Hey, It’s OK!

Good Evening Folks!

I thought I was going to get around to blogging earlier today but ehhh, I found that searching through my entire attic for a necklace I can’t find ANYWHERE was a better idea. A few months ago I lost my oh-so-favorite Tiffany’s lock-shaped necklace, one that my grandmother gave to me when I was 10 years old… just one of those very special pieces of jewelry. Somehow in the course of the latter part of 2012, it has been MIA. I have a feeling I placed it in something I thought was rather clever at the time and now of course, I have no flippen clue where that might be. Can’t even tell you the number of times this has occurred with various personal items…

I am hoping one day I will find the necklace when I’m not looking for it… that’s usually how it works right? Right?! Just say yes, I miss it

Enough yapping about that though, time for something more interesting, a Hey, it’s OK post! Haven’t done of one of these in a while and I thought of several during an hour break from school I had earlier today. (Update on school coming later, the first week has gone well though!)

Hold onto your butts, here we go!

………..to eat a poptart while you are working out at the gym. Just yesterday I was on a stationary bike and a middle-aged normal looking guy got on the one next to me and proceeded to pull a poptart (I’m pretty sure it was smores, drool) and ate it while peddling away. I couldn’t help but to do a double take… but hey man, you do what you do, that is one way to feel the burn.

………..to go to the mall after class with zero intention of buying anything but to just walk around, people watch and window shop. It’s been too damn cold to walk outside without freezin my tits off (crude expression, but one I adore), and I needed to mentally and physically MOVE after an 8 hour or so day at school. (Although I did buy 2 pairs of socks at Marshall’s, BIG SPENDAA)

……….. to eat during class when pretty much no one else does. This one I do not understand, how do people go for hours and hours with nothing to eat? Even with a substantial breakfast, I am hungry about 2 hours later and am ready for snacking… something perfect to do during class and actually allows me to focus better. And yet, I seem to be the only one munching and crunching away. It’s very confusing, but power to them!

………..to bitch about the cold. Well sort of. I know I live in the Northeast, it’s January and that whole winter/death chill thing is to be expected, fine. What is not fine however is how our poorly insulated house does a poor job at keeping the place warm, especially at night when the heat is turned down. Waking up to temperatures like this,

is not so pleasant! Although it does prompt me to get dressed at lightening speed and hot coffee is that much more enjoyed. One last note on this, thank goodness for my space heater.

………….to have breakfast for dinner the last errr 4 days in a row, specifically steamy, hot oatmeal! Another choice I am blaming on the weather. Going along with this, it’s also OK(!) to save a huge hunk of peanut butter for the very last bite. I actually add a glob in towards the end to make sure I finish off the bowl with that delightful flavor in my mouth Why yes, I am a cliche blogger at times, oatmeal is dang tasty.

…………..to fight tooth and nail to have two required classes for nursing, transfer over for credit from UMASS. Urghhh on this one. Last week or so I received an email from my adviser stating that whoops, sorry Tessa but you still have to take Sociology 100 and Composition 2. Make sure you sign up either this semester or the summer session, thanks.

Woah, hold the phone. First, that would be about $800-ish dollars for the 6 credits (community college prices) which is way more money than I can spend right now. Second, major time sucker and finally, it’s actually rather absurd why these particular classes won’t transfer over. For example, while I have never taken Intro to Soc, I have completed a number of others- family, childhood, communication… yet this doesn’t count? The composition one made me laugh a bit, sarcastically that is. Composition, writing? I enrolled in a number of writing classes in undergrad but again, not intro.

So yes in the process of getting these two classes approved, I will just be so darn flustered if it doesn’t work out! I’ll keep you posted and in the mean time, everyone cross their fingers Rant over.

………… to take an impromptu (and extra) rest day this week. I truly never do this and yes, much of that decision is tied to my “need” to get at least some workout in most days of the week. Yesterday though, I was just not feeling right- weak, a bit shaky and “off” for no reason I could think of (and not getting sick). All morning I had been sitting in class, came home and sat some more while doing homework, took a nap and read for a while – zero activity= normally unheard of.

What is NOT OK is the dreaded feelings of guilt and LAZY bum surging through my mind nearly all afternoon. As a result I was agitated on a day I mentally and physically needed to rest. It would be great to simply make a tough-for-me decision like this and move the heck on.

………….. to want and own way too many items of clothing that are sparkly These tights are something I need, oh and the shirt too I mean crystallized tights? I know.

………….to respond to what my body is telling me it needs. In this case more FOOD- a whole more after dinner than I had previously planned for. This occurred the other night and while I had eaten what I was supposed to in regards to the new plan, I was insatiable, physically or mentally I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps a combination of both? M&M trail mix, a honkin piece of a PB snack cake I made recently, some pretzels (sweet and salty, oh yes), and a bit of milk chocolate to finish off the night.

Now I will NOT call this binging, more reactive eating(?) than anything I would say. The awareness of what I was choosing to do and eat was there, but basically I threw up my arms and said, “the hell with it, I want THIS! Oh and some of THAT! Some more of THIS please… chocolateeee.” This was clearly my body telling me something and I listened and also I was able to take away a lesson, it’s called eat more during the day. Or just plain eat more, clearly I am craving something here.

…………..to take a picture of yourself (hey there ‘selfie’) when you are at your not-so-sexiest.

Hawt. Although it appears that my hair is an ungodly share of blonde/nasty yellow, I am in fact darkening it here! A few weeks ago, I low-lighted my hair for the winter… plus I was tired of attempting to keep up with an unnatural (for me) blonde color that grew out way too fast. Plus, I have no money.

And that is the picture I am going to leave you all with today, because… why not?! Perhaps it will give you a giggle to get your weekend off to a silly start

-What is your “Hey, It’s OK!” right now or in general? Share any and all you can think of, I enjoy reading these from others!

-What is the strangest or funniest thing you have witnessed/seen at the gym? The guy with the poptart wins for me!

-Do you think there is a difference between what is considered “binging” and eating a whole lot at once because your body (and mind in some cases) truly needs it?

-Serious question now, what do you propose is the best Poptart flavor? I personally was always a Blueberry lover! Could not get enough of that frosting, which of course was always licked off first I have to admit though, haven’t had one of these suckers in years and I know since then the company has produced flavors such as cake batter… perhaps one day I shall reconsider my choice.

-What are your plans for the weekend? Anyone racing? Tell me about it so I can live vicariously through you! Hehh.

Enjoy your Friday night and the rest of the weekend as well

Tagged as: Binging, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorder Recovery, Hey, It's Okay!, Oatmeal, poptarts, reactive eating