BAKING. Oh baking, how I have missed you and because it relaxes and soothes me, I am taking a mental health day, not studying and doing everything else I feel like doing. Aka blogging, baking, pinteresting, and eventually working out. <– Crazy lifestyle I lead, you don’t have to tell me.
My latest baking creation, this cake!
Psst, it’s a giant Oreo. I wish I could say I came up with such a brilliant cake idea, but alas, this is not the case. I believe it’s a Kraft original recipe, but I did add my own twists and turns… which really means I made the cake part from scratch as opposed to a box mix, it counts right?! This cake is for my mom’s friend’s birthday party tonight (oreos make her swoon), so although I won’t be able to try it, I will get the full report and ratings. The batter and coolwhip/cream cheese mixture in the middle were taste-tested for optimal flavor by yours truly, and I assure you, it was flippen fantastic.
10) The blog world… still having some thoughts on all of that. In my reasons for a hiatus post, I talked about my recently growing qualms with parts of the blog world and unfortunately, they have not gone away. Yes I have been staying away (for the most part) these last few weeks, yet I do tune in at times and through various sources (number one being a particular website that many people ehhmm strongly dislike), the reality of some blogs out there has become clear.
Ones I used to worship, want to be, are no longer blogs I follow because I have “seen the light” or at least been clued into just how disordered in terms of food, body image, workouts, etc, really are. Not just the “big bloggers” either, but ones I stumble upon where I have to immediately click away from at the risk of being triggered by the too-thin writer claiming to love SALAD and FITNESS, clean food and all of that, oh and they are never hungry and have trouble gaining weight. Riiiiigggghhhhttt.
Again, I am being somewhat repetitive here, but it’s a major peeve of mine at this time, and this new view is allowing me to finally understand aspects of myself that are not in fact okay. BTW I am NOT saying I am innocent on this, but I am taking a second look. Elaboration on this will likely come in the future
11) On a more upbeat note, I love clementines right now and no, not just because they are good for you. I bought a hefty size box of them just a few days ago and well, when you eat 5-7 per day, those suckers go fast! A whole lot more economical than buying berries if I want me some fruit at this time. (1/2 pint of blueberries for $4.99?! I.don’t.think.so)
12) I am trying my hand at making homemade Monkey Bread today for the staff at the hospital where I have rotations… celebration of last day and all. Psyched for the challenge, plus Monkey Bread holds a very special childhood (junk food) memory in my heart… I used to tear through this stuff with gusto. A buttery, cinnamon-sugar glaze poured over/incorporated into biscuits that are rolled, baked and then can be easily pulled apart? Little else is better than this.
However, I haven’t eaten monkey bread since childhood (for reasons I am sure you can guess), and I no longer bake items I don’t try… well the exception being the cake above or other such circumstances. I am challenging myself to eat a honkin peace tomorrow MORNING (<–incredibly difficult for me to have “scary food” so early on), because I must remember it’s quite fine too. Plus I have a feeling it’s going to be real delish.
13) Caleb gets cuter, friendlier and BIGGER each and everyday! He is wonderfully friendly with anyone and actually likes being around big crowds. For example, we brought him to our Thanksgiving shindig where there were nearly 15 people present, and he was front and center whenever he could be. He loves the attention and we all enjoy giving it to him… it’s safe to say he has taken over the house
Right in the middle of my mom’s queen size bed, yeah he knows what he is doing here.
14) The last four posts of mine including this one have all been in listed/numbered form. Now I am not so sure how I am feeling about this… this patter must stop! Haha while I enjoy this method, my long-butt essay style posts hold a special place in my heart. I am sure I could come up with something good soon, especially since school is over soon and I can properly think once again!
15) Speaking of childhood favorites, I am seriously considering getting this tattoo…
The Lion King, and that movie and I go way back! I would never actually get a tattoo behind my ear or for that matter, anywhere above the belly button. I am not against tattoos by any means and have always wanted one yet would need to find something truly significant to me in order to make it a permanent addition on my body. The Lion King… well this movie gives me comfort, it helped me stay happy when I was younger, I was obsessed with it, saw the show on broadway, ahhh this movie equals pure JOY in my mind. Perhaps some of you are scoffing at this idea, but it’s (almost) officially on the to-do list.
