Readers, Friends, anyone that happens to come stumble upon my blog, hello! It’s safe to say I have missed you
A new post is actually coming out much later than I hoped it would, but you know how things go around this time especially…busy busy busy! Whether you are in school right now and are experiencing finals (a joyous occasion am I right?!), are doing the holiday scramble, bombarded with work and so on, it is the time of year that we stretch ourselves just a bit thinner than we would prefer.
Long story short, I have been busy, making my blog less and less of a priority, my creativity/will to write dwindles, and I have to keep staying far away from these parts. I find that if I even start dwelling on blogging and all that goes into it, I feel exasperated by all that “must” be done (commenting on other people’s sites, responding to emails/comments, writing posts that take me MUCH longer than they ought to) and once again, the excitement of it all diminishes. Refusing for this to happen has been difficult, aka taking a legit break has been odd!
I’m not saying anything new here and with that, I realize those first two paragraphs were quite unnecessary…. ahh well today is a perfect day for rambles, nonsense really. I need to get some THOUGHTS and whatever else out of my head, the need to journal is an activity that is taking precedence in my mind at this time. Hence today is perfect for a Thursday Thoughts post, one that has no cohesive flow, poor writing, numbered points… the best kind at times like these
***I will be back commenting and catching up on everyone’s blog this weekend, just to let ya know (Well when I want a break from studying!)
1) Relating to what I stated above, the busy time of year business, my brain does in fact resemble mush at this point, and silly silly things like this entertain me to no end.
How great is this?! I was giggling about it for several minutes, although it could be the mushy brain/easily entertained thing.
2) In my last post I talked a bit about participating in Tina’s Best Body Bootcamp and I have continued to sincerely love her program! My thoughts are the same as last time, having a workout schedule has allowed me to work my body hard, yet not go balls-to-the walls nuts/Tabata/HIIT style workouts day in and day out. There is a balance in the routines and how they are spread out, something I have been seeking for so long now, yet seemingly unable to attain for myself.
This was the reason I started BBB, because I knew what my goals were, to stay fit, healthy, without going over the top in either direction, and the program helped me to both understand and achieve this. Guess what? You can see and feel results with just a few hard workouts per day as opposed to 7 days/90 or so minutes per session. And you know what else happens (or doesn’t in this case), you don’t gain 10, 15, 20 pounds from letting your body rest when it needs and ought to.
I am planning to sign up for the next round, beginning in January, and I can’t wait for it to start once again!
3) My Google reader has never been higher with unread posts that it is today. I haven’t looked at in weeks now, though I do continue to read certain blogs that are bookmarked, and we are talking in the 1000s here… had to click all as read If I missed anything of crucial importance, I must know (please ha), or else I will probably find out when I read your blog again
4) To follow up with the workout chit-chat, as much as I would like to say I am at ease with the balance needed between fitness, relaxing, eating, a LIFE, etc, errr I’m not. Well duhh I suppose then I would be technically “recovered…” I guess?. This is something I have opened up about before, but sitting for extended periods of time, propels me into a mental downward spiral. The longer I sit with no activity- walking, workouts, standing to break it up, the more my anxiety, restlessness and angst rises. It’s as if I can feel the weight coming up, my butt getting flat, the endurance and strength simply leaving my body.
Logically I understand that these things are NOT in fact happening and that, while nobody should sit for too long (as it’s simply not good for you overall), it is fine to when you lead an otherwise active, (working on) balanced lifestyle! But then again, when has the logical side of my mind ever been the dominant factor in my life in the past 6 years or so? The illogical, “eating disorder” voice is the one that too-often takes over, lessening in intensity at times, yet still a prevalent aspect.
Today for example, I happen to be sitting much of the time, and I can feel the annoying antsy feelings arising within me. Yes it’s my choice right now to be sitting on my badonk and not moving, but I really could do without the relentless, knocking side of me, telling me to move my fat ass and do some activity. NO damn it, I want to finish this!
I told you this post was a perfect “Thursday Thoughts” one, this is all going on inside me right now.
5) While typing out the sentence with the word “prevalent”in there, I now realize I say the word quite incorrectly, pree-vale-ent. Wrong. Prev-a-lent. Tangent.
6) I meant to vacuum my car before it got dark out today. Somehow I managed to forget that it now gets dark before 4:30. <– Evidence of brain fart, or perhaps I am simply lazy. The latter fo sho.
7) Soo uhh I am aware Thanksgiving was about 3 weeks ago, but I never talked about mine! Well it was a delight and by now I don’t feel like going into details and I’m sure you are also quite over reading about Turkey Day. So instead, how about some pictures to showcase the day,
8) Classes ended last Wednesday. Tomorrow is my last day of my current clinical rotation. Monday the 17th at 8:30 am, my cumulative final begins and by 11 am it will be over. I AM ALMOST DONE with my first semester of nursing school! It’s difficult to express the sincere joy that saying this allows me to feel, take my word for it, pretty gosh-darn awesome (Harsh language, sorry about that )
Let me just say, it’s been a very tumultuous and difficult last few months… in more ways than one, yet school playing the starring role in this show. I knew there was going to be a lot of work, that I would be essentially “selling my soul” to the program, having no life, no fun, blah blah blah.
But was not expected though was the tenacious, constant negativity from those who had no business acting in such a way, something I have talked about several times over. Additionally, just because I studied my ass off for an exam, did NOT mean I would receive what I consider to be a decent grade. For anyone that is/was a nursing student, knows exactly what I am talking about here. The questions on tests are partly asking what you know about whatever the topic is, yet you must find the right answer in the question that applies what is being asked. Perhaps this sounds easier than I am making it, and for some it likely is. For me though, I continue to struggle with these exams… again it’s not the material, but in the manner it’s be asked. It basically comes down to this:
My knowledge certainly hasn’t been reflecting my exam grades (for the record, I am not failing or close to it), and it has been beyond frustrating. Practice practice practice these questions is what I must continue to do, especially in preparation for next semester, maternity! I hope those few NCLEXX books I dished out the billzzz for help out!
