Afternoon Folks!
Before jumping into my thoughts on this mild, spring-like Thursday, I just wanted to take a hot second to thank people for their valued input and support on my last post! I found it interesting to see the array of answers to my questions, some people used to be the “outsider,” odd man out back in the day and with time, they have realized how NONE of that in the past matters. While there were others who also understand such a period of insecurity has nothing to do with who you are, those lingering memories and feelings are hard to shake. I am certainly the latter on this one. I say this all the dang time, but all of this is a work in progress, one that must and will continue as time goes on.
Moving on! Allow me to get to my current thoughts!
1) On Thursdays I have my clinical at the children’s hospital in a town nearby. Usually our group of 5 is there helping patients and being on the floor from 7:00-3:30, regular day shift hours. Today though, we were released early, at noon! My clinical instructor was not feeling well and basically couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to call it a day with three hours to go. While of course I do feel bad that she is ill, I couldn’t help but say “HOLLA YES” when she told us the glorious news.
2) Speaking of clinicals, for the first time ermm ever, I feel confident in saying that I had a really great morning at the hospital! I am usually a 100% hot mess during these clinicals, as I continuously doubt myself on a constant basis. Brilliant I know and something I NEED to get over, especially for this field of health. Anyway, I did a number of procedures for the first time today and did them well, without fumbling my words, saying “I don’t know” when my instructor asks me “what’s next” or something like that, and I maintained a cool head. It was just nice to have one day there where I did not feel scared and incompetent of doing anything.
3) While searching for images for this post, I somehow stumbled upon this rather stupid, yet hilarious gem:
Tehehehee. So dumb, and I so love it.
4) Today for the first time in a week, I exercised more than just walking and GOOD LAWD was it a nice and welcome thing to do! Not going to lie, the lack of workouts this week has been real tough on the old noggin, those oh-so-fun negative thoughts and voices have been rather overpowering and tempestuously convincing. There were a few times that I *almost* said screw it and went to the gym or attempted a run but NOPE, I stuck to my guns here. I am proud of myself for this, but what does continue to concern me is the need I felt for those few days to get out there and move my body… again, besides walking. That combined with the lots of sitting situation for school, well it was a challenge.
My relationship with exercising, feeling the compulsive need to burn calories in some way, get up and move way more than necessary and build muscle whenever I can… has tremendously improved, but clearly it’s still an issue to an extent. Yet another thing I am highly aware of and attacking it slowly.
5) There are products out there that simply should not exist or are completely useless. For example, why on Earth would you buy these….
when an old, rolled up magazine (well two actually, oh boy getting crazy here), will do the same job of holding up your boots for a whole lot less money?! I have been using magazines to keep my uggs, other various boots standing as straight up as possible for years now and it works great. Hint, Food Network magazines are my support of choice, they are nice and sturdy unlike others out there!
Yet there are other useless products that DO in fact need to be a part of our economy, THIS being one of them (for sure),
NEED.
6) I really enjoy the word tempestuously and realized that just now when it popped into my head for the 4th “thought.” Mmm fancy-sounding vocab words, love them! Some other favorites that come to mind, surreptitiously, superfluous, veracious, assiduous, blasphemy… I could go on, but my inner nerd self will rest for now 
7) My cat makes me so so happy and pretty much whatever he does I find adorable…. this particular incident I am going to show you is extra cute 
The other night I was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework while Caleb was pawing a toy of some kind behind me on the floor. Suddenly (seriously) the noise stopped and I turned around to see where he went. Upon turning around, I encountered him in this position,
He fell asleep instantly it seems in this position! I saw him, smiled from ear to ear and grabbed my phone as silently as I could to snap some photos, I mean come onnnnnnn. I wuv him. Yep, I just said WUV.
8) I have reminded myself of this on a number of occasions, yet it keeps catching me off guard! I am all about “letting your feelings out,” expressing yourself when you want or need to, and doing your best to not let everything bottle up, as this often ends disastrously when something triggers an emotional meltdown. WELL I made the mistake of getting overwhelmed with a whole in the last week or so and suddenly it all piled up yesterday and I cracked. Let’s just say this week has been real rough- school, outside job, assignments, online class, trying to get my credits to transfer, suffering grades, personal crap issues… yeah not good to keep shut about all of that.
My adviser was the lucky one that told me something else burdening and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back… complete sob sesh right in her office, lovely. I did manage to pull myself together after about ohhhh, an HOUR or so and let me tell you, I was not looking too sexy after that. Thank goodness that I randomly carry extra mascara with me, let’s leave it at that. Other than my eyeballs kind of burning the rest of the day, that tremendous cry was NEEDED and today I am feeling more mentally ready to take on everything that is going on right now.