****************
Soooo I started this post around 3 pm and with breaks, errands to be run, baking to be complete and lack of enthusiasm at times, I am now finishing it up by 10 pm. Yikes. I really ought to be getting to bed anyway, LAST clinical tomorrow (yay!) although that involves arriving there at 6 am (boo!). Before I go though, some questions if you care to answer… I would love to hear anything from you, missin you all like I said. And no, not just saying that
-What are some tangents/”Thursday Thoughts” that you have to share today?
-Regarding the blog world and tell me honestly, am I being too sensitive with all of this and losing my marbles a bit with all of this speculation, or has anyone else noticed a shifting trend? It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can’t say I like it.
-Is there a particular baked good that reminds you of childhood, or at least spurs happy thoughts?! Monkey bread among tons of others- DD Cinnamon roles/Boston Cremes/Crullers, Turkey Hill Cookie Dough ice cream, Entemanns anything… healthy child to say the least.
-Would you ever get a tattoo? What would it be and where on your body? If you have one, tell me about it!
If you stumble upon this post it will probably be on Friday so happy (almost) weekend everyone! I will be back sooner than later and I am psyched about it
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Tessa,
A blog is like a newspaper. You choose to read if it entertains you, interests you, or if you sympathize with its beliefs and values, etc. I don’t have an issue with someone saying they want to be thin upfront and providing their lifestyle to achieve that. It may be of value to some people, and we know it is. What i have an issue is when there is hypocrisy, when someone portrays themselves as healthy and wanting health and balance while at the same time behaving and acting the opposite way. This is misleading and this is lying, and plenty of blogs fit that bill.
Do I like any childhood baked goods? Hmm, maybe when my mummy used to make me crepes. Favorite thing in the world!
Would I get a tattoo? I have been hesitating and for now decided to go against it. It’s almost like I want to keep mt body “pure” and the popularity of tattoos nowadays sort of turned me off, because I would be getting one, like “everybody else”. It feels like today it’s more common to have a tattoo than not to have a tattoo and that there is more of a statement in the absence of a tattoo than in the presence of a tattoo. Well, at least that’s what I think tonight. It may change.
Good that you’re still blogging a bit!
Francoise
Ahhh yes the hypocrisy, exactly the word I was searching for and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention. Misleading, lying goodness YES
I do appreciate your views on tattoos and totally get them! Like you said, ya never know what may change your mind
I saw this in my reader and couldn’t believe it. man I love hearing from and am so proud of you for all you have done in this time span. nursing school is tough and you are handling it so well. I can’t believe the first semester is almost over for you a break is well deserved missy, well deserved. on the blog front, I have done a lot of growing myself on finding which ones to not read. I like you probably read the website that you are talking about and actually it helps me, it makes me realize how unrealistic a lot of what people put out there are and how not normal it is. what I kept forgetting was that the average person does not workout x amount of days, eat only clean,etc. I needed that reminder so I was less hard on myself. Just to let you know you are not alone and taking a step back was worth it in the end. have a great day and hopefully hear more from you this weekend. you are still always on my mind!
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted..My Beloved Trade-em Up
You are so kind Alex, and thank you for continuing to read zeee ole blog here
Glad to hear that you have done some growing yourself… I do feel like with blogging it just takes time to find your nitch in there, and your true “voice” and viewpoints/opinions as well. I know it’s still a work in progress for myself! And you’re right, the difficult expectations we put on ourselves… well just not helpful in the slightest
Anyway, I hope you have a very nice weekend!
Even though I knw you are still struggling, you sound so much healthier. I’m so glad for and update, and whatever you have to do to be healthy is best, regardless if anyone agrees with you or not.
I worry sometimes that my blog is triggering (or one that you are referencing above), but while it isn’t my intention, that isn’t necessarily what matters. It’s about what frustrates you, and I think you saying that you aren’t going to do it because if the pressure you feel is the important part. It’s not about the intention or lack thereof, but how it affects you, and you don’t have to be controlled by what you think other people think you should do (confusing, right?). You are taking control and saying you won’t read them because they make you feel that way. If it helps, then that is what is important, whether you are being overly sensitive or not.
Good luck with school, lady – and let us know, when you can, how everything is going. XO
Nooo no I was not saying your blog and honestly I am more grouping some together rather than singling out a few. I just would never do that, wouldn’t help anyone, but I still need to get my thoughts out around this. I do get what you are saying, you certainly have insight and understanding into all of this woman!
