Contact Me

If you would like to ask any questions, comments or simply want to talk, email me at,

TessaM1989 @ Yahoo Dot Com

I would love to hear from you! :D

{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

1 cristal April 4, 2011 at 10:52 am

Tessa,
I am so glad i came across your website. A lot of things you talk about or write i feel are coming from me! I found your website through chocolate covered Katie and am so glad. This is one of the first blogs that i found where i feel i can relate. I often read about people’s happy families and perfect meals and you dont see much struggle. Your site hits home for me from everything about stressing about food or getting anxiety about not exercising. I dont even go out half the time due to food issues. I refuse to eat out places and when i do i get anxiety about what im eating and half to search websites to read the nutrition before i go. I count every calories. It started cause after i had my son who is going to be 3 i gained weight. I went from 160lbs and im now 115lbs im always so terrified to gain it back. I finally added drinking alcohol back into my diet after loosingf weight but it means counting calories and restricting my food so i can drink. Thank you for always being so honest its made me feel not alone. My fiance and i argue a lot and are not getting along and have not for a while, we do everything seperate, we eat seperate, we eat different meals, have different interests and this all started when i became obsessed with a healthy lifestyle. Just wanted you to know i can relate to you. Chin up girl =) xoxox Cristal

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2 Tessa at Amazing Asset April 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Hi Cristal!
I first want to thank you for coming across my blog and contacting me! Although I write this blog as a way to get my thoughts out and share other aspects of my life, it really means a lot to me when other people can relate, such as yourself. Of course, I would never want anyone to go through the struggles we do with everything related to food, but it is comforting to know you are not alone in this battle!
Also, thank you for sharing your story. It was so honest but I am sorry you are in this situation. However, i think recognizing that food, diet, exercise and body image have slowly taken over your life, allows you to tackle the issues and eventually make changes. Admitting to all of this is the first step in my opinion! We know we both have an unhealthy relationship towards these things, but it sounds like you are ready to make changes, such as incorporating alcohol back into your life and so am I.
I just have to keep telling myself that life is simply beyond all of these things and that it is not worth sacrificing so many other aspects of our lives for control over this one thing. Now I need to listen to my own words of advice :)
Keep your head up to lady :)
-Tessa

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3 Maria A August 5, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I read quite a few blogs but never one that has touched me in the way yours has. I suffered an eating disorder a few years ago. I am now almost fully recovered and struggle mainly only when im pre-menstrual and feel heavy. The rest of the time I am generally incredibly free. Everything you say about being anorexic and the recovery process is exactly how I felt. It’s like you are putting words to the experience I had and that is an incredible thing. Not only are you incredibly honest, but clearly highly intelligent and articulate as well. The main thing for me in my recovery was time. Once I’d really let myself get back to a healthy weight, so that my periods came back and I wasn’t denying myself food, I could really begin the process of getting used to my new body, the body I had feared having SO intensely for so long. Your posts on body checking, receiving compliments of looking healthy and realising that you wanted to live life and not simply exist are also, some of the most defining aspects of my life.
Now that Ive been a healthy weight for a couple of years, i am slowly beginning to forget what my unhealthy body was. I really feel that that is the most important thing for me, it sets me free from so many of the worries I had for so long when recovering.
Obviously, life is always a work in progress, but I wanted to share with you, as a fellow 5’10″ girl, that freedom is possible. To be able to sleep in with my boyfriend and share a big meal together is something I am eternally grateful for, and is what life is. Thank you again for your wonderful blog,
Maria

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4 AJohnson August 19, 2011 at 12:10 am

Once I started my own blog, I knew I needed to get into contact with you ASAP. i have recently recovered from an eating disorder and I KNOW KNOW we can help each other. You are amazing and strong and even though you have never met me, I have been one of your biggest fans. ED will never be silient for me, but I want us to have each other for support. We will always need it. Please come visit my blog and give my some advice or input and please please please email me so we can be virtual support.

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5 Shannon @ Healthiful Balance October 21, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I LOVE your blog! <3
Shannon @ Healthiful Balance recently posted..Rest Day & a Foodie Swap?