9) Well that was a rather depressing “thought” today so how about another goofy one that I find just awesome?! Anyone that has played/still does play The Sims (that would be me), absolutely appreciates this. For the record (in my humble opinion), The Sims 2 is the best… Sims 3 is just too complicated? Annoying? Just not right!
10) I am in desperate need of new clothes or at least unearth some nicer ones I own. #firstworldproblem I know, but I am just taking the yoga pants/zip up/scarf look way too far here. It’s just so easy to wear an outfit like to attend school, where I am there to impress NOBODY… and everyone else wears something similar. Being comfortable is oh-so-wonderful though and at least I straighten my hair and put make up on! Sometimes….
11) Last but not least, this is a quote I stumbled upon via my Pinterest (gahh where else?) earlier today.
True story, and the added Monsters Inc’ use of character here makes it even better.
-Can you think of any useless products you have seen recently? Have you been sucked into their appeal anyway? The absolute BEST resource for these is Sky Mall given on some airplanes, so much dumb stuff, yet I will admit to wanting a lot of crap in there that is 100% unnecessary for my life…
-When is the last time you had a major emotional melt down, sobbing, woe-is-me session? Do you tend to let things bottle up and then explode out in one bout? It’s funny(?), I was NEVER a crier prior to entering college where my freshman year I cried for literally 9 months straight. Since then, well the breakdowns come more easily in the form of waterfalls coming out of my eyeballs.
-What are some fancy-shmancy vocab words you enjoy using or saying?! I’m interested in hearing what y’all have to say on this one
-Share any and all of YOUR Thursday Thoughts!
Have a great evening friends and if I don’t “see” you before the weekend, enjoy that time as well 
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
My last “straw that broke the camel’s back” sob session was in January & yes, it was something totally unrelated that made me lose it. I feel ya. And I think it’s a good thing to be able to touch base with your feelings and let all that crap out. It literally feels like you’re excreting toxins when you have a solid cry session like that.
Fancy word I used recently: “exacerbate”
Crazy how much better you feel after a good cry session, right? The last big one I had was last Fall when I was writing my first ‘official’ grad school paper. I was convinced that I couldn’t handle the work and my prof would take one look at it and be like “umm…how did you get accepted?” Basically, a month and a half of insecurity broken down by one paper. Cue massive, hour long breakdown in the boyfriend’s shoulder. But, I felt much, much better afterwards and I’m still here, so the paper couldn’t have been that bad. :-p
And hells yes, that Sims meme. I do like Sims 3 though!
Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted..Things That Don’t Suck About Winter.
Omg I love sky mall hahaha. Yay for a good day at the hospital!! I may or may not have had a breakdown like…two days ago. I’m good now though hahaha.
I cried a lot my first year of law school. My poor legal writing teacher… I’m sorry things are rough right now, but they WILL improve! And congrats on your awesome morning!
Katie @ Peace Love & Oats recently posted..Thursday Thoughts
Yeah- I don’t blame you to use magazines for boots! Who needs to purchase something to hold them up? I mean geez…. I think some people just have more money than sense sometimes (totally made use of that pun). I hope things improve with school but that’s awesome that you got out early
. At least there was a little break. I also spent some time upset in professors’ offices in school and I was a writing major, so I can imagine how nursing must be.
And yeah… sky mall is crazy! But the weirdest product is defniitely that Forever Lazy which is like oversized onsie pajamas with a “crap-flap”.
Amy Lauren recently posted..Outside my cubicle comfort zone: A rant on Yahoo’s telecommuting changes
I am proud of you for really addressing and trying to work on the exercise thoughts. I think the extended break I took two years ago was what I needed to repair that negative relationship I had with it. By taking a break you really are respecting your body and learning you don’t have to do anything. You are enough… classic motto but oh so perfect for this
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted..This Photograph is Proof.
As always, you’re so insightful about the issues you have. I think it’s really brave of you to take the time off exercise. It’s so incredibly difficult and it will help you get to that happy place. I miss the sims, I haven’t played in forever (I don’t think it works on my mac) but it’s certainly a game I was addicted to. I definitely own many of the expansion packs. I’ve only broken down in a teacher’s office once and it was when I failed my pchem exam last semester. Not because I haven’t had plenty of mental breakdowns, but because I never go to my teachers for help. Yet another thing in my crazy head that I really need to work on.