You know I agree 100% with you about what you said about the blog world! I already had so many qualms about it, but that “disliked site” really opened my eyes even further. I feel like I’m a LOT less influenced by blogs now and I make sure to take everything I read with a grain of salt.
And holy cow that Oreo cake looks AMAZING! Please come fly to Ontario and bake it for me for my birthday in May?
Haha. I’m glad you gave yourself a day off to just bake and relax – you deserve it girl! Nursing school sounds flipping tough. You’re almost done the semester though so hang in there! 
Also, did you get my latest email??
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..Our kitchen peace treaty
haha yes I knewww you would agree miss Chelsea, you have been my very favorite person to talk to lately about all of this
And yes I did get your email, so dang sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I know you are probably rolling your eyes right now because I say that every.single.time and yeah, no real excuses other than the busy thing… but there is always time for an email! Allow me one more day to get back to you m’dear 
Thanks for the well-wishes too and have a nice weekend!!
Wahoo! It was nice to see your blog in my Google Reader again! I am loving the picture of Caleb… so cute. Cats bring so much happiness into our lives, huh?! Good luck with your nursing exam and keep pushing through the negativity!
Allie recently posted..Medicine and other things
They really do, I am so thankful for this special guy
Thanks for the well-wishes Allie!
So nice to see a post from you! Congrats on being almost done with the semester! We should try to meet up while you are on break. I miss reading your posts!
danielle@Clean Food Creative Fitness recently posted..Chocolate Chip Protein “English Muffin”
Yesss I believe the Boston crew could use a reunion and I am quite free in January!
I’m always so giddy when you pop up in my reader Tessa!!
You are absolutely not being too sensitive Tessa, I have a lot of similar qualms with the blogworld. Because there’s no sense of regulation whatsoever, a lot of seriously disordered women are able to parade themselves around as “oh em geeeee Im so healthy!! Salads and egg whites for every meal and running 8 miles a day!” No. That is not health – that is obsession and disorder.
Days to relax are 100% necessary during finals – I don’t have exams, but I had 3 final papers between 15-20 pages each…it’s been a rough week! Taking hours (or an entire day) for my sanity has been 100% necessary.
I definitely support the idea of a tattoo! My current count is four: a four-leaf clover behind my ear (I actually love it there, I don’t wear my hair up too often so it stays hidden. I forget it’s there half the time!), a bee on my hip (part of an old family crest on my mom’s side) the phrase “love myself first” on my side (got that one when I started therapy and taking my recovery seriously) and the word “princess” with a heart and a crown on my lower leg (simply because I’m a princess. Duh :-p). I’ll warn you though, they’re kind of addictive! You’ll get one, and you’ll leave the tattoo parlour thinking about which one you want to get next. I love the idea of a Lion King tattoo, that’d be adorable. My boyfriend has never seen that movie, something I consider tragic. I’ll have to make him watch it with me over Christmas.
Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted..Five Thing Friday.
Aww woman you are too kind, thank you for continuing to read my blog, seriously! And yeah, we are definitely on the same page with views on some blogs, in fact there are many people here concurring with s! I am loving your tats as well! The four leaf clover one sounds cute… I would get one there but I do wear my hair up way often so yeah, wouldn’t be alright
Yikes about those papers, I hope they are almost done! Enjoy the rest of your weekend Sam
I’m glad to see you doing well and a bit less stressed. I cannot even imagine finishing a semester of nursing school…as I said I nearly failed anatomy LOL. (That class is intense though!). Anyways, I like the idea of that tattoo and I hope you find something that is of serious significance. I always thought a tattoo would be cool but def somewhere that I could easily hide and didn’t want parading around all the time.
HollieisFueledByLOLZ recently posted..Driving and Chilling
You too plenty of in-depth stuff with public health too woman… different of course, but still advanced! I actually miss studying PH right now, I never ever thought I would say that lol
Welcome back Tess- always good to see you posting! I completely agree with you about some of the bloggers out there! I’ve had to stop reading quite a few of them because of how alarming some of their actions were! There is more to life than eating “clean” (hate that word) and exercising but I felt for some of them, those were their ONLY focuses in life! Especially for those kinds of bloggers, I actually think that blogging might be a bad idea as it only continues to fuel their habits…sometimes a step back can work wonders!