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6 Ashley February 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Your blog truly inspires. As someone who has struggled with disordered eating for 6 years, this gives me the hope and encouragement to embrace my body and learn to relax. You are so strong, so beautiful, and so inspirational. I wish I was as brave as you to share my story and help others. You are so much stronger than you even know, and you will get through this – one day at a time. I cannot thank you enough for inspiring me to have a more positive outlook on food, fitness, and life.

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7 tessa8m February 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Hi Ashley, thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my thoughts here! I am truly moved by your words, and honestly, hearing that I am inspiring you gives me motivation to continue as well. I know I will get through this, as You will too…just have to keep fighting and like you said, take it one day at a time. Stay strong Ashley and let me know if you ever want to talk more!

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8 Kate February 24, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Hi Tessa!

Stumbled across your blog and haven’t been able to stop reading through it. Like other readers, I can relate to so much of what you write, whether it be dealing with rest days, letting yourself indulge in the occasional treat, or coming to terms with food being necessary fuel for your body. I too am a 5’10″ girl (and also an ex-swimmer for that matter!), who prior to moving away from home was athletically slim and really had never had a single problem (let alone thought) about body image. However, whilst at college I developed depression, anxiety and anorexia, and as I’m sure you can relate, it really detracted from the whole college experience. Unfortunately my problems have lingered and four years down the track I’m currently still dealing with depression, anxiety and disordered eating (probably closest to BED, but also EDNOS at times – but sometimes question the value in putting a label on it). I’m just hoping that I can obtain some of your level headedness and gradually learn to push the voice ruling disordered eating (and exercise – I used to love it) stop consuming so much of my daily life.

Guess I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your honest reflections. Keep doing what you’re doing :)

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9 tessa8m February 25, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Hi Kate,
Thank you so much for stopping by and not only taking the time to read my story and other posts, but also to share yours! First of all, high five for being a tall lady like me, I don’t meet very many of them :) I know my height is where a lot of my insecurities have come from, as I always felt simply LARGE when I was younger. I really did not like it and it made me feel like I was sticking out like a sore thumb.
I am sorry your time in college was very tough on you. Were you swimming while there or playing any other sports? And of course, suffering with this illness still well…sucks! I won’t lie, I have to work through this every.single.day and try and fight what I know is wrong. But honestly, there are some days I “succumb” to behaviors because it is just easier than fighting them. I get angry with myself during these times because I know I am doing nothing beneficial for my overall well-being at all.
You can get better, but it is soooo HARD and challenging. You have to be ready for that and be READY for it to feel very uncomfortable and wrong!
Let me know if you ever want to talk more and stay strong Kate!

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10 Margarita February 26, 2012 at 10:21 am

Hello Tessa!

You have a very inspiring story and I thank you for sharing your experiences to the world. I have a friend with a severe eating disorder and she has now been in treatment for 2 years. Because of years and years of starving herself, her body does not accept anything anymore. It seems like her digestive system just completely shut down. She’s on feeding tubes and everything and gets infections all the time… And so on. It is pretty bad right now and nothing seems to be helping because everything that goes in her comes right back out.

The part I feel remorseful about is that I never knew she had a disorder. She cooked the most amazing meals, I saw her eat some of it on teeny tiny plates (I just thought she really liked cute little plates), she loves cookies, brownies, and goldfish crackers, and she would eat bread with butter more than the size of her bread. Everyone around me who were not as close to her kinda thought that there was something wrong. But she and I were together so much so I always said, there’s nothing wrong. She eats, I swear… And it’s true, I saw her eat… But what happens after?

Right now, she is under therapy and her health has not improved… She’s trying to get better but her body is not cooperating. What’s going to happen? I just know that she is a fighter and she will do everything she can to win this battle.