Haha I love using fancy words like that- makes me feel so obnoxious
! Two favorites are ‘stupendous’ & ‘superfluous’. That egg pourer is AWESOME- I’m such a sucker for all these gadgets! I am not even big on eating bananas straight up yet I find myself really wanting a Banana guard- such a fun idea haha! Glad to see you stick to your guns to not exercise…have you noticed an improvement in your energy levels & concentration in class?
Khushboo Thadani recently posted..My idea of a detox
Oh Sky Mall, that magazine is totally entertaining! It’s just fun making fun of all the weird stuff in there and wondering why they even sell it, like who even buys a trash can cover that looks like a rock or whatever?
I really applaud you for taking a break from exercising. Even if it’s just a few days, it can be so hard to just tell yourself that it’s ok if you just take it easy for awhile. I have this compulsive need to workout every single day and it freaks me out if I can’t fit in my workouts for the day–obviously something I need to work on and maybe taking a break for a week would really help.
Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie recently posted..WIAW: Almost Wordless Weekend
Hahaa there are SO many useless products that I just want so badly. It’s incredible how many I come across that I “need”.
I feel like I need new clothes too, I’m so sick of my plain ol’ old ones. They’re annoying to me now ha.
I had a recent breakdown too, yah it wasn’t too pretty. Crying up the wazoo, at least it was just in front of my Mom?
Hope things are better now!
I’m also SO proud of your week break from exercise. I have to admit, I’ve tried it numerous times and only last 3-4 days max before I cave. I don’t know why, because people usually tell me my willpower is amazing, which I guess isn’t always positive, but in this situation my mind won. Dang, I should work on this soon.
It’s definitely hard when you take the break, but still have those thoughts houding you. I really hope the break at least helps with the fatigue and tiredness in your legs that has been happening!
Lisa recently posted..February Favorites
There must be something in the water because I seriously had the worst week ever and had a few tearful or lots of tearful moments over it. I shouldn’t say worst week because life can be so much worse and I know I live a fortunate life.
How did your legs go after a week off? I took quite a few days off because life was too stressful and I needed time out but I’m feeling so navy today.
Jess recently posted..Taking care of you
A good cry when you need it can feel SO good! I had a good sob fest last week when I didn’t get an interview for one of the internships I applied to. But I feel a lot better now, especially after talking to friends who also didn’t get interviews at places they applied.
I’m so happy you’re feeling more confident in your clinical placement! I’m sure now that you’ve been doing it for a little while, you’ll start to have those confident days a lot more often!
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..Fabbrica
Sob sessions can be embarrassing, but they are totally necessary and I actually usually feel refreshed after them, haha.
I’ve been wearing a lot of zip-up jackets/hoodies lately, just cause its more convenient. I’m looking forward to “dressing up” in cute spring dresses, skirts, and shorts as the weather continues to warm up
!
Fancy words? I like to use transient, vivacious, irk, capitulate, and sprightly as much as possible. It is quite surprising how often I can sneak them into my daily (more like wekly?) conversations.haha
Caleb is a cutie,seriously. My dog also seems to find that position quite relaxing,he falls asleep that way on the regular!
Kat @ a dash of fairydust recently posted..My new full time job.
Geno ran away last Friday, and after I got him into the house I BROKE DOWN. Like sobbing for a half an hour until I forced myself to stop so that I could make it to work on time. The whole thing brought me to my breaking point for sure!
Also, I love when I look at Geno and he is laying in some ridiculous position
Caleb is adorable!
Nikki recently posted..Fitness Favorites
I hate you had a melt down at school, but I remember having one of those in hygiene school. It happens! I know you will an incredible nurse though girl! Just think of how far you have come already!!
Caleb is too cute for words! I can’t believe how fast he is growing!
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables recently posted..Friday Five
Interesting post and interesting how you suddenly saw the benefits of crying, I really think that it an help but I think its something that needs to be done on your own personally unless you really are crying out for help!
Hmmm but in this case it could not be helped! Definitely didn’t enjoy sobbing in front of my professor :-/
I’ve always been emotional (not emo, just emotional haha) and after a major sob-sesh where I let all of your energy come out in tears and heavy crying, I always feel SO much better. Also, after a breakdown like that you usually realize that everything really is going to be okay. I’ve seen plenty of useless products around, but what especially pops into my mind are those weird seen-on-tv, half-under shirt things that go around either just your waist or just your bust to make the “layered” look? Couldn’t you just wear a tank top under your shirt?
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