Khushboo Thadani recently posted..Friday Favorites: Landan Style
Ugh yessss that clean eating word makes me quite ragey, I can’t believe I forgot to mention in my post. But yes, also glad you are agreeing with me on this too!
I think that tattoo is actually super adorable. I don’t think you’re over-reacting about those types of blogs. Obviously we don’t have to read them, and those people don’t have a responsibility to be role models, but something about it just seems wrong on a fundamental level, especially when the comments are full of praise. I think “healthy living” blogging might actually trap them into their habits thinking this is the only acceptable way to live. But if you shut that blog off, you’re just left with your life and you have to look at it. Anyway, getting too deep here.
Enjoy your last day!!
Yes yes Sara, you put this very well… articulated my thoughts! It’s the role model thing, and pretending everything is super duper awesome… FAKENESS, is what drives me the most bonkers.
I love seeing your blog posts pop up
. Don’t feel bad about not writing as much but it’s nice to keep up with your life sometimes. As far as it goes with me… I PRed in the half marathon, went on a cruise, came back and PRed in a 5K. Besides that things are about like always, hehe. I have also stopped following some blogs for periods of time because they made me feel less worthy or bad about myself- you gotta do what’s right for you and ultimately it’s just a blog! It’s not your life.
I’m glad nursing school is going well but will be happy for you to have a break from it! The tests sound intense and all the clinical work has to be tiring as well.
Looks like you had a great Thanksgiving and that cake looks delicious too!
Amy Lauren recently posted..Pajamas: Perfect for sleep, working from home, and now running (Pajama Run 5K recap)
Wahoooo so many great things going on for you right now Amy! Love hearing about those PRs, congratulations, you most certainly deserve them
off to catch up your blog right now!
First off, monkey bread is delicious…but that cake looks like it could be the most heavenly thing ever made. Secondly, love the pictures! And lastly — that first picture with the milk shake and everything is adorable. Glad to see this post pop up on my google reader (which is not close to the 1000s but almost there
)
Nikki recently posted..GRADUATION DAY!
Aww thanks for continuing to read Nikki, it means a lot pretty lady
Tessa! So glad to see you pop up! I’ve missed you! And happy to hear you’ve unsubscribed from those triggering blogs. I’ve been thinking of starting the BBB program next round, it sounds like it was really good for you! That graphic at the top totally took me about 4 minutes to get…oh man haha. I’m glad nursing school is going well, it will be so nice to get a break! We really need to keep in touch!
Lisa recently posted..Confessions
You should totally sign up! It just helps me understand a much more positive message around working out, and I know you and I have the same (often) toxic views of it! Let me know if you decide to
Tessa! So good to hear from ya again
!
!
That oreo cake looks so professional…like bakery-style! Good job
And Caleb is getting so big and cute(r)!
Good luck with your final!!
Ha thanks woman, it was definitely enjoyed!
Thanks for the update! Glad you had a good Thanksgiving (Turkey Day feels insensitive to me) with your family. Mine went well too, we found out my cousin (she’s 27) is pereggers with her first! That cleaning your car thing doesn’t mean your lazy, brain ffart indeed, you’re doing Nursingn school and I know that can turn your mind to “mush”. Monday, is my 27th birthday! Finally, I have two tattoos on my right leg, both Chinese symbols. First one I got on 8/8/04, it means Strength. Second I got on 8/26/06, yes my mom requested that I wait two years to get another! It means Courage.
Take care,
Ben
OMG I may have to steal your tattoo idea!! I just got my first tattoo and I have to say its pretty addicting! I’m already thinking about my next one ( or TWO!) hahah! And I would have to agree with you about being enlightened by a certain site (I think we’re both talking about GOMI here?)…even though it can be harsh…there is a lot of truth on it and it really opens your eyes to how unhealthy the blog world can be.
Kaila @healthyhelperblog! recently posted..Food. Fitness. Fun.