Thanks for sharing your story and all the best to you. Keep taking care of yourself and allow life’s little pleasures to give you satisfaction. An entire cookie won’t hurt, I promise. ;)

All the best,

Margarita
Margarita recently posted..Homemade Whole Wheat Bread

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11 tessa8m February 26, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Hi Margarita,

First, thank you for stopping by my blog and taking the time to read my daily toughts, actions, victories and setbacks with all of this! It means a lot lady, and I really do appreciate it. Also, thank you for having the courage and honesty to share what is going on right now with you friend. I am incredibly sorry to hear that she is suffering so much, and am now keeping her in my thoughts and prayers <3
Please don’t feel that the condition she got to was your fault. When you are close with someone, it’s hard to see their flaws and what they could potentially be doing wrong. Plus, when you are with someone on a daily basis or often (like you seemed to be) you don’t notice the possible unhealthy decisions of the person! Maybe she only ate in front of you and other people and then would restrict and over-exercise the rest of the time. Or perhaps even purge? Who knows, the important part is that she is getting treatment now, and I believe she will fight this and prevail.
This is a bit of a reality check for me, and motivation to keep on going! I will enjoy a cookie today :)

Thank you,
Tessa

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12 Hayley April 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm

HI!
I read your blog everyday! I am a 17 year old girl struggling with eating enough calories through out the day. I count calories which is why I never eat enough. I know I should be eating at least 500 more calories per day, and i need to gain weight ASAP. Do you have any advice for me??
Thanks a bunch!

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13 tessa8m April 22, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Hi Hayley!
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my blog! IT means a lot that you do so :) That is a very difficult question for me to answer for a number of reasons and the first being that I am not a certified to give you any real facts and nutrition advice. Also, I don’t know much about you- exercise habits, height, weight, mental state and such… However, if you email me, I can offer you some insight into what I have done that has been helpful!

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14 Sloane Pitman July 1, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Hi Tessa!

I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE your blog! I’m a 21 year old swimmer at the University of Tennessee, and have struggled with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 15. I’ve been through several different kinds of treatment (inpatient –CJ @ Healthy Happy Whole and I were actually patients together at my first center, outpatient, home and family based blah blah blah) and have had some periods of recovery, but recently had a very serious relapse. Reading blogs like yours, Meg @ adashofmeg, Peachy Palate, HealthyDivaEats etc. have really helped me get back on track, and I am SO appreciative! I am thinking of starting a blog of my own, but I’m so clueless! So, I’m reaching out to bloggers whose sites I admire or read regularly to see what your experiences were when you were starting, and maybe get some guidance on things like domain hosts, plugins, what to write about etc. I’m finally starting to embrace full recovery, and hope to one day be able to get back into competing and fitness (I can’t medically exercise right now, had to miss out on the Olympic Trials meet happening this week, and may have to sit out my last year of swimming thanks to this shitty illness) and really want to be able to share my journey and learn from others! Your help is greatly appreciated! And thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, struggles, and triumphs–you are an inspiration ma’am!
xoxo Sloane

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15 tessa8m July 5, 2012 at 11:05 am

Hi Sloane,

I am so honored you have been taking the time to read my blog and also to share your own thoughts here, thank you lady! Hearing your words gives me further encouragement and inspiration to kepe on going, so allow me to thank YOU for that. I of course hope you keep on fighting the good fight Sloane, and get back to your healthy place… remember it is possible :D

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16 christy July 4, 2012 at 11:04 pm

The cake thing reminded myself of me. Last night I went out to dinner with guys and none of them finished their meal. Yet I cleared mine. It bothered me.

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17 tessa8m July 5, 2012 at 10:24 am

I don’t understand it Christy… although I would love to!

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18 Emily Sullivan August 17, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Hey Tessa,

great website! You are clearly writing content that is connecting to lots of people. And it was great to read some of your posts. I came across your website b/c I saw your post about trusting your body. I just wrote a post (actually its a video post) about that as well and wanted to pass it along :)
Let me know your thoughts http://wp.me/p2trUO-b1

Best, Emily

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19 tessa8m August 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Hi Emily! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to read some parts of it :) I will definitely check out your post and blog!

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20 Melinda Mills August 23, 2012 at 9:57 am

Hey, Tessa! I sent you an email this past weekend re finding help. Wondered if you got that or if it would be better for me to communicate with you through the comments section of a post. Let me know when you can-thanks!