9) Now you would think after all of my lamenting about school I would be in fact studying for the final exam… nope. Today I have decided blogging is a great idea instead as is BAKING. Oh baking, how I have missed you and because it relaxes and soothes me, I am taking a mental health day, not studying and doing everything else I feel like doing. Aka blogging, baking, pinteresting, and eventually working out. <– Crazy lifestyle I lead, you don’t have to tell me.
My latest baking creation, this cake!
Psst, it’s a giant Oreo. I wish I could say I came up with such a brilliant cake idea, but alas, this is not the case. I believe it’s a Kraft original recipe, but I did add my own twists and turns… which really means I made the cake part from scratch as opposed to a box mix, it counts right?! This cake is for my mom’s friend’s birthday party tonight (oreos make her swoon), so although I won’t be able to try it, I will get the full report and ratings. The batter and coolwhip/cream cheese mixture in the middle were taste-tested for optimal flavor by yours truly, and I assure you, it was flippen fantastic.
10) The blog world… still having some thoughts on all of that. In my reasons for a hiatus post, I talked about my recently growing qualms with parts of the blog world and unfortunately, they have not gone away. Yes I have been staying away (for the most part) these last few weeks, yet I do tune in at times and through various sources (number one being a particular website that many people ehhmm strongly dislike), the reality of some blogs out there has become clear.
Ones I used to worship, want to be, are no longer blogs I follow because I have “seen the light” or at least been clued into just how disordered in terms of food, body image, workouts, etc, really are. Not just the “big bloggers” either, but ones I stumble upon where I have to immediately click away from at the risk of being triggered by the too-thin writer claiming to love SALAD and FITNESS, clean food and all of that, oh and they are never hungry and have trouble gaining weight. Riiiiigggghhhhttt.
Again, I am being somewhat repetitive here, but it’s a major peeve of mine at this time, and this new view is allowing me to finally understand aspects of myself that are not in fact okay. BTW I am NOT saying I am innocent on this, but I am taking a second look. Elaboration on this will likely come in the future
11) On a more upbeat note, I love clementines right now and no, not just because they are good for you. I bought a hefty size box of them just a few days ago and well, when you eat 5-7 per day, those suckers go fast! A whole lot more economical than buying berries if I want me some fruit at this time. (1/2 pint of blueberries for $4.99?! I.don’t.think.so)
12) I am trying my hand at making homemade Monkey Bread today for the staff at the hospital where I have rotations… celebration of last day and all. Psyched for the challenge, plus Monkey Bread holds a very special childhood (junk food) memory in my heart… I used to tear through this stuff with gusto. A buttery, cinnamon-sugar glaze poured over/incorporated into biscuits that are rolled, baked and then can be easily pulled apart? Little else is better than this.
However, I haven’t eaten monkey bread since childhood (for reasons I am sure you can guess), and I no longer bake items I don’t try… well the exception being the cake above or other such circumstances. I am challenging myself to eat a honkin peace tomorrow MORNING (<–incredibly difficult for me to have “scary food” so early on), because I must remember it’s quite fine too. Plus I have a feeling it’s going to be real delish.
13) Caleb gets cuter, friendlier and BIGGER each and everyday! He is wonderfully friendly with anyone and actually likes being around big crowds. For example, we brought him to our Thanksgiving shindig where there were nearly 15 people present, and he was front and center whenever he could be. He loves the attention and we all enjoy giving it to him… it’s safe to say he has taken over the house
Right in the middle of my mom’s queen size bed, yeah he knows what he is doing here.
14) The last four posts of mine including this one have all been in listed/numbered form. Now I am not so sure how I am feeling about this… this patter must stop! Haha while I enjoy this method, my long-butt essay style posts hold a special place in my heart. I am sure I could come up with something good soon, especially since school is over soon and I can properly think once again!
15) Speaking of childhood favorites, I am seriously considering getting this tattoo…
The Lion King, and that movie and I go way back! I would never actually get a tattoo behind my ear or for that matter, anywhere above the belly button. I am not against tattoos by any means and have always wanted one yet would need to find something truly significant to me in order to make it a permanent addition on my body. The Lion King… well this movie gives me comfort, it helped me stay happy when I was younger, I was obsessed with it, saw the show on broadway, ahhh this movie equals pure JOY in my mind. Perhaps some of you are scoffing at this idea, but it’s (almost) officially on the to-do list.
Soooo I started this post around 3 pm and with breaks, errands to be run, baking to be complete and lack of enthusiasm at times, I am now finishing it up by 10 pm. Yikes. I really ought to be getting to bed anyway, LAST clinical tomorrow (yay!) although that involves arriving there at 6 am (boo!). Before I go though, some questions if you care to answer… I would love to hear anything from you, missin you all like I said. And no, not just saying that
-What are some tangents/”Thursday Thoughts” that you have to share today?
-Regarding the blog world and tell me honestly, am I being too sensitive with all of this and losing my marbles a bit with all of this speculation, or has anyone else noticed a shifting trend? It’s hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can’t say I like it.
-Is there a particular baked good that reminds you of childhood, or at least spurs happy thoughts?! Monkey bread among tons of others- DD Cinnamon roles/Boston Cremes/Crullers, Turkey Hill Cookie Dough ice cream, Entemanns anything… healthy child to say the least.
-Would you ever get a tattoo? What would it be and where on your body? If you have one, tell me about it!
If you stumble upon this post it will probably be on Friday so happy (almost) weekend everyone! I will be back sooner than later and I am psyched about it