Ahh what was your first one?! Glad you like this idea too
And maybeee talking about the same sight there 
I’m glad you update us occasionally! It seems like you’re realizing what works best for you and that’s what’s important. Obviously the blog world misses you and enjoys reading about your life every so often, but if it is healthier for you to do it once in awhile instead of all the time, then that’s what matters. You shouldn’t do something you don’t love, anyways! Blogging is supposed to be fun, not monotonous and triggering! Good luck with finals and things
Sarah @PickyRunner recently posted..Winter break bucket list
Yesss about blogging and when I do come back, it is even more special and thrilling! Thanks for the well-wishes Sarah!
Tessa! I love your updates, can’t wait for the next one.
Madison @ Pilates Makes You Happy recently posted..I am not going to date you.
Thanks Madison!
Wowzaaa 1000+ reader posts would cause me to pass out!! I would have hit read all too. Good choice! I can’t say I notice a huge shift in blog land because I continue to read the same blogs I always have, so none of them are really changing..which I assume to be good!! That Oreo cake..omg just omg. Looks delicious, you did a great job on it!! I have two tattoos..a breast cancer ribbon on my wrist (for my mama) and a rosary around my ankle.
I would say that is a good thing as well! Lovin those tattoos too, meaningful of course
I LOVE that tattoo & want it now. Lion and king was my favourite childhood movie. I think I went through a stage where watched it everyday.
Miss you and always enjoy your updates!
Ahhh why weren’t we friends when we were kids?! There was in fact a time period where I did watch it every.single.day! I think my mom tried to hide it from me at some point out of concern…
OMG…your cat looks excatly like our old cat. Your picture made me smile!
Blogging should be fun and you should keep blogging at whatever level makes you happy…even if that means missing some posts and not staying up to date with your blogging friends : )
Luv What YOu Do recently posted..No Meal Planning But Plenty of Cookies
Exactly about blogging! I do feel the guilt at times, but then I come back when I want to and it’s much more rewarding
I’m always so happy to see a new post from you! Obviously I don’t want you to feel that you have to be blogging daily or even weekly but I do enjoy your updates! Plus I know how stressful the end of the semester is–I can’t even imagine how much more stress there is in nursing school, but you are so so close to being done with your first semester
I have similar thoughts about some blogs and have even considered taking a break from blogging to reconsider the tone of my blog and what I should be reading in order to make progress in my recovery. I feel like blogs can really be addicting so when even when they’re obviously disordered, it’s hard to look away. So I think it’s awesome that you’ve taken a step back from the HLB world to just focus on your own life.
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..College Vegan on a Budget: “Nuttzo” for New Finds
If I can just butt in and say that there aren’t any “blogs you should be reading in order to make progress in recovery.” It takes a true realization that your ED is destroying your life and your happiness to kickstart a new sense of understanding and motivation that you NEED to get better in order to do everything you want to do in life. But maybe you’re just fine with where you’re at? Maybe you haven’t reached a tipping point yet? Because as a read of your blog, I can see that you seem pretty a-ok with your life, even though from an outsider’s point of view, it looks pretty sad and takes me back to my worst days. You don’t want to look 12 years old the rest of your life. Trust me. Maintaining that is not only difficult, but boring, pointless, and it robs you of the opportunities other people your age have. (I’ve learned the hard way that people both in my personal and professional life did not take me seriously when I was really ill just a couple years ago.)
hi! I just wanted to tell you that i have been reading your blog since this summer but never commented (not much of a talker here haha)
A few months ago, i began cutting blogs out of my daily reads due to how disosrdered they seem…. I mean people who used to have EDS’s who are now recovered and are syick thin….. And claim theyhave TROUBLE gaining weight, yeah right. I wish thatvwad true for me!
Anyways, i personally found a blog that helped me a lot and i just wanted to share it with you-
http://asianbitch.wordpress.com/
Ignore the name of the blog… But the author talks a lot about all the secret struggles behind hlbs. reading her post have taught me a lot and i stay away from most unhealthy hlbs now. I think you should check her out and see what you think! ( but you don’ have too)
Hi there Mindy!
That’s good to hear that you have been able to take major steps back from those toxic blogs, so important towards recovery of course. Thanks for the website suggestion, I will definitely check it… I’m interested to hear this person’s point of view on issues I currently feel rather strongly about
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog these past few months and now commenting! It’s nice to finally “meet” you
And ugh yesss as soon as I find the solution to the sitting-anxiety business, I will certainly clue you in!