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21 tessa8m August 23, 2012 at 11:18 am

Hi Melinda! I just checked in my spam box for your email and found it there! Ahh I have no idea why it went to that, and I’m sorry it did :( I will get back to you later today though, emailing is just fine!

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22 Melinda Mills August 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm

No problem! Thanks for your help!

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23 Melinda Mills October 10, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Hey, Tessa! I sent you an email Sunday re a question I had about the refeeding process and wondered if you got that?

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24 Sloane Pitman October 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Hi beautiful!

Sorry that this is a comment, your email came back to me!
I hope you’re good! I have an idea I want to bounce off you…would you mind giving me your thoughts?

I really want to start a weekly campaign on the blog. My basic idea is for it to be called either “End the Shame” or “End the Silence”. What I’m thinking is that people email or tweet to me thoughts or feelings that they’ve been keeping secret or are ashamed of (anonymity is certainly an option!) as a way to shine a light on those thoughts and take the power away from that shame. For me, its been incredibly therapeutic to be totally honest about things I’ve been struggling with. Whether that’s eating, exercise, school, stress, depression, judgement, lack of faith, money, etc, its been so great to admit that I’m not perfect!

I have a couple goals for this:
1) specifically with ED, the secrecy and taboo that surrounds it keeps people sick. Others simply don’t understand the mindset behind it, and sufferers are scared that they’ll sound crazy if they admit they have a problem or are struggling. One of the biggest goals I have for the new direction of my blog is to help people understand more about what goes on in the mind of a sufferer, and hopefully take some of the shame away from the disorder. This campaign is just one part of that.

2) Though most people have really appreciated my honesty on the blog, some of my family and closest friends find it really appalling. They don’t understand how I can feel comfortable posting my most intimate thoughts in such a public forum. What I’ve discovered is that most of those people have issues of their own (not specifically ED, but just perfectionism, insecurity, etc.) that they don’t feel comfortable addressing or are ashamed of. No woman (or man) should feel like they have to hide any part of themselves. If we are to truly be happy, fulfilled, and peaceful, we have to accept our WHOLE selves–the good, bad, the painful, the beautiful.

I don’t want to make this just about eating disorders–I want it to be open to everyone. My vision is that people will submit a wide variety of things that they want to shine a light on. Though I want it to be powerful, I also hope there will be an aspect of humor involved. Kind of like a #sorrynotsorry thing. I know this is probably confusing–but my mind is sort of all over the place, which is why I’m asking for your thoughts! Here’s some examples that I’ve thought of

“I had pumpkin frozen yogurt yesterday, and even though I know its okay to treat myself every once in a while, I was guilty all day”

“I didn’t study enough for my test yesterday”

“I got the only A in my class yesterday, and even though I got some dirty looks, I’m pretty effing pleased with myself”

“Even though I’m a pretty good cook, I managed to ruin both eggs and instant oatmeal the other morning”

“I hate running”

“I’m scared that I’ll never live up to other’s expectations of me”

I don’t want to dwell on the negative, but want people to know that these thoughts are OKAY! They’re normal, they’re a part of life, and that keeping them secret and feeling ashamed of them only gives them more power. Probably at the end of the post I will address a few, and put a positive spin on things.

Does any of this make sense? Do you think its a good idea? Would you participate?
Be as honest as possible! My feelings won’t be hurt at ALL! I just really need some direction before I try to get this thing going. I SO appreciate your help! Love you so much!

xoxo
Sloane
Sloane Pitman recently posted..Taking a break.

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25 tessa8m October 21, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Hey There Sloane!

Not sure why the email was sent back to you… perhaps the address was typed in incorrectly? Anyway, this DOES sound like a good idea and i am being honest with you! And yes, for the record it does make sense :) I would like to participate and will try and do as much as I can during this rather busy time in my life. On that note though, I am not sure how much longer I can keep up with blogging, and I do in fact see a break on the horizon. It’s taken me away from work I really need to do, and this is just not okay! Ahh I am in a major dilemma right now, that is for sure. I am going to be thinking about the break thing for the next few days and for now, send me any more info on this idea, I would be interested to hear more!