1. Eeeh…I like my blog’s name!
2. To Tessa:
I am going to spare you the whole ”uggh I know they are triggering waa waa waa” speech, since many already did or will do. But just scrolling through the comments, I can pinpoint some things:
-You like being ”popular” in the blog world, hence why you cannot ignore the blogs that trigger you and almost feel obligated to be kind to all your readers. Which, I am sure you are aware of but don’t say it, are very disordered and display their behaviors through their blogs, probably the same blogs that you are talking about. It bothers you, but you don’t want to be rude by calling them out.
By the way, when someone says ”TRIGGER”, I always say to think about why they say it, as it is probably because they want to pick up the behavior themselves.
Of course, I might be wrong.
Asian B*tch recently posted..Lights on CCK’s Lies
Ohh and by the way, i forgot to write this in my last comment, but i struggle with sitting too! I am in high school and i find it so unfair that i sit ALL day while my younger sister in middle school has gym class, and healthy living classes. Not to mention she switches classes every 45 min and i am glued to a chair for 93 min till i can walk a bit….
I never get over this and as a result i always get up like every 10 min to sharpen my pencil, blog my nose.. Etc. It gets pretty bad now for me since i barelymfocus in school anymore (hence my average dropping from an A to a b-) if you ever figure something out, please share it with us!
I’VE MISSED YOU AND YOUR GORGEOUS FACE!! Gah your posts always have me thinking and I just love you for that
And that cake. Good lord that cake!! I want to just shove my face in it. That middle section looks like a cloud waiting for me to dive in to.
Hhaha thanks Kat, your comment sure made me smile
People who dislike GOMI only do so because they’re furious they can’t parade their bullsh*t around without someone flagging up the *slight* Elephant in the room that usually occurs on their blogs. Some criticism on there can be harsh, yes, and it’s irritating when someone assumes they know what you’re thinking and turns it into a criticism, but honestly I think the blog world is a better place for GOMI, and it’s a necessary outlet when certain bloggers delete all negative comments to make their life look all sunshine and roses. Doing so also sends out the message that everyone thinks their appearance/eating habits are juuust fine, which is dangerous for those who do not see the truth posted over on GOMI – they’ll start to think that being a twig and protesting about ‘not being able to gain weight’ is something to aspire to. Hell, I aspire to it but at least I know my thinking is warped.
Actually the design of that tattoo is very attractive even without TLK reference – I think it would look very pretty.
I also always give the side-eye to anyone who doesn’t like GOMI. If you’ve got nothing to hide, why be so upset about the criticism? Boo-bloody-hoo if someone points out the obvious eating disorder that won’t appear in the comments section because certain bloggers just delete any comment that isn’t kissing their ass.
Yes there are far too many of those out there. There have been times my comments have not gone through either
Hey Tessa!! Good to hear from you!! It sounds like you’ve been busy – congrats on completing your first semester of nursing school! I can not imagine being in your position though… I really can’t tolerate negativity. It’s okay to be pessimistic in certain times but seriously, it’s not encouraging at all. I have been known to get really pissy with my friends for being negative so I would really struggle in your position. Keep the right mindset and don’t let others discourage you!
I’m with you on the whole blog thing, which is why I retired my old blog and really stepped back from the blog world. It’s helped me a lot and reconnected me with the “real world” if you know what I mean… the blog world can take over easily!
Tara recently posted..The FINAL push
Hello Ms Tara! So glad to hear that stepping away from the blog world has been beneficial for you, from what I see on FB you seem genuinely happy
Yay for the new post! I honestly miss your blog! It is completely fine, healthy and rational to change your mind about certain ‘healthy living blogs’. In the beginning, for me, I was blown away by the number of blogs that fit your description and I felt some of the authors were not in good places. I have found some really awesome blogs that are not that way. Im just way more picky!
Congrats on finishing your first semester, that is really awesome. I think ppl who don’t have an ED past get frustrated with sitting too much. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
Caleb is adorable!
That cake looks amazing!
Happy Holidays! I hope you continue to blog in the new year (at least occasionally). More importantly I hope you’re happy.
Jess recently posted..Flying with Babies and Toddlers
GIRL you are not the only one who has noticed something “off” with the “healthy living” blog world lately. There are certain blogs I’ve read for years that I’ve noticed have shifted and are now unbelievably disordered – and they have no idea. It’s a trigger for me, someone who never even HAD an eating disorder, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for someone who constantly works at overcoming their struggles. It’s actually made me upset and sick to see that some of these people are offering advice and coaching to others when it’s so clear that they are disordered. I almost want to reach out and send an email but it won’t be received well. I just think some people should watch what they post.