I hope you had a most lovely weekend Sloane

xoxo Tessa

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26 tessa8m October 21, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Hey There Sloane!

Not sure why the email was sent back to you… perhaps the address was typed in incorrectly? Anyway, this DOES sound like a good idea and i am being honest with you! And yes, for the record it does make sense :) I would like to participate and will try and do as much as I can during this rather busy time in my life. On that note though, I am not sure how much longer I can keep up with blogging, and I do in fact see a break on the horizon. It’s taken me away from work I really need to do, and this is just not okay! Ahh I am in a major dilemma right now, that is for sure. I am going to be thinking about the break thing for the next few days and for now, send me any more info on this idea, I would be interested to hear more!

I hope you had a most lovely weekend Sloane

xoxo Tessa

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27 Kelly October 22, 2012 at 1:32 am

Hey Tessa I recently sent you an email and I was curious if you recieved it and got the chance to read it? I know you are super busy with school just like me and my email was quite lengthy. I resent it but don’t want to seem needy i’m just in a really tough place right now and could use some advice and I feel like I can relate to you and things you discuss in your blog! thanks for your time :)

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28 tessa8m October 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Just sent you an email Kelly, I am so very sorry it took me a long time to get back to you! Please don’t hesitate to email me back with any more questions or just if you want to talk :)

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29 Kelly Buchholz October 23, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Its totally okay :) Trust me I know how stressful and time consuming college is, let alone keeping up with a blog! You taking the time to read my email and get back to me is greatly appreciated! And I will definitely be keeping in touch with you :)

30 Kathleen Atkinson November 10, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Hi Tessa I absolutely love your blog and can relate to so much. I am a long time sufferer of anorexia and I really want my life back. I went through outpatient treatment back in 96′ and was on the road to recovery until 99′ then I started going back down hill due to some traumatic events in my life. Some how I found the strength to get myself back on track and went 13 years without a major slip up. Now Im struggling once again and this time its not as easy to get myself to where I was. The worst part is I have to get through these holidays coming up and Im really scared I wont be able to. I have a hard time being around tons of food, in fact its hard for me to go food shopping or even go to a restaurant (which I havent been to one since 2003) without having panic attacks. I can go to a small food store Aldi’s and pick up a few things but only if I listen to music and it’s mainly one song that keeps me calm. I just really want my life back :(

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31 tessa8m November 17, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Hi there Kathleen, I am so very sorry I have taken this long to get back to you! When I said I was taking time off the blog I guess that meant cutting myself from it all together. Thank you for sharing this all with me and of course I can relate, especially the holiday business! You have gotten better before so believe that you can again! We both know this is a pain the butt struggle (to say the least) but there is light at the end of the tunnel… sorry to use a cliche but I like that phrase a lot. Please email me if you want to talk more!

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32 Erin September 20, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Tessa,
I’m SO happy for you and your new job!! I’ve been through so many of the same struggles as you, and am back in school for nursing right now. It made me so sad to see you struggling with your courses and red-tape style professors at the end of last semester, because you seem like you would make an honest to goodness amazing nurse. I want to work in the NICU after graduation, too … and I gotta say there’s nothing as amazing as seeing the littlest of babies “graduate” strong and healthy! If you figure out that this is what you want to do….. GO FOR IT. You will be awesome!

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33 tessa8m September 23, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Thank you Erin, that means so much to hear you say such KIND words :) I feel the same way about the graduation idea! Best of luck with getting a job at the NICU, I bet you would enjoy it as much as I do… plus of course you will play a much more vital role than me!

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34 Erin September 26, 2013 at 10:46 pm

Hey lady… you KNOW that’s a lie!! Good patient care & outcomes are dependent on everyone on the team. Your work and contributions are just as important as surgeon’s or the cleaning staff’s. Seriously though, I am totally wishing you all the best. Stay healthy and stay HAPPY :) :)

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