On another note, I love reading the updates with you! Breaks are always awesome, but I can’t wait for you to be back
Miss you love!
Sara @ The Foodie Diaries recently posted..WIAW: Homemade Chipotle
I read your blog regularly, but I don’t usually comment… I started reading blogs over the summer and shortly thereafter, I started becoming obsessed with comparing myself to the bloggers – they ran faster than me, worked out harder, ate perfectly, and still had time for a social life. Having an ED history, I knew I had to pay attention to how these blogs were affecting me. It was such a relief to find that website… it opened my eyes to the fact that people will only show you what they think you want to see. Nobody is that perfect or that happy all of the time.
Hi there Jo! First, I apologize for this delay in responding to you… your comment went to spam with some others as well
I randomly checked in there today and saw that you had written something! I agree, it was a relief to find the site and I found it at a time where I was starting to question what was bothering me about blogging so much. It’s really opened my eyes up to so much that is necessary and helpful for me to understand
And in regards to my previous comment, in case I wasn’t really clear:
I think you feel conflicted when you see some comments from very disordered bloggers on your blog, because they are ”nice” comments, but you don’t want to be rude by calling them out on their behaviors and negative influence.
I recognized a lot of people that I call out on my blog in the comment section.
Asian B*tch recently posted..Lights on CCK’s Lies
Thanks for stopping by my blog and adding your two cents here! For the record, your comments were in my spam box and I randomly checked in there today when I returned to my blog for the first time in a week. I always let comments through (well unless they are completely ridiculous, mean for no reason/no valid points etc), and I apologize that it has taken me so long to read yours!
As always, I appreciate input from readers on any and all of what I write and just the same, I’m glad you added something here. Yes in a way I do feel slightly pressured to read all blogs out there… to read others when they read mine because in my mind that is the only fair way to be. And yet, a lot of those are ones I ought to stay away from, really don’t have content and ones I can tell are “blogging” for the sake of being like everyone else. But yep, I still go to them and it’s part of why I have taken a complete break (well for the most part) these last few months. I definitely have an all-or-nothing attitude and it comes out nicely when blogging… or really anything to do with eating, recovery, blah blah blah.
Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated and now I am off to do some reading on your blog! The title of your most recent post is catching my interest
Hey Tessa! I nominated you for The Liebster Award!! Check it out at…
http://www.beegoesbananas.com/2012/12/the-leibster-award.html
Bee Goes Bananas recently posted..The Leibster Award
Weeee thank you so much for doing that
Just saw that you posted again, and by now you’re done with finals and your first semester of nursing school, congrats! Pretty jealous that you get a couple of weeks off, this is my first post-grad year with only a week to go home. Oh well! Entemman’s anything reminds me of childhood too, especially the raspberry strudel that my Dad loved for breakfast. Also, those Hostess chocolate cupcake’s and Hershey’s cookies and cream bars- yum! I’ve thought about getting a tattoo of half of a quote, with my sister getting the other half, but haven’t followed through. If I ever did get one it would be where no one could see unless I showed them, possibly my side along my ribcage (which is the most painful spot I hear). And no, the whole blogging world thing is definitely not in your head. Have an awesome Christmas!
Kelly@ShapeDaily recently posted..The Health Benefits of Asparagus
Ahhh yes the raspberry strudel! How could I forget to mention that one?! Actually at the time I only liked the pastry part of it and would eat all around the raspberry filling lol. My family was pretty pissed to say the least after they had seen what became of the strudel! Whoops I was a bad kid at times
I hope you had a most wonderful Christmas Kelly!
Btw, not sure if my comment went into the spam box due to my website’s name or if you just deleted it. If that is not the case you might want to clean the spam box.
Just found you through your HLB guest post. Loved it and love what I’m reading here. You and I think alike when it comes to other HL bloggers…I dislike the perfection out there that doesn’t seem genuine. It’s annoying and boring at the same time. I’ve deleted many a blog from my reader because of it. But I’ve added you, and like yours, my reader is overflowing with unread posts as of late! Tis the season…